Explain so many involuntarily single men at a roughly 50/50 gender ratio

Stickley1 · 2025-07-24T00:36:07+00:00

A significant fraction of women just aren’t that into men. I’m not even talking about lesbians. There are just a lot of ostensibly heterosexual women, who think most men are “gross,” and who have a low sex drive. They’ll pair up with a man if he offers a significant boost in social status or economic status, but otherwise are quite happy to remain single. They just don’t need a man. And societal structures no longer force her to pair up with a man. So she doesn’t.

DelDivision · 2025-07-23T23:48:48+00:00

People for some reason have to make shit seem equally as bad. Like its horrible to admit that women have one advantage in life. That never in history have men matched with women 1:1. There always have been men(and few women) who were too ugly or mental to have someone.

Jephta · 2025-07-25T06:14:50+00:00

Straight women are basically asexual by male standards. When I commute to work, I'll see 40 women I'm attracted to. But women can go months without seeing a man that grabs their attention as attractive. It's due to hormones, mostly, with testosterone mostly driving lust and being much higher in men than women. It means in practice that women need a much stronger lust signal to feel attraction.

Can you remember what it was like to be a little boy before puberty? Every time you passed a hot girl on the street, were your thoughts involuntarily interrupted so you could look at boobs with 100% attention like now, or did you mostly just walk around thinking about GI Joes without being interrupted? That's what it's like being a woman. They barely have more capacity for lust than children.

Better_Librarian_494 · 2025-07-23T19:19:53+00:00

Women cultivate attitudes towards men that make the idea of being with men deeply off-putting, that combined with their sexual segregation (women mostly spend time around other women), their generally low libido, culturally reinforced ignorance (women are discouraged far more from curiosity toward the opposite sex at younger ages), dwindling social infrastructure to facilitate men and women meeting each other organically, lesbians, bisexuals, and the general apathy that women have toward men as a result of all the above and then some.

That's why.

Unemployment affects men men more, lack of wealth, lack of education, lack of pretty much anything. There's more of us homeless, more of us committing suicide, less of us are thriving. And women on average consider men who are thriving.

Everything in society is tailor-made to create as much of a bottleneck around male attractiveness as is possible. Even up to the point of social disruption and disintegration.

nothingcrazy_ · 2025-07-23T19:15:35+00:00

Historically, men have only ever had to acquire women through resources. Now that we live in a world where women have equal access to resources, men have to impress women with other factors that the current generation of young men generally did not have stressed upon them by their more traditional parents.

Also, women are still putting great effort into maintaining their appearances, while men who do not have success dating generally are not.

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-07-23T19:54:13+00:00

Explain how many involuntarily single men there are, how many involuntarily single women there are and how you know this.

OffTheRedSand · 2025-07-23T19:43:36+00:00

Or It’s because most men go for the same girls, but there’s not enough of these girls to be around.

Early 20s men want younger women, but so do mid and late 20s men. Then men in their 30s want mid to late 20s women, taking that group out of the dating pool for mid and late 20s men.

The same way women might want a group of men, men do want a certain group of women too.

Most fat guys and old dudes don’t want to date fat girls and old girls, all men go for the same younger hotter women, making competition fierce for them. That’s why niche maxing work because it’s finding a small group that isn’t saturated with competition to date around in. But instead most men go to the most sought out girl there is.

Open-Quail-2573 · 2025-07-25T01:20:53+00:00

Women date up. No, seriously. Look around you. If you pay attention, most women (especially when it's not a high school sweetheart) go for guys older (at least a few years older if not more) with more wealth, status, and influence. The only thing she has more than him is probably looks (even that's slowly changing). Being a woman in the dating world in the west is awesome. The expectations for men are slowly going up and up. As women start out earning men it's only going to get worse with more people (both men and women) being perpetually single for longer periods as women will not settle for guys who make less. Generally speaking.

nefnaf · 2025-07-23T20:09:25+00:00

There are three main factors but you only focused on the least important one.

1) Some proportion of young women "dating" the same man, as you outlined in your post. This is a relatively small factor. It happens sometimes but most women wouldn't accept this, and few men have both the energy and proclivity to act this way.

2) Some proportion of women are single, but not celibate. They still have sexual encounters, which they can arrange easily because most men are easy. These women might have sex anywhere from multiple times a week to 2-4x per year. A lot of young single men are also like this, of course, but there is a higher risk of them "striking out" especially on dating apps like Tinder.

3) A lot of young women are single and celibate, but not too bothered. There is less social stigma attached to women who act this way, when compared with men. Celibate young men are likely to feel ashamed whereas young women are more accepting, and feel more psychologically secure knowing they could, if they really wanted to, obtain sexual access to men without too much trouble.

leosandlattes · 2025-07-23T19:28:30+00:00

Explain so many involuntarily single men at a roughly 50/50 gender ratio

Because women do not want those men. Women date across and up, it is what it is.

Hard_Corsair · 2025-07-23T19:14:05+00:00

There's so many involuntarily single men because there are so many voluntarily single women. Small differences in supply/demand ratios have massive effects on the entire market.

The solutions are either to encourage women to come back to the dating market, and/or to kick a portion of men right out.

toasterchild · 2025-07-23T19:13:57+00:00

Isn't this what red pill is all about? This is the goal, right? Isn't spinning plates what they are selling? The point is that you are supposed to learn how to be one of those guys with a few simple steps like hit the gym and negging, it's it not working?

Or are you saying that redpill mindset is fucking up everything? Im definitely on the side of it just making everything worse myself.

BigPhilip · 2025-07-23T20:56:58+00:00

Many voluntarily single women.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-07-24T01:22:49+00:00

Explain so many involuntarily single men

Voluntarily single women.

Sure, there are the hookup women, but there are also the women who just... aren't dating. Aren't hooking up. Etc.

The difference is that a voluntarily single person doesn't usually talk about it online. They are spending their time doing other things, so you just don't notice them.

It's also not 50/50, since several countries have or had pretty notorious female infanticide events.

alotofironsinthefire · 2025-07-23T20:26:49+00:00

Because women date slightly older (about 3 years on average) and each generation is smaller than the one before. When there is a baby boom there are more leftover women

Really simplified Example:

Generation 1 has 120 people

Generation 2 has 100 people

Generation 3 has 80 people

at 50/50 gender.

The dating pool for the 50 men in generation 2 is the 40 women in generation 3.

The dating pool for the 50 women in generation 2 is the 60 men in generation 1.

throwaway73737828 · 2025-07-23T19:39:22+00:00

This how it works 8 and above out of 10 guys, secure so many relationships, they get dms and attempts from multiple women and women share them. On the other hand the same guys share the women as well. So this whole dating things revolve around the 20% men. On the other hand 80% of men are being left behind until they become top 20 %. So in order to solve the 50/50 curve we can increase the guys who are in top 20% to 30-35% by men simply improving themselves

half_avocado33 · 2025-07-23T19:13:33+00:00

Let's imagine that what you said is true. So what?

cutegolpnik · 2025-07-23T19:27:35+00:00

So get mad at Chad for lying/obscuring to women that he is pursuing other women.

Some women don’t care, but most do and would choose being celibate over sleeping w a man who is actively pursuing other women.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2025-07-23T19:57:18+00:00

Hoeflation. Many women are demanding skyhigh "prices" despite offering less value as a life partner than their grandmothers did, and the ephemerality of love and marriage is more apparent than it's ever been.

SDW137 · 2025-07-23T19:39:31+00:00

Because women's standards went up over time.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-07-23T19:23:35+00:00

It’s largely area dependent. I think your scenario is less common, and a more likely possibility is that many immigrants are male, increasing the male dating pool.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-07-24T14:14:09+00:00

3 women for 1 guy.

That's rookie numbers though. You need at least 5, one for every day of the week, and keep the weekend for yourself, or special events.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-07-24T17:31:34+00:00

Women’s attraction is inherently for excluding men, so in any situation where that can happen it’s going to.

Money_Sink_4126 · 2025-07-25T05:22:40+00:00

The undesirable used to die in war. Now they stay home. The government needs them now more than ever for funding the single moms of the most desirable men. It's cucking via taxation

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-07-23T20:09:39+00:00

You have no proof of this “arithmetic”

It’s all from your own biased brain

Ok_Isopod308 · 2025-07-23T19:29:05+00:00

So what are we supposed to do about this?

habbo311 · 2025-07-23T19:33:38+00:00

I think you meant roster

nonquitt · 2025-07-23T19:59:18+00:00

In 1960, 13% of all adults were obese.

In 2018, that figure was 42%, and for women 20-39 it was 40%. Note that obesity is much more prevalent in the 40-59 age group than in the 20-39 (or 59+ group — sad) so actually this comparison understates the total increase in obesity among the group of women of roughly marrying age.

And this is just obesity, not overweight status.

There are obviously other factors such as technology which is a major one, but one of the key founding principles of all manosphere stuff is the 80/20 idea. But I think most men only really desire for a relationship say 40% of women (non-obese, nor on the cusp of, and not an ugly face is my heuristic there). So, it really is not so lopsided.

BlueeWaater · 2025-07-24T01:06:52+00:00

As time goes on the standards for men rise, the average guy is not datable.

donzok · 2025-07-24T11:50:41+00:00

lol. reddit isn’t able to handle this kinda reality-post

musicissoulfood · 2025-07-24T16:12:16+00:00

Leave it to a woman to follow up the sentence "They don't even need a "hoe phase", with example of women who are whoring themselves around like they are free use cum dumps. God bless modern day women. Ladies, please never change.

KayRay1994 · 2025-07-23T21:29:18+00:00

Women, on average, date guys who are up to 3 years older, meaning that a 1-5 age gap is a reasonable expectation. The rate of single men at the 30-49 range is 25%. I’m sure you can figure the rest out

NarlusSpecter · 2025-07-23T19:23:44+00:00

This is garbage

fiftypoundpuppy · 2025-07-23T19:16:59+00:00

Consent

You're welcome

SherbertDense1415 · 2025-07-24T01:37:10+00:00

Lack of sexual charisma. Once women taste a certain type of guy, the others are "nah not my type!!"

GKilat · 2025-07-24T05:46:57+00:00

I think you didn't take into account women that just can't be bothered with men because of the equally negative perspective or simply being content. While the man is incel, his counterpart woman is a volcel and living a carefree life of being single. There are also incel women who are too unattractive even for an incel man to take notice.

So the assumption here is that women are as thirsty as men and I would argue that the thirsty women are the visible minority and the majority are just minding their own business and explaining why there are a lot of incel men.

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2025-07-23T20:29:46+00:00

Women are sharing the top guys obviously 🙄! Top = best looking!

The beta bucks are then for settling: these guys will need to prove their worth, wait for sex etc and are generally unattractive to women on their level.

This is why it’s so important to filter for dual mating strategists (promiscuous women) that will only divorce and pillage the guys they “settle for”.

ThatBitchA · 2025-07-23T22:03:13+00:00

There's always been several guys without dates. 🤷

Darwin called it, "survival of the fittest".

Also, most men aren't juggling 3 different women. Most women aren't juggling 3 different dudes.

People date more casually that previous generations. Which is a good thing. People are getting into relationships when they choose rather instead of force or desperation or survival.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-23T19:04:28+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-23T19:04:28+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2025-07-23T21:56:04+00:00

Firstly, what do you mean by, "so many"? It's pretty simple though. Some women are voluntarily celibate, or some men are having a higher than average amount of six.

esdebah · 2025-07-24T00:10:44+00:00

Yeah, the books are cooked. 50/50. Maybe 60/40. Three to one is some shit y'all made up. Meta-analysis bares this out.

Practical-Monk1586 · 2025-07-24T03:18:51+00:00

Definition of “competition”

capsaicinintheeyes · 2025-07-24T03:56:05+00:00

Agreed

AllyCut3 · 2025-07-24T07:06:56+00:00

There we go again

Key_Procedure1278 · 2025-07-25T13:21:56+00:00

He doesn't realise how blessed he is. His Life is peaceful and his money his own. He only needs to control lust

ComplexAttitude4Lyfe · 2025-07-25T14:50:00+00:00

Tell me again what "spinning plates" is and why men "spinning plates" is good while women dating multiple men is frowned upon.

I'm not doing that, but I'm interested in this double standard redpill men seem to be ok with.

Pepes_parrillaXXX69 · 2025-07-25T15:45:06+00:00

80/20

AcanthaceaeKey5113 · 2025-07-26T02:46:42+00:00

Far fewer women than men seeking opposite sex partners, and the most attractive men often dating and sleeping with multiple women. Add to that the promotion of lesbianism, you get women out earning men, male skewed sex ratios and low economic inequality between men and women but high economic inequality overall, there are lots of men with zero opportunities to find women. If this is not addressed then men being alone should no longer be a mark of failure, not when that is due to external factors outside of their control.

Commercial-Engineer3 · 2025-07-24T07:50:08+00:00

The average guy can get a girlfriend. All this does is incentivizes men to play the field and not commit to any woman.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-07-24T14:45:10+00:00

You clearly don’t understand what an abortion is or what the states or Supreme Court has mandated. How many states do you think have language to account for all of the intricate complexities of women’s reproductive health care? How many states do you think have lawmakers who are educated in the intricate complexities of women’s reproductive health care?

The philosophical debate around abortion is irrelevant to whether you think a child is being murdered. Science does not agree on when life begins. Where you decide life begins is mostly your opinion. That’s beside the point, but the argument of abortion is about the bodily autonomy of human beings. The crux of the argument is about bodily autonomy. And you can believe that women shouldn’t have bodily autonomy, but you should just come out and say it rather than pretending that you care about the unborn. You can say that you believe that an undeveloped fetus has more bodily autonomy than a fully grown woman who was born herself. But don’t hide behind this lazy “I care about the unborn” argument.

Both slavery and abortion rights share a common argument—right to bodily autonomy.

You also don’t understand how the constitution was meant to be used. It does not contain every element needed for a free and just society and not a word more. It was designed to be adjusted throughout changing times. The founding fathers designed it to be adaptable. The founding fathers could not have imagined the growth of technology, industry, social norms, and they knew that. To think that the constitution is not a living document, but a frozen capture of one definition of democracy, is extremely naïve.

And lastly, the only person who is really bitter in this argument, is you. Sorry that you can’t have sex as much as you want.

RedstarHeineken1 · 2025-07-27T02:27:47+00:00

Women are ok being alone. Relationships add to their workload.

loopyawesome · 2025-07-27T04:04:02+00:00

The reasons are rather difficult to explain and include a lot of conjunctions followed by pauses. I've already had enough word salad last year and I don't intend on having a flare up with my NCOS.

LSS, looks are important and definitely a limiting factor but there is most definitely much more.

Christian-Phoenix · 2025-07-27T05:40:36+00:00

Yea, I’d like to know why this is happening as well

Old-Philosopher5587 · 2025-07-27T07:25:33+00:00

Women are whores by nature, mystery solved dude lol.

burneraccountguydude · 2025-07-27T21:26:35+00:00

We arnt attractive. Women arnt going to date or fuck a man who isn’t attractive. Besides they manage just fine sharing a smaller percentage of men.

Electrical-Yak2514 · 2025-09-17T22:36:24+00:00

When will men get it through their tiny brains that if they cant make a woman's life significantly better than she can make it on her own as single, they will never get a woman. And that woman will happily remain single, hook up with handsome, successful who provide pleasure and status and probably money, and wait until they meet the full package. There's no benefit to be with the middle of the bell curve man - you dont grasp that the middle of the bell curve man pulls down even an average woman becaue they have so little to offer and require so much in return. It's also hilarious that you're such a fucking loser that you blame women for this rather than top men who you believe are taking your girls. Cause those guys would fucking stomp you and laugh in your face, but guess what fellas so will a woman.

Electric-Vermicelli · 2025-07-23T19:14:37+00:00

The Sexual Revolution + Online Dating = An unmitigated disaster for both sexes and society as a whole.

Sophiatab · 2025-07-23T21:51:23+00:00

It's very easy. Men only chase the top beautiful women and ignore the vast majority of ordinary women. Men absolutely refuse to date average women.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-07-23T20:29:04+00:00

Most women aren’t juggling three guys at once, and most men aren’t some ultra desirable “rooster” swimming in options. If that were true, dating apps wouldn’t be full of both men and women saying how hard it is to find someone.

Being single doesn’t always mean someone’s getting rejected. Sometimes they’re being super selective, unsure of what they want, like being single, or aren’t putting themselves out.

The dating landscape isn’t what it was in our grandparents’ time. But some men still expect the same outcome, show up, exist, and get a wife, three kids, and a white picket fence. Meanwhile, women have more freedom now and aren’t rushing into a setup that doesn’t benefit them.

A lot of guys haven’t caught on that being a decent provider isn’t enough anymore. You also have to be likable, emotionally available, and bring something positive to someone’s life. If you don’t, or worse, if you think someone owes you a relationship just for being around, no wonder they’re single.

FireFoxG · 2025-07-23T20:53:24+00:00

I feel like there is an undercurrent beyond just 'women's standards are delusional so incels are SOL".

Me and my rich friends have given up too. Its a quality problem, and women are a fucking mess after decades of having their delusions validated by social media.

You couldn't pay me to deal with a 'Violet Beauregarde pre blueberry princess'(willy wonka). You women are SOL... and none of the men are coming to save your asses.

Slingshot7765 · 2025-07-24T02:39:09+00:00

When women take hormonal birth control, their body thinks it's pregnant, so she stops seeking male attention and remains perpetually single.

alwaysright0 · 2025-07-23T21:00:44+00:00

What society has normalised promiscuity?

Zealousideal_Force10 · 2025-07-24T00:09:46+00:00

Its more that being a single guy has negative connotations that come with it whereas single woman has positive connotations.

Lightinthebottle7 · 2025-07-24T00:43:23+00:00

Men and women are single at the same rate. (Pew research data, I can't be bothered to post it)

Multiple partners at the same time (both who know about each other and those who don't) for any extended period of time are rare.

Like what are you even on about?

You sound like a person whose problem with "promiscuity" is that he isn't the one receiving it, so you invent fictional scenarios to be mad about.

Epthewoodlandcritter · 2025-07-23T20:34:20+00:00

Women are not by and large doing any of the things you're saying. It's not 1 man 3 women. You think these women are being faithful to this one man? Women who don't mind sharing men are also being shared. And do you seriously think average men aren't partnered? I don't understand where you guys see this happening in real life. It's the way below average guys who don't even try and are single and complaining about it. They claim it's involuntary because they can't stand accountability.

fucksiclepizza · 2025-07-24T01:10:48+00:00

Because women actually want to like and share interests etc with their partners, not just have any willing dude.

ImAchickenHawk · 2025-07-25T00:51:02+00:00

I think you're reading way too much into it. Women are just staying single. We don't need the headache, the mess and the manchild who has no personality. We can pay our own bills, own our own homes, etc. No man required. A lot of men dont really seem to like women at all any more. They're all too busy trying to impress each other and compete for who can talk the most shit about women. Look into the 4b movement, it's been going on for a while. Started in Korea, I believe.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2025-07-23T23:27:44+00:00

There aren't that many involuntarily single men, they're just loud online. You've fallen for propaganda.

A lot of sad singles are just lazy and entitled. They expect their perfect partner to fall into their lap, magically wanting all the same things, and they get real mad it's not happening. Dates that don't pan out are literally a normal part of dating and you people are all fucking babies about it. I read men whining here and watch women whining on Tiktok and a whole lot of you are just furious at anyone who isn't exactly what you want. Y'all think "dating is broken" just because finding a serious relationship with a compatible person takes effort. Pathetic toddler shit!!

The whole premise of this question really says a lot in and of itself. You seem to expect people to just pair off down gender lines with whoever is available. That's not how this works, thank god. People who don't like their options will look for better options, because even when it's lonely it's still better than a shitty relationship with a person you don't like. And you're sitting here whining about how an ugly women who doesn't like you should be touching your penis.

anon12xyz · 2025-07-24T05:00:44+00:00

Women don’t need men. They can create a life without them. They can wait to get married

EsotericRonin · 2025-07-23T23:11:21+00:00

How many times will incels pedal the beta bux alpha fucks scenario. The average man is getting dates and having sex.

Title	Explain so many involuntarily single men at a roughly 50/50 gender ratio
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	121
Comments	772
Date	July 23, 2025 7:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m7i1u0/explain_so_many_involuntarily_single_men_at_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/explain-so-many-involuntarily-single-men-at-a.1557874 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557874

Comments