Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2023-03-13T20:00:13+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

[–]Play_Mutedriven is my wife. [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Play_Muted2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Preme20 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lulll3 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Play_Muted2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4Bach0 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedown2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4Bach2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedown2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4Bach1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedown2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4Bach1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedown1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4Bach1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedown1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Play_Muted1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedown1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Slyfer_Seven1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Play_Muted3 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Slyfer_Seven1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ok-Map-7596 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gymbro718nyc22 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ohmaygahh1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm purple pill and here's my advice. Stop focusing on dating. I would love to be a billionaire with no job, but it's impossible for me. For some men, finding a woman is that hard. Especially if you're unwilling to change on things that would make you more attractive to women: losing weight (to make your face more handsome), jaw surgery, learning to now be awkward, and all the other things you rejected. There are very ugly/creepy looking men who melt the creep away by being charismatic. Check out Stavros the comedian. But you're autistic and stubborn in the comments so I don't see this changing either.

Just live your life. Focus on the attainable goals you do enjoy. Find other aspirations. Volunteer for good causes. The red pill in me says not everyone gets to breed and it's competitive for men, if you can't compete then get out of the kitchen. The blue pill in me says if you just made yourself happy on your own you might accidentally not see a woman coming so you can't sabotage it with your awkwardness.

finally, someone honest

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Play_Mutedriven is my wife. [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]neetykeeno [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ok-Map-7596 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]thestruggle-isreal1 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9892 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPath1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]edgyny1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPath1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffender1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPath1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

See if you used that on me after I sent you my dick picture,

Dick pics are a fast pass to get this response, so I'd probably assume you were serious.

I'd assume thats why you were doing it, but then again I know this shit and wouldn't send the dick picture in the first place unless you were already wanting one.

It's not so much the dick pics but more my annoyance with people that can't read or think they're going to be some magical exception to my rule. But they're getting hook-ups off the website so of course they're going to assume everyone is down for them.

One of the amusing things is just how little game guys have, they have no idea how to talk to women in a way that would be sexually appealing. Its kinda sad.

Even the ones with game still fall under the category "Potential base for Eiffle Tower." It's like guys looking for casual all follow a script.

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_Drgree1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jobbo321 [score hidden] 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygz [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Play_Mutedriven is my wife. [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygz [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9894 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Play_Muted2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9892 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]jobbo321 [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygz [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygz1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffender1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]mwb111300 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jobbo3211 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]jobbo3211 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]yvaN_ehT_nioJ1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ok-Map-7596 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lulll [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_Drgree5 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9891 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]relish5k1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lulll [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]GoldenHornyChicken [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lulll [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GoldenHornyChicken1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lulll [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]yvaN_ehT_nioJyour account has temporarily suspended for being based [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]YaKnowEstacado2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeveralSadEvenings1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lulll1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeveralSadEvenings1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KarmaCameleonian1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9892 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijk2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9892 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Deranged_Loner1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Maffioze24M Purple Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Maffioze1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9893 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Maffioze1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DoinIt9894 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Maffioze1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStT4 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeveralSadEvenings2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]crow_in_your_garden [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]crow_in_your_garden [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]potoricco [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (50 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. [score hidden] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. [score hidden] 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_Drgree1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]blueberrypie02 [score hidden] 3 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueberrypie02 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]blueberrypie02 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueshinx [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]blueshinx [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BigOleGreenTrees [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]BigOleGreenTrees [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]BigOleGreenTrees [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]Play_Mutedriven is my wife. [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You have to see the blatant hypocrisy of what you are writing here. You are intelligent - let's break this down.

You say that women ought to get stronger so they can overlook the comments that are made about them. Women should not get upset when they are judged. Women should listen to the opposing opinions of strangers and weigh those opinions against their own beliefs, in the hope that they might become more enlightened or gain some more insight.

That's great. That's a solid take. But then you turn around and express concern over men being judged. It suddenly becomes a problem when it is impacting men. When it impacts women, you frame it as a personal failing on the woman's part. When it impacts men, you frame it as sociological failing that is beyond their control.

You must see the lack of consistency between those two points. And it is fine to have an inconsistent perspective that favors men - as a male, I would expect it from you. But you ought to call it what it is, rather than stretching for an excuse about the cultural zeitgeist. That's simply lazy.

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry, but that's absolute nonsense. I am a physically disabled woman with a severe neuromuscular and spondyloarthritic condition that makes my spine shaped like a question mark. I use mobility equipment at the age of 33. I am in constant pain from growing additional bones in my body. I cannot walk normally, stand normally, use my arms normally. I cannot turn my neck. I have to have both hips and knees replaced in my mid-30s, with no chance of ever using my body normally. I cannot engage in normal human activity of any level.

If you think I have not received tremendous judgement for the way I stand and ambulate, if you think I do not receive criticism from men and woman about my heavily disabled and undesirable appearance, and if you think I do not have tremendous "internal fortitude" in dealing with that, you are incredibly narrow-minded.

The world shits on me more than most. And my case is not that unusual. There are women like me in the world. Any range of disability can cause similar experiences.

Regardless, I pray you never have to deal with anything like this.

[–]Ohmaygahh1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ohmaygahh2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]OhmaygahhGeriatric GigaChad, Passport advocate LFG! [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (38 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]AcanthocephalaNew947Willing to tell you its your face not your personality. [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]5PointTakedownBlue Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_30841 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1Here4BachFriendly Misandrist [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CimZim38F 15 years as FWB 🏆 [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]CimZim38F 15 years as FWB 🏆 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CimZim38F 15 years as FWB 🏆 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcherEgalitarian feminist [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_Lurk1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]BigOleGreenTrees [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]0DarkFlirty [score hidden] 3 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]crow_in_your_garden [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]autumncolors816 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zadacat [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]crow_in_your_garden [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zadacat [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]crow_in_your_garden [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ciabatta_Scoober [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Zadacat [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]CountC0ckula [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]northernlights190 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Correct-Warthog-9061 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CimZim38F 15 years as FWB 🏆 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]0DarkFlirty0 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RegTextoffenderTANSTAAFL [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]saraimarsenasimp pill 😘 [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]liefelijkthat’s *Queen* Camilla to you, thank you very much [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcherEgalitarian feminist [score hidden] 3 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]CimZim38F 15 years as FWB 🏆 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ciabatta_Scoober [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ciabatta_Scoober1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ciabatta_Scoober1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ciabatta_Scoober1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcherEgalitarian feminist [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]WestCombSplitThe Holy Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcher1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlACAB (All Cows Are Beautiful) [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]EulenWatcherEgalitarian feminist [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlACAB (All Cows Are Beautiful) [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure621 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Wild_Contribution969Dark Triadmaxxing [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]fortxfrolic [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Wild_Contribution9691 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Electrical_Coat_87141 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygz [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlACAB (All Cows Are Beautiful) [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]red__hulkfeminism is not an option [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]scwizardPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]scwizardPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR1 points 3 years ago* [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]scwizardPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPathAngel Mind On Demon Time [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPath1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LadyofTheGreyPath1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]scwizard1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]scwizard2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The onus is on the slapper. They shouldn't slap or choke without consent. You shouldn't have to go through a list of 'hey don't do these dangerous, potentially injurious, and definitely painful things to me'. The default expectation is and should be you don't just slap or choke someone without their welcome.

Ok so this person can continue to go thru life not making any modifications and continue to put the expectation on others and have a happy dating life oh wait they gave up. Yes I agree with you that the slapper should check first and get consent. BUT if I was running into that as a recurring problem then I'm going to establish that boundary up front with the new person. That's what I'm saying.

You have a problem and you are suffering negative consequences from it to expect other people to address it for you is foolish and naive.

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Again. Make no changes. Keep taking L’s. It’s your life.

Edit: Let me go a bit more in depth.

This behavior is not that common. Literally have never had someone try to choke me without consent, it's not normal behavior.

I'm with you, I've never heard of this being a repeated problem too. Makes me think OP is making it up. But then again I don't get out much.

Now as for the

t. Someone who just chokes someone in bed with no warning/prior consent is not going to stop just because you ask them nicely.

"ask them nicely" always gotta strawman and distort. You set the boundary, you enforce the boundary. You keep getting caught up in the "they shouldn't do it, they're responsible". I already addressed all this:

Yes I agree with you that the slapper should check first and get consent. BUT if I was running into that as a recurring problem then I'm going to establish that boundary up front with the new person.

You're lacking in pragmatism and at this point you're arguing to argue. I'm ignoring you from here on out.

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]scwizardPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlACAB (All Cows Are Beautiful) [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LillthOfBabylon [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nate_Reborn [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifaneaDEEZ Pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]0DarkFlirty [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Peacesquad [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ainsleygz [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]scwizardPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifanea1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]neetykeeno1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifanea1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]neetykeeno1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]biggestuzifanea1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HighestTierMaslow1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Safinated [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zadacat [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]THHBHStTThe plural of anecdote is not data [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Barneysparky [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]red__hulkfeminism is not an option [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]happy_discusOverdosing on Pills [score hidden] 3 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_3084 [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]happy_discusOverdosing on Pills [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]According_Talk_30842 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Lift_and_LurkNo Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nothatyoucare [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Creation_SoulMarried Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Safinated [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CliffPR [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Katatonicsnake [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AstronautLoveShackSuccubus Demon whose every motive is pure evil [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Creation_SoulMarried Purple Pill Man [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away34both genders equally suck [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CimZim38F 15 years as FWB 🏆 [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]VampireChaserIf she's on her period it's a bonus [score hidden] 3 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]Safinated [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]0DarkFlirty [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlACAB (All Cows Are Beautiful) [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Barneysparky [score hidden] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgyny𝒥𝑒𝓇𝓀-𝑜𝒻𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓈 [score hidden] 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]VampireChaserIf she's on her period it's a bonus [score hidden] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]fatsackguy47im tired of being right all the time pilled [score hidden] 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gofigure62No Pill [score hidden] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum [score hidden] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]FineDevelopment00👻The PPD ghost, making ice cubes🧊 in Hell😈🔥 [score hidden] 3 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Duncan flung away the girdle and pulled himself back into the bedclothes like a turtle into its shell. "Oh no," he said, "I'm not letting you into this bed until you go in there and peel that junk off your face. Fornication may be all very well in its way, but if I'm going to come out looking like a piece of flowered wallpaper I reject it."

She saw his point.

When she returned, scraped more or less clean, she snapped off the light and slithered into bed beside him. There was a pause.

"I guess now I'm supposed to crush you in my manly arms," Duncan said out of the darkness.

She slid her hand beneath his cool back.

He groped for her head, snuffling against her neck. "You smell funny," he said.

This scene from Margaret Atwood's "The Edible Woman" is so comical, and I burst out laughing at that last line because dude sounds like a little boy who just told a little girl she has cooties.

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The point that "casual" hookups, especially between immoral people who don't even really like each other, are empty? Actually there are multiple ways this scene can be interpreted. A few more that spring to mind are (MY SPOILER TAGS ARE NOT WORKING and I don't know why):

!how Peter wants Marian to doll up whereas Duncan prefers her natural which can symbolize Marian being herself as opposed to putting on airs of "performative femininity", although that doesn't really track since neither man really seems to value Marian for who she is, which brings me to my next interpretation...!<

!how women are often expected to conform to men's desires but not the other way around (Marian doing things to appease both men's preferences but them not doing the same for her)!<

!men not being considered sullied by hookups but women are according to certain societal attitudes, hence the allegory of Duncan not being "marked" by Marian's makeup after the hookup!<

!Duncan potentially being either closeted or "ace", since he doesn't seem to actually enjoy the hookup. He definitely isn't "demi" since he already has no morals about "casual" sex and knowingly with an engaged woman at that...!<

But the first interpretation I mentioned is my personal favorite. But no, none of the interpretations went over my head afaik. I just thought the diction was amusing albeit fitting for the context. I wasn't making fun of the story, just telling how it made me laugh.

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A lot of out of shape and sloppily men are upset they can’t bang 8s, 9s & 10s with ease. A lot of them are no different than out of shape women who chase men who are 8s, 9s, 10s that pump and dump them

The same way some men go overseas for more “traditional” women who are attractive/skinny is the same way some women who rather choose single-ness and 1 to 2 times a week hook ups with Chads

I do not disagree that a lot of these guys go overseas cause they feel some countries may offer a better dating pool but it would be ignorant to believe that a lot of these guys aren’t fat, lazy and just looking for a way to fuck good looking women without having to spend too much or try too hard. Which is ironic because going to an entire different country for women is definitely trying hard

Women obviously are hypergamous but you are out of your mind if you think a lot of out of shape guys arent also looking for a super beautiful women

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Dude’s problem was airing out his displeasure with her dress in such a petulant way to his date. If it was such a big deal for him, he could’ve simply ghosted her or declined a second date or not ask for one.

OR he could’ve brought it up in a much more flirty manner down the line once he got to know her better, either directly or indirectly. He could hint how he loves it when women dress in such a way. Or if they have great rapport and comfort, he could tell her how much he liked her look in a certain IG post or dating app picture.

But to put her on the spot and ask “why did you dress that way I feel like you were shit testing me” comes across as petulant and whiney.

He fucked up, plain and simple.

I remember matching with this super feminine, well dressed woman. We exchanged lots of messages. When we finally met up, she came in with fucking sweatpants and a ratty t shirt as if she just rolled out of bed. She put in zero effort. It turned me off. But I didn’t whine or pout. I still spent time with her. And I simply never saw her again.

Men need to better understand how to communicate with women. The HOW is so much more important. You need to be a bit more indirect and passive in your comms, at least in the early stages. That’s just a general rule of thumb. Learn to read her communication style and go from there. Some prefer direct. Some prefer indirect. But Jesus, that guy really fumbled the bag.

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The point is he could’ve gotten his message across better. But he didn’t. And it revealed their personality incompatibilities.

The irony is she sounds like the type of woman he’d actually like, physically. And he’d probably have seen that feminine side of her if he kept seeing her.

But he aggressively confronted her about her attire and turned her off. If he didn’t cancel, I’m sure she would have as well.

As for her, she probably does feel some sort of sting being rejected FIRST. Women can be fickle like that since they’re not used to being rejected. And especially not from men they never wanted to begin with. I know attractive women who go on first dates with men, find out they’re not into him at all and didn’t enjoy the date, and then get upset he doesn’t follow up for a second. Because they’re so used to always getting asked for second dates and having to reject these men. But wait, this one guy I didn’t like doesn’t like me, EITHER? It fucks with them.

So she’s probably salty he got to call off the date before she did. So she’s licking her wounds and seeking support from her online gal pals to shit on him.

Make no mistake - he messed up first though.

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The biggest pattern I’ve noticed with PPD men and the manosphere is that they dont know how to use words properly and they love conflating them.

Examples:

What they say: Im so lonely.
What they mean: Im horny.
What women will say: I personally dont care about looks.
What they believe she said: All women care nothing about looks.
What women will say: I want a nice guy who treats me right.
What they believe she said: My pussy cums a waterfall when men show me human decency.
What women AND STATISTICS would say: Women prefer guys taller than she is.
What they believe women and stats say: If you are 5’11 and under, you are worthless in women’s eyes.
What they say: Women just want tall guys.
What they mean: The women I want to fuck just want tall guys.
What they say: Fat women are disgusting and resemble pigs.
What they pretend they say: My preference is thin women.
What statistics and women say: Women find rich men to be desirable.
What they think is being said: All women are golddiggers and will not settle for anything less.
What women and stats say: Women find these traits in men to be more desirable.
What they think is being said: Women will only accept men with these traits.
What they say: Sex is a need.
What they mean: I demand hot women fuck me and they should feel bad for not fucking me.

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Thing is: Most of this list came from communicating with the guys here actively misinterpretating what women say.

Here’s 3 examples:

A popular thing guys say is that “Women lie about what sexually arouses them”, but when I ask for them to show me women saying “Being nice to me is sexy” or “Being nice to me arouses me”, I never see that. I would see women say “I want/like a nice guy would respects me”. How is a woman saying what she likes/wants in a guy automatically translate to “this arouses me”?

In a similar fashion, when guys claim “Women lie when they say looks don’t matter”, but when I ask for them to show me a woman saying “Women do not care about a guy’s looks”, I never get that. I see women saying “I personally do not care about looks” or even just “Looks don’t matter than much to women”.

A personal example is that I get called a man-hater. Then I would ask “Show me where I showed disdain for men”, they usually don’t. The ones that do ignore that I said “Men here”, “Certain men”, “Men who do this”, “Men who show this behavioral pattern”. So instead of just looking at what I wrote, they just read what they want to read and claim I made that statement about all men.

The issue isn’t communicating. The issue is not actually looking at what is being said. That’s why I quote guys here, so they can what specifically I am looking at so there will be no miscommunication whatsoever.

The other portion of the problem is that not saying what they really mean is not gender specific. I had a female friend like this, and the friendship ended quickly and poorly because she would hardly ever say what she really means.

For example: Her: Hey, could you not post my art in Group A? I’d prefer they dont show that to them.

Me: Okay, understood. Post it to group B.

Her: I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST IT!

Me: No you didnt! Shows her exactly what she texted me.

[–]noafrochamplusamurai1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I get what you're saying, but there's still a disconnect. Back in the prehistoric days( early 2000's) I had a communications professor drop a knowledge bomb on our class that was so transformative to my cognition that it's life lesson I impart on my kids. This is the single most important thing that he wanted us to know: It doesn't matter what the speaker says, it only matters what the speaker hears. As the speaker we need to be better are making sure that our message is being received the way we intended, with the meaning still intact with what we wanted to communicate. An example of this can be pulled from your first post. You listed the disconnect of men saying they wanted intimacy, really meaning that they wanted sex. For you those two things are separate items that aren't mutually exclusive. For them, you can't one without the other, both sides of that conversation are interpreting it in different ways. That's because the conversation isn't centered around a locus of understanding. It's centered around assigning blame for a problem

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That's not what you said though.

It may well be true that those guys who want a mommymcbangmaidfleshlight say they want a feminine woman. But this is a oneway implication.

Actually wants a mommymcbangmaidfleshlight.
-> Says he "wants a feminine woman."

But what your comment says is the reverse.

Says he "wants a feminine woman."
-> Actually wants a mommymcbangmaidfleshlight.

You can't just reverse inferences (flip the arrows) like that. You have to prove both directions separately.

You're arguing the wrong direction of your statement.

There are some formulas for proving the reverse inference given the forward inference.

A common (and necessary one) would be to demonstrate that guys who don't want a mommymcbangmaidfleshlight also don't say they want a feminine woman.

My comment falsifies that. Plenty of guys who don't want a mommymcbangmaidfleshlight will say they want a feminine woman.

In general that's pretty obvious for a sexual species. Men want feminine mates and women want masculine mates.

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Lol.

Let’s play.

The politicians and mask situation: it is a form of a contradiction, yes. More specifically, it’s a form of hypocrisy. Rules for thee and none for me.

For the men, they are not a contradiction. On the surface it can seem like it, but it’s not when you dig in. Because the principle is: I want a woman who is so hyper selective in who she wants to have sex with that she basically has sex with no one else except for me because somehow I’m this superior man that finally is appealing enough to match her ideals.”

That’s not a contradiction. Him not wanting her to have sex with other men all flippantly while losing her control over him and fucking him immediately is a consistent, linear set of ideals that square with each other. What’s the exact contradiction?

It’s basically another way of saying I want to be the best man for her. No contradiction in that.

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So you don't really know what the quality of the movie is beyond a few clips?

Im sorry, are you asking I should watch the movie to figure out if the clips of CP I witnessed is high quality?

It's controversial, without question,

I would hope people would think CP Is controversial.

I haven't seen it, so I don't know if it's a bad film,

You have to watch the whole movie to figure out that zooming in on a 14 year old’s camel toe while she touches that camel toe is bad? You have to watch the movies to figure out that filming girls in skimpy outfits and adults zooming the camera on their asses while they twerk is bad?

nor do I know if the director is a pedophile

Sexualizing real life children, and having them pose as EVEN YOUNGER CHILDREN, is something a pedophile does.

Some things can be black-and-white.

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[–]LillthOfBabylon2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Bringing up a movie sexualizing young children unprovoked

So we should ignore the sexual exploitation of children?

and fixating on all the sexual parts is also something a pedophile does

“Please ignore the fact Im sexually abusing kids. Why are you people obsessed with the fact Im sexually exploiting minors?!”

People also ignored R Kelly’s CSA tendencies because he was so talented. Look how well that turned out.

You know, you always have the option of just not going so hard in the paint over something you haven't even seen,

I saw the clips.

“Excuse you. You didnt watch ALL the CP that was filmed!”

making assumptions the director is pedo based on the little you have seen,

“Stop thinking Jared Fogle is a pedo based on a couple of pictures you saw on his computer!”

but I suppose this place runs off of these hot takes.

Oh boy, when standing up against CP and condemning sexually exploiting 14 year olds for a movie is a hot take……

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I had less than no interest in it when it was released, didn't find the controversy particularly interesting to rabble about, and continue to have less than no interest in it. Any guy who even bothers to watch Cuties is probably sus.

Having to endure listening to my wife and kids watch Dance Moms in the other room is torture enough.

That whole shitshow "culture" is entirely driven by women for women.

I'm not impressed and it just seems grotesque and vulgar.

But for whatever reason women push this on their daughters. All I can think is the dads must be absent, spineless or worse.

It just reminds me of that whole bullshit feminist model school dress code the Oregon chapter of NOW came up with that my middle school adopted that is so toothless it allows my daughter's 12-13yo classmates to go to school with their asses hanging out and causes fights because we forbid it.

It's infuriating. But I know, I know, I'm a "prude" or "conservative" or whatever.

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Yes i understand, but my point is that why men acclimate to the garbage ppl like Tate because it really does seem like there is no space for young men issues, like it honestly doesnt, and I've really tried to look.

I have a younger brother and when he asked me about Andrew Tate I explained thoroughly why he isn't someone to aspire to be, but my younger brother is going to scroll social media and he's going to look for role models and communities and I couldn't find him a single recommendation for him that wasn't littered with red pill garbage or useless non advice.

Like why isn't there is a feminist space or figure helping young men become better at courting women? Everything that they mention about young men is some derivative of "toxic masculinity" "patriarchy", where are the feminist spaces for men to be better on dates, in bed, to make money.

Young men are going to always want women, money and charisma, no leftist spaces or even apolitical places really have good actionable advice for this. IMO men's understanding and empathy for women would skyrocket if there were more non toxic non-mysognistic people/communities that helped them for male centric issues.

[–]HighlyFlashy-1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Because men don’t even want to subscribe to those spaces. As you already said, they want someone to validate their feelings and make them feel good. They don’t want to hear someone, especially a woman, tell them to be accountable for their “shortcomings” and make themselves more desirable to women by doing xyz. Majority of men do not like being told what to do by women because it makes them feel emasculated. I’ve come across a few female YouTubers who do provide men with dating advice and help, but of course they don’t get the same traction because men don’t want to participate in those communities. They’d rather be mad, find someone who validates their anger, circle jerk with other men who are mad too, and be mad about the world together. And quite frankly, that’s a personal problem. You don’t get compassion for that just because you want to be coddled.

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Those are the extreme examples of it but its also true in other situations. When you're asking for relationship advice, when you and your female partner disagree about something, when your lady is acting like an asshole towards you, when men are dying in a war, when people try to understand privilege in society, ... people will diminish your suffering and overstate the amount of blame you really deserve for how things are.

The biggest issue for me is that feminism gives people a smokescreen to pretend that the way they see the world is perfectly logical, reasonable and makes sense. Really when you talk to feminists (also on this sub) it is pretty clear that their feminist beliefs really stem from the empathy and agency bias in one way or another but they will never admit it and instead use the rationalisations that feminism has conveniently made for them in order to pretend that they are actually rational beings that see the world scientifically.

Just imagine for a second. In the west there is still a pay gap and I do believe this is atleast partly caused by sexism against women, I don't deny these things. But what would you choose? Earning 101% of what you currently do but suddenly you are no longer protected by the law from domestic violence and people just blame you for everything or earning 100% but you're actually protected from violence? I know what I would choose because I have lived through this. I would even give away 20% of my earnings if that would mean I didn't have to experience this suffering.

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Fun fact: I lived in Capitol hill in a building overlooking Cal Anderson when CHAZ happened.

My dog got gassed by the cops (well the whole fucking block did basically) and when we went outside to get away from the gas we got shot with a flashbang that bounced of my chest and blew up like a second after it bounced.

And then we got to deal with the Chaztards who were patting people down and checking ID's to enter the zone

And then we had to deal with the fucking right wing morons online which kept saying they were going to show up and kill everyone in the zone which made everyone in the zone even more paranoid and trigger happy

and then they murdered like 2 kids when i was walking my dog really late (i think at like 1) and there were like 20 fucking gunshots, a crash, and then more gunshots

crazy shit

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A friend (32M) was complaining to me (33F) that he is lonely, depressed and not having success with dating apps. He has a 10 year old son. Problem is he won’t date single moms and does not want any more children. So he’s looking for a partner who will help raise his kid (who has behavioral issues), tolerate his wildly unstable baby mom, not have kids of their own from a previous relationship, and not want their own bio children with him

I actually warned him about his child’s mother because she also went to high school with us. We were friends until I realized how terrible she was. Her at the time boyfriend was trying to end things with her so she lied about having cancer. She ended up moving to another state with him but he eventually (duh) realized she wasn’t actually dying of cancer and sent her packing. She pursued my friend about 6 months after that and he decided to ignore my warning. They were okay for awhile but when she sensed him losing interest she stopped taking her birth control without his knowledge in order to try to trap him. They got rush married and divorced about a year later. Biggest “I told you so” moment of my life. Not long after the divorce she found another guy and had a kid with him too and he is now the stepdad.

sip

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He probably claims to have "good pullout game", call it a hunch.

Someone dumb and definitely not local unless he lives in a big city, but it also depends on how bad the kid's issues are. That's going to be one of the major factors if someone stays or leaves, someone who likes kids might tough it out for several months or a few years, but someone on the fence isn't going to put up with an unruly child and they're gonna bounce. If the kid is unpredictable, violent, undisciplined and not getting proper care I give it a while before he eventually dumps the kid back on the mom and stepdad.

Anyone older will have to be a redflag to some degree to deal with that.

A more seasoned manipulator that's had time to perfect hiding their red flags, or a younger version of the ex that will have all of their red flags overlooked, until she stops taking her birth control pills or she pokes holes in the condoms. These guys date someone who is open to giving someone a chance of they keep dating carbon copies of their ex until they're finally too old to get attention.

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WHy not bring up the Faltering marriage and birthrates

Because this is irrelevant. We will simply import slave labor from the third world.

the detriorizing military

Our military can literally wipe out every single military on earth all at once if it came to it.

the obesity rates

Yeah when people are rich they eat a lot of food. It's not a sign of a failing country. You know who had really low obesity rates? Afghanistan, because all of these right wing morons are too fucking stupid to feed themselves.

the national debt

lol

lmao I might even say. I don't know nor even care to explain (very basic, freshman level) fiscal policy to someone concerned of "muh national debt"

the fact that Countries are going to have to keep pushing my social security

If you are going to be relying on social security that is pathetic, stop being poor, you should have enough in your 401k that SS is completely irrelevant to you
Social security isn't failing, nor will it be pushed back

the increasing median age

Yeah this is a problem, old people suck. It's not going to end the fucking nation though.

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I’ve tried to reply to the thread “why feminists date non feminist men”, but I’m still banned in that subreddit. So I’ll post it here. The OP also claimed that you’re either a feminist or a misogynist.

Although I get the rhetoric “if you believe women should have rights, you’re a feminist”, I don’t think it’s true. Feminism is a specific social and political movement and one can believe than men and women are equal without subscribing to it. A person isn’t a misogynist, if they aren’t feminism. Black and white thinking doesn’t help when we’re talking about complex social concepts and applied to feminism it just radicalizes more people against it.

So a part of the answer to your question is that there are men who aren’t feminists and who still do believe and treat women as equals.

Feminists who stay with bad partners have all the same reasons people in general do it. Sunk cost, dependency, co-dependency, kids, their partner doesn’t suck that much, a fear of loneliness etc.

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Me: I believe most women on average would prefer a wealthier partner.

Her: we can’t say that women on average prefer wealthier men. Women aren’t a monolith.

Me: sure, SOME women don’t care about wealth. You’re right. But on average, most women would prefer to pick a man who’s wealthier than a man who isn’t, all else being equal.

Her: again, we can’t say general assertions about populations at large. It’s not fair.

Me: okay, are most rapists and murderers likely to be men?

Her: YES, of course. The data show it. Look it up.

how convenient; she is to eager to accept a broad truism about the rapist and murderer population at large when it’s men

Me: cites a study showing that women tend to prefer men with wealth potential

Her: SEE? Women don’t care about wealth because they are okay with men who aren’t already wealthy. They only care about men who they believe WILL become wealthy.

………..

Folks, you cannot make this shit up. Eager to make broad assumptions about men when it’s a negative thing, but unilaterally rejects broad assumptions about women when it’s not even a negative value judgment against them (women preferring wealthier men makes sense; ofc they would and arguably should).

Modern feminism. Women can never do anything wrong. But men do everything wrong.

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Ok now you’re being clearer and I fully understand your point finally. I said that last part and I still stand believe it.

I believe with modern feminism, there is a cultural tone that is more willing to acknowledge and actively point out negative things about men: how they commit crimes, how they are rapists, how they are oppressing women, how they are creeps for preferring younger, less experienced women, etc.

And I simultaneously believe modern feminists are unwilling to acknowledge and actively point out the things about women that are less than flattering. For instance, the hyper fixation on height by some women, the strong preference for wealthy men by some women, etc.

They simply don’t want to point out the gentle, inconvenient truths about female nature while they’re happy to point out those of men. I even have feminist friends who say that one of the problems with modern feminists is that they don’t like to point out the not so great things women do.

And I think this exchange with this poster was the perfect demonstration of that, albeit with a singular data point.

It shouldn’t be controversial at ALL to assert that on average, women would likely prefer to mate with a wealthier partner. There are studies that even validate this mate selection preference amongst women.

But because there is such a societal backlash against gold diggers, this poster doesn’t want to accept that some members of her sex might prefer wealthier men, even in the face of data that proves it out.

Yet she’s eager to hop on to the data that show most rapists and murderers are men and accept that assertion without question.

Both scenarios are principally sound in that we’re asserting beliefs substantiated with data. But in one instance she discards the data and in the other, she wholly embraces it.

That’s my point.

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Yet, they still pull

What does this mean? They still get attention/dates/relationships because the market isn’t as individualistic as even RP people make it seem? Men are willing to overlook a lot just to get their dick wet? Is this what you’re saying?

Using overweight women as examples for ugly women does not work here

Why does it not work? Men have sex with women they don’t like. Men have sex with women they find “unattractive”. (Attractive enough for sex, not attractive enough for a relationship. And you have to ask both parties if they are in a relationship, not just the woman. The answers might differ as we know).

I don’t think a person being ugly or unattractive works the same for men as it does for women. If a woman finds a guy unattractive, she avoids him like the plague. If a guy finds a woman unattractive, she can still be fucked in the right circumstances such as desperation and alcohol

This is just the result of men being horny which works in women’s favor. That’s why you can take a 5 guy and a 5 woman and they could have very different dating and relationship experiences with everything else being equal.

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I actually sort of agree

BASED.

looks are subjective

now that you agree, let’s shatter this idea. We have studies showing what physique and heights woman prefer, generally speaking you have to be jacked AND lean to be seen as attractive. Not only that but you have to be above average height typically.

In terms of facial attractiveness, we have studies showing what features woman prefer, and generally they are pretty set in stone for the vast majority of women.

Male beauty for women is BARELY subjective and mostly objective for the vast majority of woman. tl;dr women prefer different types of chads aka different top 20% men.

For a SUPER small minority of women, their tastes are somewhat unconventional, but this difference is not varied enough nor is it prevalent enough to account for all bottom 80% men.

Here are some of the studies on physique, height and face:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1364661305003207

https://ink.library.smu.edu.sg/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2727&context=soss_research

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1994-44767-001

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886913000020

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/147470490900700310?icid=int.sj-related-articles.similar-articles.45#articleCitationDownloadContainer

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rspb.2017.1819#d3e552

https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.03.06.980896v1.full.pdf

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I think that’s even more of a reason to feel like women can be attracted to non-Chads… Chads are a small minority. I think most women realize this, or at least the ones in my circle do. Doesn’t mean that a woman settles for a non-Chad but that her taste in men are just varied.

To be fair, I totally get the sentiment and understand how you feel as I feel similar sometimes about features that are found widely attractive that I don’t possess. It’s certainly easy to question yourself or if someone is actually into you. And since you want to mention that OKC stupid, that same study showed that while men found more women more physically attractive than the other way around, men were widely only swiping right on very attractive women and not average women. So everything you’re saying could certainly be used the other way around by women who feel like men are only settling for them because super hot women don’t want them. See how this can be a damaging cycle?

[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

chads a minority just means MANY women don’t feel attracted sexually to their spouses at all which can put great strain on their relationship when they don’t have to have sex and their man does.

As for the point about the OKC study, back then OLD was more balanced and average men had a chance so yeah they shot their shot with the hottest cause they could and they might’ve had a chance back then. Times are different now though. Doesn’t change the fact that women find 20% of men above average whereas men are still more varied in their tastes. Sure there is somewhat a general consensus among men but it’s nowhere near as strong or prevalent as it is among women.

EDIT: I appreciate the kind thoughts. Really though I try to remain emotionally neutral here. I have no personal opinions on woman’s preferences or the dating scene. I just try and be honest and realistic. If it makes you feel any better about your perceived “flaws” just know men tend to be varied about their tastes so you should be fine regardless.

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Dude what? You’re not even trying to be realistic right now. We could say the same thing about men and their unrealistic physical standards in women that’s now overly enforced by porn, leading many men to develop addictions, to the point where they’re not even sexually attracted to regular women and can’t get it up. Porn addiction is the fastest rising addiction around the world right now might I add. And obviously women who look this way are a minority.

Point stands that when men have the opportunity to, they pick women out of their league over women in their league. So are they settling when they’re with an average woman in their league? Your “times are different” comment suggests that that statement is true. So since men are settling, can they truly be sexually attracted to their partners? And why is it different when women do the same thing?

[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I am being very realistic. I think my world view is just dramatically different and you’ve never seen these facts before so it seems super foreign and weird.

Men don’t have unrealistic standards. Again, 50% of women are above average. Ratings in women by men suggest they tend to have quite a bit of variety.

Porn sickness is a different thing, we are attractiveness ratings among the genders. The difference there is men get used to stimulating themselves to a screen. Most normal men of course prefer an actual woman, who can look like many things since men have varied tastes generally.

The difference again is how men and women rate eachother. Sure if men could go for the hottest they would 100%. But that looks very different for different men. Getting the hottest for women looks the same for a bunch of women. Again: men have varied tastes.

Also remember that many men rate many women as above average, so while they would prefer the hottest they still find MANY women attractive. Women want chad or they really don’t want anything in terms of sexual attraction.

Again, I hope I’m not offending you. I’m not trying to sound offensive. Just sharing what I’ve learned. I’m not judging anyone for how they act, we all have freedom and we all should exercise it.

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a40078227/how-often-do-married-couples-have-sex/

Married couples have sex once a week. Literally just 50 times a year. Again, duty sex.

According to Mayo Clinic ED becomes a prevalent issues between the ages of 40-70

https://www.clevelandclinicmeded.com/medicalpubs/diseasemanagement/endocrinology/erectile-dysfunction/

However viagra works for a little over 2/3 of those men with still other options being available (typically hormonal in nature)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1476025/

I did answer those questions though. Men find many different woman above average, so even if they don’t get “the best” they still find many women attractive. Whereas for women it’s chad only according to the data. Remember only the top 20%. Men are more varied.

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/what-to-know-how-often-married-couples-have-sex

Okay I found a more recent article about the topic. Just because the frequency of sex isn’t what you would desire in a relationship doesn’t mean you can label it “duty sex”. Everyone has different libidos and needs. I want to mention that many dead bedroom situations are because of the men not fulfilling the woman’s needs. That’s evident within a few swipes on the dead bedroom sub.

ED starting at 40 is pretty young and that age has only decreased as porn addiction is becoming more prevalent. Viagra does help but we already know most women don’t find needing to take drugs to get it up attractive or desirable. This can definitely derail a woman”s sexual attraction to a man.

Again, would you say that those men are settling since they can’t get the super hot women they want? Most men may find many women attractive but in terms of what they find most attractive, most men have similar preferences to each other just like women do with men.

But most women don’t end up with Chads and are having relationships with non Chads, and you consider them to be settling despite women saying that while they might find Chad traits widely attractive, they can also find non Chad traits attractive too. So why do you have a double standard?

Are men TOTALLY sexually attracted to women who are not the super hot women most of you desire?

[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

https://www.verywellhealth.com/more-sex-for-older-adults-2224254

According to this website libido increases for women in their 30s. Why would sex frequency drop in relationships when compared women when younger? Sounds like their giving duty sex. If they wanted more sex from their partner they would have it, and they should considering their increased libido.

Why would taking drugs matter to the woman in the relationship? Especially if the ED has nothing to do with her and it’s been diagnosed already.

The men are not settling since they still find the women pretty attractive. As opposed to only 20% of men meeting that threshold. Again, men are much more varied in their tastes as we see in the OKC and similar studies.

Again this is no double standard. This is simple biology. Women seem to be wired to want the best and only truly desire the best. We find this is what women find attractive, and how many men meet than threshold of attractiveness.

As for the last point remember that general trends for attraction are more prevalent for women than men. Men are still more varied. Also it’s a threshold and more women meet it for men than men do for women. Sure there are levels beyond that but they are irrelevant. It is all about being able to sexually desire your partner, men can do that for many women but few men can really get a woman going.

[–]HighlyFlashy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Again, kids and unequal distribution of responsibilities. Hard to have sex when you’re constantly exhausted and your sexual attraction to your partner is declining because they’re getting too complacent.

Women don’t find men who take ED drugs attractive which is why most men hide the fact they’re taking it. The men are embarrassed and so are the women.

Okay and once again, women can still find a man attractive if he’s not a Chad so they’re not settling either. Not sure why that’s so difficult to grasp for you. You can’t say men aren’t settling when they date average women, when that same stat showed that men were only chasing after the most attractive women since they felt those women were attainable to them. But then hold the believe that any woman who isn’t with a Chad is settling though women are doing the same thing men are doing: being with people they find attractive enough to commit to though these guys might not be most attractive to them. The double standard here is mind boggling.

[–]fatsackguy471 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

According to pew in couples where both partners work full time in about 30% do women do more. So only 30% of partners where they are both working full time.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/11/04/raising-kids-and-running-a-household-how-working-parents-share-the-load/#who-does-more

Let’s not forget married men tend to work more hours though. Even when both parties are employed

And the ED thing is again generally something at an older age, and is typically resolved by meds. The man would likely fix it on his own anyway, not like he would want to tell his partner about it. As you mentioned it’s embarrassing.

women can find non chad men attractive

Very few can.

Also it’s pretty easy to get. Men find many women attractive not just the hottest women, women find only the hottest men attractive generally. Yes both go after the hottest when they can but men can find many women attractive including not the hottest women whereas for women it’s chad or nothing typically in terms of what they find actually sexually attractive. We see this in the ratings of men and women by the other gender.

TL;DR both genders chase the hottest on the apps in the study, but men can find less attractive women sexually attractive.

There is no double standard this is the science of attraction.

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Was she married? Did she have kids? Did she bat out of her league?

And funny how women as a whole get shat on on the regular but then when it’s finally directed towards men for once i get the “well actually, everyone sucks too” treatment

I happen to get laid, so don't put me into the incel whine bag.

Its also not an argument to say "Men do this, they suck, they are horrible blah blah" then when I call out women for being equally shitty, its "And funny how women as a whole.. blah blah".

Thats right up there with "no you!" as an argument. People are shits when they can be. Society now gives MORE room to be shitty so people are being shittier who fit that mold.

The main reason most people who aren't shitty, aren't shitty, isn't because they are good people, they just don't have the options and ability to get away with it.

Morality is easy when its also your best long term option. This is perhaps the biggest breakdown in society right now, and while I personally like the "you don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you" mindset on how we live our lives, in reality most people are too self centered to handle that, and too short sighted to succeed without society via shame, family, religion, community ties, etc keeping them from releasing their inner shittiness.

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You've taken facts and painted a different narrative. Bride price, dowry and mahr happen. The bride price is to compensate u future labour to make sure that the family is fine. That's a system that could be abused by the family to sell off their daughters but also it's a system where the wife is requiring her husband to compensate her family. It can go either way. You haven't really explained how the dowry is about ownership? Are the family paying the husband to get rid of the daughter? It's a weird system anyways. Mahr is when the husband gives the bride money that keeps separate and for herself. It's an Islamic tradition that's done in a lot of those orange countries that the author refused to acknowledge. The map recognises that it's given to the bride or the bride's family but the author doesn't

You're saying ownership but what you linked doesn't include the word "ownership" once

[–]liefelijk1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

One way of differentiating between a gift and a purchase is whether the exchange would still happen without money involved. Or if the marriage were to end or not move forward, whether either family would expect the money returned.

Dowries, like mahr, are tied to the bride. If the husband casts her off, the dowry goes with her. This was set up to incentivize the husband to treat the wife well, since in losing her he would also lose her possessions. Similarly, when marriages using bride price ended in divorce or early death, the husband could historically expect a refund.

But ultimately, the biggest tell that historical marriage was about ownership was patrilocality, the tendency for women to move close to the husband’s extended family, rather than the reverse. In many situations (both historically and in many cultures today) the wife would move into the husband’s family home. It’s much more rare for that to happen in reverse, and when it does, the husband becomes the object of scorn. Historical marriage wasn’t about gaining a son; it was about losing a daughter or bringing a new woman into your family. That’s one major reason why boys were favored over girlss. Girls were no longer part of your family after marriage.

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Funny dating app match story:

Matched with a 32 yo woman. She was messaging LONG paragraphs of text. Indicated strong interest. She told me she had a fantastic weekend watching the sunrise with a good friend after going to a music concert. The way she described it made it sound like it was a good girlfriend of hers.

Fast forward to me asking her out for drinks. She said she doesn’t do low effort dates like that and is tired of men being lazy. I told her drinks as a first date is very very very common and the cultural norm in our city. We got into an argument over this.

She then got mad and said she’d rather date men like the “friend” who took her out to a concert and walked the beach with to watch the sun rise. Because that was effort.

So yeah, the “friend” she referred to regarding her weekend was actually a guy who took her out on a date. And apparently it was so magical and special and high effort from his end. Yet, here she was, fewer than 24 hours after said date, on the dating apps and messaging men like me to go on more dates.

What a joke. Unmatched with her.

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Has anyone else noticed a loose, negative correlation between a) the level of physical attractiveness a woman has and b) the odds she will be a raging feminist?

It makes reasonable sense, too. Attractive women stand to benefit the most from conservative and traditional values. They’re more likely to know they’re attractive and benefit from men with money, resources, and attention. Why would they want to go 50/50 on a date when a man will simply fly them out to get Omakase at a Michelin star restaurant in LA?

Anecdotal, but the most progressive, liberal, feminist friends I have are overweight and facially unappealing. They’re kind people and very intelligent and I enjoy their company. But they tend to struggle in the dating department because alas, men are shallow creatures and date for looks for the most part, if they can.

I wonder if this is why there’s a stereotype that bleeding heart liberal women are overweight, unattractive, and have blue hair.

Edit: I think it’s more of a phenomenon with social media, too. Lots of women want to live that glamorous lifestyle. So the super attractive women stand to benefit the most from being traditionally feminine and getting men to snatch them up.

Edit 2: I also notice that conservative women tend to be dumber and less educated. These super attractive women tend to go into beauty related fields like Estheticians or female dominated medical fields like nursing.

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Objectifying is not considering that the other person has a personality and feelings.

So for example when someone catcalls they are objectifying you because the catcaller doesn't care how you feel about their comments. They don't care, they just want to say it and laugh with their friends.

Another example would be when people don't respect certain people because they are hot. Their only value is being hot, they only serve as a pretty object. Imagine a model or a movie star trying to speak seriously on an interview and being mocked instead.

Having preferences doesn't mean you are objectifying people bc you are supposed to get to know them and respect them as people

he loved dating black women because xyz

I wouldn't say this is objectifying. I'd say this is racial fetishizing. Because what you like about the person is the racial stereotypes, not the actual person.

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That sort of makes sense? They recruited initially for a campaign where they were expecting Ukrainians to welcome them with open arms as the same race and culture. We saw the coverage of the captured prisoners...pretty much all white boys. Then hundreds of thousands of young men fled Russia to avoid possible conscription...those guys would have been mostly ones who had lost friends etc, ones with well paid urban jobs or remote tech work and money behind them, ones who felt the imminence of war right on their doorstep. Those would have skewed to white too, probably to being urban as well.

It makes sense that further conscription will have to skew Asian and rural. To places not already cleared out.

There's going to be another wave of young men fleeing.

I'm not saying there isn't a racial engineering motivation too...just that there's some sense to this that relates to who's left now.

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Looking at how/which women's comments are upvoted always makes for a fun exercise. Honestly the reason a lot of people feel "lied to by muh feminism and muh women" is because men UPVOTE WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR.

Male Redditor asks "Is appeance really that important" and all the women reply "Uh yea , no shit". However we have one lone comment a brave warrior who says "My husband is 800 pounds 3'6 and is slowly turning into a worm similar to Dune and I love him very much" and that will be the comment with 3000 upvotes, multiple gold's, and people praising it as "This is what women actually think, don't worry guys!"
Cold approaches. Most people don't like being bothered randomly in the grocery store. But if you ask Reddit all the 50 women who chime in and say "don't" are going to be sitting at the very bottom while the one who says "Yes please, shoot ur shot u awkward loser u" is going to have a shitload of upvotes.

Women are fairly fucking honest, just like dudes are generally, but what gets upvoted is not what women think, it's what Redditors want to believe, which makes people think "Oh women are lying" when what Redditors believe does not line up to reality.

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Becoming top 20% in looks before you start dating is the best thing a man could do. It’s the best dating strategy hands down no question.

If you become a male model look alike, it doesn’t matter how long you wait your always going to be desired by a disproportionately large % of women aka basically all of them

Even if you don’t get there and you get close then maybe you can have some real success.

If you don’t get anywhere close to chad looks then you were fucked anyway when it comes to dating.

Waiting several years or even a decade to date so you can looksmaxx to become chad >>>> dating right away as an average man since virtually no women actually sexually desire an average man. Dating as an average man means your basically always losing so you might as well try and become chad so you can actually be desired as opposed to just ending up in some BB relationship where your wife sees you as a good friend.

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The average male laps the average woman in every dark triad characteristic then they wonder why women are the ones who initiate divorce.

Males more selfish than women - https://www.vice.com/en/article/ne7gdb/its-confirmed-women-are-higher-beings

Males lie more than women - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35391990/

Males more narcissistic than women -https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/03/150304104040.htm

Males are less forgiving than women - https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080303145228.htm

Can you imagine your dating pool is full of people who have the tendency to be more narcissistic than you, more selfish than you, they lie more than you? They lie like the breathe too so have fun separating the genuine males from depraved ones. These are people women have to pick from.

The “women are wonderful” effect isn’t a trick of the light. It’s really because the average woman is biologically more altruistic than the average male.

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It's like when Christians claim atheists don't know anything about Christianity. In reality, most atheists know WAYYYY more about Christianity than most Christians.

I think its easy because knowable atheists tend to respect religion at a level and aren't dicks online saying things like "Oh you worship the skydaddy?!"

As a near lifelong atheist (started at 8, rejected the idea of religion based on my own observations, nothing dramatic), I still understand "why" there is religion and respect people who believe.

Now compare that to /r/atheism average posters, at least last time I looked which was tbf quite a long time ago.

Theists are more likely to see some troll comment from those types rather than a proper deep discussion, because in their mind there is nothing to discuss, god is real etc etc.

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It’s a reasonable insecurity to have. What man wants to compete like that?

Imagine you met a man and you dated for months. He’s quite the catch in most aspects but he’s not super romantic in the way you want or like. Let’s say he never treats you to dates, never buys you flowers, never tries to woo you, etc. and let’s just assume that’s the type of romance you like.

Then you scroll through his IG and see old pics of him with his exes. He’s clearly been super romantic with them, buying them bouquets of flowers, setting up fancy dates, etc.

You feel jealous. Wait, why was he so eager and happy to do those things for HER but not for ME?

And you bring it up to him. And he says, “what? Are you insecure?”

Men and women are insecure about different things in different ways.

It’s not great that women weaponize this to shame men for their standards and preferences.

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We men are known to have big egos. And a lot of women know some men have inflated egos. And that deflating egos is a way to put us in our spot.

Women also tend to be incredibly insecure in specific areas of their lives, but most often around looks. You’d be shocked at how hyper specific they can be in developing an insecurity: why do I have stretch marks on my chest when I’m relatively flat chested, why is my nose bridge XYZ, why is my left tit smaller than my right tit, why doesn’t this dress fit me the same way 2 years ago, why don’t I have a job that pays as well as Stacy, why is my hair so frizzy, why isn’t my butt more round, why are other girls so effortlessly charming, why do all the boys like her and not me, etc.

And it’s worse the younger they are.

So when a guy says or does something that they don’t agree with, one of the first things they do is try to shame you by calling you insecure. Because they are insecure, too.

EVERYONE has insecurities. When people lobb that insult, it’s laughable because it implies they themselves have none.

Learn to realize what it is: an attempt to cut you down because they don’t like what you said or did. And ignore it. Their words are powerless when you see the intent behind it. Why give them that power?

Be unbothered. Own it. That will disarm them.

Say “Yeah, I am insecure about it. So what?” In a super non chalant, I really don’t care attitude and they’ll have nothing to say.

At that point they’ll probably just shut down and be like “well I guess that’s your problem then” and not know how to actually deconstruct why you said or did XYZ.

The point isn’t to understand for them. The point is to shame.

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Ok cool, so you’re very educated and accomplished. You’re also old enough to not be immature. You should be capable of using logic and rationality when discussing nuanced points. These are my assumptions.

I’m sure your family and friends celebrated you for making it into an oncology program. I’m assuming you studied hard and made personal sacrifices to achieve this. I’m assuming the program you made it into wasn’t as simple as saying I want to go and they accepted you. I’m assuming you had to compete against peers for a limited number of spots. And you made it in. That’s no easy feat! You should be proud of that.

Why can’t we accept that this is sort of like sex for men? Men cannot easily get sex. Yes, there are so many bitter men who are jealous about how easily women can get laid. Let’s discard those men for a second.

Let’s focus on the simplest principle at hand: men who can routinely have sex with appealing women are looked up to because it’s NOT easy. Just like you can’t just waltz up to an oncology program as an uneducated bum and get accepted, a man can’t just walk up to an attractive woman and get sex right then and there.

But you know who can walk up to an attractive man and get sex right then and there (quite literally, same day)? An attractive woman.

It’s very simple. It’s not controversial.

This is why society gases up men who are casanovas and why society does not gas up promiscuous women.

This is why society gases up women who eat clean diets, go to the gym, maintains a fit body, and puts in work. Because it’s not easy. And this is why society does not celebrate the bodies of fat, lazy slobs who refuse to diet and work out (barring any mental or physical health ailments).

I don’t understand why this is so hard to accept. It’s a double standard, yes. But it’s one of the few that benefits men.

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There is no logic and rationality when trying to portay men as being better for doing the same thing a woman does. Also the hipocrisy in not taking into account that the negative consequences (such as being more prone to cheating or more prone to experiment with different substances or higher impulsivity) are found in promiscuous and hypersexual individuals of both genders.

Lots of promiscuous men are just dudes that won the genetic lottery and have good features. So they should be gassed for…being born with an attractive face? Or for being tall? Hell no.

The point is that ‘male promiscuity good female promiscuity bad’ is far from a nuanced take. It’s just an old double standard that lots of people today question and reject for good reasons.

By using the same faulty logic you displayed we could excuse female cheating as being understandable compared to men cheating. But we don’t do that because it’s about the actions, not the projected backstory behind them.

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Cheating is a horrible example to use here and I’m honestly very surprised you’re using this as someone who’s smart enough to get into an oncology resident program.

Cheating is immoral and wrong and it hurts the cheater’s partner.

Single casanovas sleeping around with consensual partners does not hurt anyone they have an existing social contract with. Because they’re single.

Using your logic, we should excuse someone from murder if they shoot someone in the head because it’s easier vs someone who murders someone by carving them up with a bonesaw over several hours and exerting tons of effort.

You can’t compare single men sleeping around against women in relationships. They are fundamentally different. You see this, yes?

The better analogy is to use men and women who compete for the same thing but get treated differently for the results. This could be something like competing against each other in a weight lifting completion. Or competing against each other in a competition over who can read social situations more accurately.

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Your rationale doesn’t hold up. Cheating is a breach of contract. The amount of effort that goes into it to be a cheater is irrelevant. Murder is illegal. The amount of effort that goes into murdering someone is irrelevant. It’s the outcome that matters - not the effort. Your logic simply does not hold up.

You’re also conflating whether something is immoral or not with whether something is celebrated or not.

A woman who bench presses 350 pounds is a much bigger accomplishment than a man who bench presses 350 pounds. Why? Because it’s harder for her to do so. There’s no morality involved here. It’s just a competition of talents and strengths.

A woman who cheats on her partner is simply that: an immoral cheater. Whether some celebrity landed on her lap vs whether she intentionally planned out who she was going to cheat with on what day is irrelevant. She cheated.

Make it make sense.

Cheating is not an accomplishment society rewards people for. Why do you keep using this as your hill to die on?

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Make it make sense. When it’s convenient to you-the effort matters, that’s why a promiscous man is cool. When it’s not convenient to your argument, cheating is just a breach of contract and the effort suddenly doesn’t matter. It’s not impressive that a woman has to put in more effort to reiman faithful.

As I said, your logic is a wet tissue and very flexible depending on wether the context is favourable to your point or not. You still didn’t adress why a man that was born attractive has to be celelbrated for winning the genetic lottery and exercising the leverage he got by that while an attractive woman isn’t judged by the same standards.

edit-also if you are so set on by how moral things are-do you think being a faithful woman is more worthy of praise than being a faithful man? if the answer is no, it’s going to be comical

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You’re continuing to ignore the specific parameter of ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

Accomplishments are DESIRABLE THINGS people strive towards and put effort into.

Cheating is not a DESIRABLE THING that people strive towards and put effort into.

This is a multivariate analysis and you’re cherry picking the singular Effort variable to use that and explain away literally everything else in society.

Using your logic of using EFFORT only, should we celebrate murderers who spend hours carving up a body vs murderers who shoot people in the head in 2 seconds?

Answer that specific question. You won’t. You’re going to cut and run. I know it.

Edit: and I did answer your question about the attractive man because I previously said the same 10/10 attractive man will get laps run around him by a 10/10 woman.

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

He was the superior athlete because he’s a man and has a biological advantage.

Youre misinterpreting the word “recognize.” No duh they recognized that he won in the sense they acknowledged the objective reality that his score was higher than hers.

But no one was going around saying omg omg omg he beat the Williams sisters, he’s so amazing, he’s such an accomplished athlete, we cannot BELIEVE he won.

When you win a championship game after beating out everyone else in your class, people hype you up because you are the best of the best.

No one was hyping up Karsten for being some amazing athlete. Just like no one would laud an adult professional soccer player for crushing pre teen kids. Because it’s unfair. Just like how no one would hype up Lebron James for being a superior athlete if he were to beat a 15 year old kid. Because he has a distinct advantage. Just like how no one would celebrate Tom Hanks for having better acting chops than a first year acting school student. Because he has way more years of experience and natural talent.

I don’t understand how you don’t see this nuance? The act of recognizing Karsten won because his score was higher is NOT THE SAME as giving him praise for an amazing accomplishment. No one is celebrating Karsten for beating the sisters. Because it wasn’t impressive. No shit he was going to win. He had a biological advantage.

You’re the one who unintentionally moved the goalposts by either willfully or unintentionally misdefining recognition.

Wow, like, wow. You’re being so confidently incorrect right now it’s mind blowing.

Dunning Krueger effect in full display.

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Incorrect about what dude? He won an unofficial game, people recognized that. Of course people won’t say he is such an acomplished athlete for winning ONE game. An acomolished athlete is someone that won a Grand Slam for example, we can’t change what the general perception about that is just to fit your ever moving goalposts.

Seriously what are you even arguing? You wrote a ridiculously long comment about nothing. You have a habit of misinterpreting everything people say and just pulling things out of your ass. Just like you made a different comment on this thread about our little argument and I realised in that moment you don’t even understand what I’m saying. Like you are so off topic sometimes I regret investing time going back and forth with someone that doesn’t even make an effort to understand.

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You say men have to go the extra mile to cheat while simultaneously saying “a woman has to resist more temptation” with the keyword being “more” so as to suggest it’s easier for her to cheat since she has to resist it whereas the man seeks it.

Ergo, if a woman cheats, it’s because it’s easier. And thus she should not be excused for it and if anything should be shit on more for it.

Can’t believe you don’t see the flaws in your own logic.

Just like the other guy, you’re gonna cut and run and say weak excuses that amount to “I’m done here”

You’re weak minded because you can’t admit you’re wrong. I’m always open to being proven wrong and admitting as such. I’ve done it numerous times on this forum.

But you’re like the rest of the weak minded posters who can’t ever ever ever ever ever admit you’re wrong.

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Our own biological imperatives would dictate to shit in the middle of the street when we feel like it. So instead of the appeal to nature fallacy, you can actually adress the point.

Sally cheats after resisting temptations multiple times. John cheats after downloading and paying for tinder, being rejected by multiple women, paying for onlyfans and camgirls and escorts after he finally meets a woman that would sleep with him. He didn’t have to resist any temptation coming his way, he invested a lot of time and money into it. So it’s actually worse that despite having lower chances he actively fought to get the chance to betray his partner. Why judge them by the same metric when you don’t do that when it comes to casual sex?

Not that I expect an actual answer from you because you just want to uphold a double standard because it benefits men. No matter how many pragraphs you write here it’s obvious for anyone it’s not abou logic, it’s about something that benefits men.

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Your critical error here is that you’re making Sally a passive participant who just has to let cheating happen to her. How convenient.

Cheating is a decision both parties have to make themselves, actively. Sally is not some innocent party here. No, she decided to cheat, and she did it easily.

And you can’t discount the biological factor. She’s going against her own natural instincts to cheat and does it easily. Easily way worse.

And the biological factor applies to the casual sex scenario too. Most women don’t really want to sleep around. Most men do.

So when men are able to sleep around a lot, they’re fulfilling their biological imperative. Women aren’t.

It’s consistent to factor in the biological piece in both scenarios. You can’t cherry pick when to and when not to just because it’s convenient for your argument.

[–]blueberrypie021 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I concede you didn’t say the word innocent but you’re implying her cheating is less worse.

And ofc she wants to cheat bc she cheated. That’s self evident. But she decided to cheat despite that not being her natural imperative.

And I’m being consistent with the passive component. She’s actively deciding to cheat in spite of the fact that’s not her biological hard wiring. How are those two points in conflict with each other? If anything it actively reinforces how much more of an active choice it is for her to cheat. She’s going out of her way to ignore her sexual strategy.

And your entire argument hinges on the assumption that she only has men seeking sex with her without considering that she’s just as likely to be seeking sex herself. You can’t ignore that at all as if it doesn’t exist as an option for her.

She’s just as likely to go on tinder like the man.

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If you compare the state of the world in the universe where your charity was real vs a scam, the differences relate to the homeless being fed and you benefitting.

If you compare the difference in the world between a guy getting a secret blowjob (as described) vs not getting that secret blow job, there is no difference whatsoever.

In fact there is no way to know if it even happened or not. Unless he truthfully reveals it himself.

Consider further that it could not even have happened and he could be accused of it.

Consider further that maybe it didn't happen and he falsifies a confession to harm his partner.

The fact is that in this situation, it's the partner believing it happened that causes the harm. Not whether or not he cheated, which is entirely irrelevant.

Your partner could be sucking a complete stranger's dick right now and you could never know.

Anyone might be dumped at any time. Whether a secret blowjob causes or prevents a breakup is not obvious.

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There is still risk though. Very rarely are people able to completely conceal the affair with 100% secrecy. And even then now you are living a lie with a partner that assumes you are faithful.

Furthermore men aren’t able to be tested for STDs like HPV which can cause long term symptoms in women and cause cancer. (Condoms are also not very effective at preventing the spread of HPV vs other STDs). It can take up to 3 months for HIV to even show up on a test and some permanent STDs aren’t even included in a full panel. And that’s just the medical side of things.

So in the case of cheating it’s essentially impossible to do so on a “closed course”. In a relationship somebody else will always be around and even though you may have a low chance of actually hitting them or causing harm, you’re still exposing them to risk without their consent.

[–]edgyny1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

HPV vaccines only account for 2-9 strands (depending on what vaccine you get). There are over 150 strands of HPV that can cause a variety of health problems. 14 if these are considered “high risk”. So no, vaccines do not protect against HPV completely. HPV is also highly prevalent. It’s the most common STI

What’s your point about not knowing what partner gave it to her?

My point is there is some risk with cheating. It’s impossible to 100% ensure that your partner is not put at risk. I think where we differ is I believe it’s immoral to put somebody at risk without their consent. You seem to think it’s only immoral if that risk actually results in harm. So two men cheat using sex workers but only one happens to get HPV and spread it to his wife then he’s the only one who did anything immoral.

[–]edgyny1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]edgyny1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sure, that's close enough. Either guy may have done other things that I consider immoral, but otherwise I'd say that's correct.

Edit: I forgot that our conversation didn't mention that I also believe cheaters are self-harming (I mentioned it in a different thread, but seem to have skipped it here). I consider self-harm to be a "moral sin" against yourself primarily, and not your partner. But people are free to choose self-harm.

Edit2: I don't know a lot about current pap smears/HPV but my understanding is that pap smears are testing for signs of malignant transformation. If transformation is found, then it is further investigated to identify the type of malignancy including whether HPV was involved because it can affect treatment options. You seem to be saying they test for HPV now, which may be the case but that is new to me. My memory is that HPV alone is not sufficient to cause malignancy. It's sort of one of two punches that are needed (similar to UV or radiation exposure, it increases future risk). So transformation happens many, many years after exposure (depending on predisposition). All that is to say that my understanding is a 45yo who is diagnosed with HPV-related malignancy detected on a pap smear may well have acquired the causative HPV at 17yo and will have had negative pap smears in the interim. So any definitive link to cheating isn't there.

Obviously, the STD risk profile of cheating will depend on the woman's N count and cheaters should factor that into their risk-of-harm assessment.

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These kinds of things hit harder when people see the ugliness of it. It's supposed to get people upset. "Daily in real life" as in cheer and dance industries doing exactly what you're so disgusted by in the movie.

Toddlers in Tiaras is an example of how television and media attention can cause people to actually care about issues that are happening in the world. There wasn't much backlash for the pageant industry until people started seeing how the children in it were actually being treated. It's visceral, in your face, and all over the media, so the reaction is stronger.

I agree that the ethics of the creation of the movie is questionable, seeing as even though the girls where made aware of what they were to do and what the message and purpose was, and agreed to do it understanding of the risks and ramifications (to the best of their abilities), they were still minors when they agreed to it. But the purpose of the film was not to exploit children, it was quite the opposite.

What upsets me is the hypocrisy of people who are enraged by the film's existence, yet don't have anything to say about the problems the film is addressing. I see much more social media backlash about this one film, than the entire child dance industry.

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Yeah. I worked in high finance, high arts, and big tech.

High finance: male dommed. Bro’y. Lots of sexual harassment. Dominant antagonizing. The professional exclusion starts to happens if you’re not like the above and don’t want to bond over golf and gentleman’s clubs to talk crudely about fucking bitches.

High arts: female and femme-coded dommed. Dominant antagonizing but more passive aggressive and plausible deniability applied. The professional exclusion starts happens if you don’t meet their standard and if you don’t want to politic with them over drinks, brunch, pedis, invite only art exhibits, or Pilates.

Big Tech: male and autist-coded dommed. Social awkwardness and not picking up on subtext dominates and tends to lead to miscommunications in social interactions at work and also actual work projects. The exclusion tends to happen for similar reasons as above. The coders do their own thing socially if at all. The non-coders (product managers, sales, strategy, operations, research & insights, etc.) do their own social things. Relationships and bonds develop in those two silos. Leads to more miscommunications at work.

Anyway all of these can be navigated. But you have to know who you’re working with and their personality/comms style. And make some tradeoff decisions. If you’re a person who hates golf, but wants to know more about a project at work. Maybe go. If you typically hate brunches and art shows, but know everyone else above you does… maybe go. Get the tea.

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Okay maybe but the problem is specifically people aren't attracted to me, not that they don't want to be my friend. If it was the way I socialized I wouldn't have women hitting me up, even after I asked them out, to hang out.

Which happened often enough in college.

And notice how even all of your language is crouched. It's not "You are attractive" it's "You look fine".

In order to date you have to attract someone you can't look "fine" to someone. And there's nobody, anywhere, in the world whose going to look at my picture and go "You look good. I want to date you. I think you are attractive". WE both know that would never happen, anywhere.

And we have experimental data to prove it after getting like over 1000 comments on different subreddits and posts not once has anyone said "I think you're attractive".

It's always "You don't look as bad as you think".

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That’s silly. I think you have some other issues to work through in addition to the grooming ones.

You saying you think everyone thinks you are a pig, so you’d rather “dress the part”? That’s not the right attitude if you actually want to improve yourself. You have to see the end goal, and work towards it slowly. It can include braces and plastic surgery if you want that, start saving up. But no reason to skip the other steps just because those take time.

And you really aren’t as bad as you are saying. Lose weight, get skin care, it will be more improvements and it adds up! It’s not lipstick, these are literally things making you less attractive than you could be. Progressive improvements that don’t yet meet your ideal don’t mean they aren’t improvements that will have a noticeable effect.

You see yourself as a pig, but I don’t. But if you act like one because that’s what you think of yourself, others will see you as one too.

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It's probably pulled from multiple sources among different demographics of women. Most of the studies detail unmarried and childless women specifically. They don't clarify whether or not these women still have a boyfriend. To me it seems like they're using unmarried as the definition of single. Here are some of the examples.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-many-single-women-without-children-are-so-happy

There are also many studies and opinion pieces (mainly regarding seniors) that women are happier living alone.

https://www.stalbertgazette.com/lifestyle/many-older-women-happy-with-the-single-life-2090919

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-why-women-over-65-are-going-it-alone/

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To remind him that

Women also come in different shapes in sizes, and women who do kegels, have sex, or masturbate have tighter, firmer, fuller muscles down there to grip him with
Up to one out of four women suffer from vaginismus and can only have pleasurable sex with someone who is "average" or "below average".
More than 80% of women cannot orgasm from penetration alone and often clitoral stimulation is the key to good sex, not a big dick
They can build what they have by not letting it atrophy (no fap literally causes your dick muscles to begin to shrink and atrophy), so use it or lose it
In many cases if they are overweight, losing 20 lbs can add an inch to that dick, and regular exercise and a healthy body weight often increases blood flow enabling a longer, harder erection
Most women who know how to have orgasms can get themselves off with one small finger even though vibrators and dildos are popular as well

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Yeah that’s the part that makes me laugh. It’s also funny how a lot of their stereotypes about women and how women date are based on the patterns of women who are extremely attractive and therefore, have a lot of options and standards for who they date. Average and below average women typically don’t fit into these stereotypes they place all women in, but they don’t care about the dating lives and standards of those women because those aren’t the women they desire.

Men are always telling women to focus on personality and to just give them a chance regardless of their inability to meet a woman’s standards, but they would never do the same themselves when it comes to dating women. It’s all really laughable and why no woman should really care about the whining men are doing right now.

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Oh thank god, someone who gets it.

I’ve been debating with people here on why society finds it more impressive when a man is able to sleep with numerous women and why the opposite is not so impressive.

Women can get sex very easily. Men cannot. That’s why there is a double standard around men sleeping around and women sleeping around.

Whether that’s right or wrong is irrelevant. But the point stands: when you’re trying to obtain something, if it’s very hard for you to obtain, it stands to reason that it will be perceived as more impressive when you’re able to obtain it with ease when everyone else struggles with it.

No one’s going to celebrate LeBron James for scoring more points in a basketball game against a 15 year old kid.

And that’s why society doesn’t celebrate women who sleep around. It’s not an amazing accomplishment.

[–]Miserablemermaid2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I agree it’s not a competition. But it clearly explains why society perceives player men in a more positive light (have you seen all the Chad worship on this sub?) compared to a promiscuous woman.

Why do so many men want to be like a Chad and sleep with so many women? Because that’s what men want.

Does the average woman aspire to be promiscuous? No. Because it’s shamed.

Why is it shamed? Because there is a double standard against women for this. Is it unfair? Yes.

But is it understandable? YES.

And by understandable, I don’t mean “do you agree with it.” I mean, can you use logic to understand how and why people come to that point of view?

I unilaterally reject and abhor mass school shootings. But I UNDERSTAND why they happen: we have lax gun laws and we have a lot of troubled kids with emotional issues.

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for many obvious reasons.

the higher comparative average libido of the woman’s intended sexual prospects (debatable maybe, depending on who you talk to, but for this let’s say we all agree men have higher desire for sex)
supply and demand. more men on the market looking for a quick fuck at any given time (due to a combination of libido, as mentioned above, and societal shaming)
the fact that many men openly admit to being perfectly okay with having sex with someone even if they only find the woman moderately attractive (sometimes even unattractive)
dynamics on OLD say enough on their own

and more. the point i’ve seen you trying to make is that women have easier access to sex. this is a basic RP point that I agree is true. has the whole point of your day today on here been about women vs men cheating?

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Let me elaborate. You’re taking the public shaming part too literally as if I was referring to people vocally expressing shaming language and tactics against women for being promiscuous out in the open for all to see. That does happen for sure, but not often, because to do so would get you canceled by the liberal media. You’d get shat on and crucified by feminists.

So a lot of men would self censor and never publicly admit their preference for non-promiscuous women.

So, the reason why I intentionally added the “in private” part is because I’m acknowledging said cancel culture. And by promising someone they won’t be shamed for their beliefs, they’re more likely to tell the truth.

The point is I believe most men don’t want promiscuous women. To say so publicly would get you canceled. So to get to the bottom of the truth, you need to assure them they won’t get canceled.

In other words, “society shames promiscuous women” is a euphemism for “this is the preference that most men have regarding promiscuous women.”

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I never said your beliefs were nullified. I merely explained we were talking in different frames: you in personal anecdotes and me in the abstract.

Just because men aren’t actively asking about n counts doesn’t mean they don’t care about promiscuity. It just means they don’t want to ask about n counts. Why they don’t ask is a subject for another day.

N count is a quantification of promiscuity. You can still care about promiscuity without measuring the person’s n count. Just like you can’t know someone’s exact bank account balance but you can make inferences based on the car they drive and house they live in.

And my belief is most men are not attracted to women who demonstrate promiscuous behaviors for a future wife.

If a man was dating a woman and thought all was fine and dandy until she gets drunk one night and shares stories about getting gang banged by multiple dudes and having slept with 100 men, I will always place the bet that he would disqualify her from being wifey material.

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You’re dodging the question. You think I’m trying to catch you in some sort of weird gotcha.

What people end up with in their partners doesnt negate the existence of preferences that may go against what is found in said partners.

Why is it so hard to admit that on average, if women could pick between a taller and richer partner vs a shorter and poorer partner, they’d likely pick the former? Who WOULDN’T as a woman? It makes perfect sense why they would.

It’s no different than asking whether on average would someone prefer to marry someone kind or someone abhorrent?

Why do you keep trying to use anecdotal evidence to refute widely accepted truisms about the larger population at hand?

Would all men on average prefer to marry women? Or other men? Women, because most men are straight! Or would you say “Uh well there are SOME gay men out there!!!”

You’re so stubborn it’s crazy. This is not some gotcha yo. It’s just a simple set of questions. I’m not going to be like SEE WOMEN ARE GOLD DIGGING SUPERFICIAL DEMONS if you were to pick the real answer.

Just wow.

There are existing studies that already prove out these mate choice selection preferences and you’re refusing to acknowledge them because “people aren’t a monolith” ie I will never accept any general beliefs because there are always exceptions to the rule. Astonishing.

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You discarded Wikipedia as a source potential in general because anyone can edit it. Ergo, you consider Wikipedia to be an invalid source to use for information. Ergo, if you’ve ever looked up anything on Wikipedia and used what was written to form a belief or confirm a question, you’re a hypocrite for rejecting it. It doesn’t matter whether it was for a specific paper or if it was for a fleeting, inconsequential factoid you were merely curious about.

Second, wealth potential is a proxy for wealth. They want a man that could eventually become wealthy.

It just means they’re willing to accept a man who may not be wealthy TODAY but if she didn’t believe he would become wealthy TOMORROW, she wouldn’t want him.

The preference for men with resources remains intact. You’re just now hyperfixating on the time dimension of whether they’re wealthy already or going to become wealthy.

Try again.

[–]Feisty-Saturn1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Wikipedia has a great wealth of info especially if you are looking for a general information on something but no it shouldn’t be used as a source. Which I have never done. Just reading Wikipedia doesn’t make me a hypocrite. When I actually make an assertion on a debate forum I read more legitimate sources.

Wealth potential is not proxy to wealth. Wealth potential means that you think they could be wealthy meaning you’re willing to be with them while they are not, which indicated women are not targeting rich men. That directly goes against your initial assertion.

I am seeing a pattern In your comments thread with myself and other users where you don’t seem to actually be reading the sources you provide. I would tell you to try again but it’s pretty clear that you’re just not very good at this.

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I read the sources to the Wikipedia article before linking it and saw it linked to three separate research studies backing up my claim.

How can you with a straight face say that women seeking wealth potential is not an indication of women’s preferences for wealth in a mate?

Let’s use logic though because I’ll play ball with your hyper fixation on the “men who are wealthy right now” angle.

Most men are not wealthy. Therefore it’s reasonable to assume that most women aren’t constantly exposed to wealthy men. Thus why they screen for wealth potential. Because most men aren’t currently wealthy.

I’m using the same line of logic you used way earlier re: the promiscuity preference when you said “well, most men and women aren’t promiscuous, so we can’t say that men prefer non-promiscuous women.”

Except now I have a study that basically would be the equivalent of saying “most women aren’t promiscuous, but men would prefer to be with a woman who shows the potential to be chaste in the future.”

What now?

[–]Feisty-Saturn1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]12throw1234away341 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No duh they’re not the same. Someone who has $0 income today is not the same as someone who makes $50,000.

But the study is saying that if a woman believes a man might become wealthy, and let’s say, earn $500,000 a year eventually in the future, she would pick him.

Ergo, she cares about wealth. She’s just okay to delay gratification and attain it eventually.

And why is she okay to wait? Most likely because MOST MEN ARE NOT CURRENTLY WEALTHY. Most women don’t have an abundant supply of wealthy men to pick at their leisure.

If there was an equal population of rich and poor men and this study showed the same result: that the women were picking the poorer men with wealth potential, then I’d say you got me.

You’re digging your heels in on such a minor point that’s not even significant because it’s explained away by the mere fact that most men OR women aren’t already wealthy.

Nice try. Try again.

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They usually want a special friendship...and rarely care much about the gender of that friend...that special friendship is highly emotional and has lots of cuddles and hugs but no icky genital stuff. Think of like...two inseparable desexed cats raised from kittenhood together.

Cuddles, comfort, thinking of each other, telling each other everything, maybe buy a house together, maybe sleep in the same bed wearing pajamas of course. Make dinner together do the dishes together. Grand romantic gestures between each other maybe..."he loves roses so I turned the entire backyard into a rose garden with varieties that flower year round and we always have roses in the house" or "I wrote a song about going to the beach with her, let me bring out my guitar out and play it."

Grand romance, both giving and receiving... someone who really makes the effort to understand and for whom they can make that effort to understand...but no sex.

Often they are nonneurotypical and have sensory issues...they often like the deep body pressure hugbox style, have panic attacks at light touch. Might find physical arousal itself too intense and uncomfortable even without another person providing unpredictable additional physical stimulus.

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Yeah it is. You think I’m gonna stay in the US my whole life? Nah I’m buying properties in these emerging economies. Become wealthy. Now you got the ability to change things.

Reality is there’s no amount of guilt tripping folks who benefited from the system that’s gonna gain success. Only success that matters is actual success.

Toss in its hypocritical since everyone black or white is benefiting from the slavery of folks making the chips and clothing. So why get mad when in the same privileged position you did the same as those in a privileged position before you? You gonna give whatever recreations you get to the folks in the Congo mines that help make your iPhone?

Become millionaires. Become president. Become Governor. Change the laws.

Become the people who have the money to lobby changes.

Teaching people a depressive worldview (which pretend history just started only after European colonialism and ignores the times Mali, Ethiopia and so many African nations were at the top) isn’t gonna do anything but make folks suicidal.

Nah. Breaking peoples spirits and getting them mad at the system rather then using the rules of the game to win is useless.

[–]richard_golbes2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Reality is there’s no amount of guilt tripping folks who benefited from the system that’s gonna gain success. Only success that matters is actual success.

It's not "guilt-tripping" it's addressing fundamental and systemic inequalities in the system which actively hurt people. Was the Civil Rights movement "guilt-tripping"?

Become millionaires. Become president. Become Governor. Change the laws.

Black people are getting educations and becoming involved in academia and policy in order to change laws. CRT and the analysis of structural inequalities is part of this.

Teaching people a depressive worldview (which pretend history just started only after European colonialism and ignores the times Mali, Ethiopia and so many African nations were at the top) isn’t gonna do anything but make folks suicidal.

The "depressive worldview" is an accurate account of history. Nobody pretends that history before European colonialism didn't exist; it's just not as relevant for a discussion of why things are the way they are today.

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No, it's a clone not a twin.

Are you familiar with the Ship of Theseus?

Suppose you jerk off with your right hand. That's masturbating.

Then you cut off your right hand. Advanced medical technology regrows a new hand from the stump. Now when you jerk off with your right hand it's still masturbating.

Now you take your original right hand and grow a duplicate body for that hand. And then your original right hand gives you a hand job. It's still your own hand so how can that not be considered masturbating?

Now suppose your second body now gives you a blowjob. It's a body connected to your own hand so it's also masturbating.

But wait you say! That's not your own head!

Ok fine you now surgically swap heads between the bodies. Now your original head is getting throatfucked by your original dick which is the holy grail of masturbating.

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after speaking with men who are true 8x6 they seldom have trouble after foreplay. many of these men had dozens of partners. I imagine it’s too big for some small minority of women. However that doesn’t matter, since the woman probably won’t dump you for being too big even if it’s tough at first.

But even if she does dump you for being too big it doesn’t matter cuz you can often get laid just for being that big. You appeal heavily to the vast majority of women at that size, so even if some small minority of women find it genuinely too big it beats being something in the 6-7 inch range where it’s “alright” on average for women.

In other words, if your in the 6-7 inch range your partner has greater chances to experience decreased satisfaction than an 8 incher has of being told it’s “too big”.

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i know you said women and I’m a man but I don’t care anyway I’m in STEM and it’s pretty balanced in the sciences generally speaking but in the TEM it’s not so much. I think it’s improving slowly still.

I think in math shits pretty chill, but in the T and E there is some underlying hatred for women in the field. Lots of passive aggressiveness and talking down from what I have heard. Doesn’t make it impossible but harder for women for sure to break through. Dunno what to do though. League of legends players will continue to major in computer science and engineering so I’m stumped personally.

Doesn’t go away when you graduate either necessarily, cause of course then you work with these same people. Hopefully the conspiracy theorists are right and the inkwells drop out of society, saving the female engineers and shit a world of pain in the field.

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I think it’s both well known so deters them from joining the first place AND causes some women to leave the major even after starting

I did really well in an intro CS course in college. They had only 11% women in the major so they sent letters to all the freshman women who got an A and invited them to a special lunch with faculty and alumni to encourage them to major in CS

I started considering it but then I went and I changed my mind. They had two female alumni there to speak and both just talked about how CS made them good mothers. Not a single one talked about having a job or working in the field. The head of the department handpicked these alumni because they thought it would encourage more women into the major and they themselves spoke on how great the work life balance is and how you can work from home.

I just felt like I wouldn’t be taken seriously here and decided against CS as a major because of it.

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From my own personal experience there are 2 computer science/stem fields in my school, one is more technical (the one I’m in, we do IT Networking and cybersecurity) and then the other is more artistic, they deal with photography and videography, photo editing, 2d and 3d animation and modeling, and media production on computers. That program actually attracted a lots and lots of girls, there are slightly more girls than boys in that program. Maybe kinda like how they say males are more logical and females are more creative idk but maybe it has something to do with that

So yeah I think I misunderstood your initial question. But generally I think girls are more attracted to STEAM than STEM. But tbh my program attracts a certain type of boy, that I know 80% of girls would not relate to or want to be associated with so that could be a deterrent also

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i think sexism in STEM is an issue that does need to be addressed. sexism does seem to be a reason why a lot of women leave STEM or why ones who show a bit of interest end up shying away from it. also it just sucks for the women who decide to stay in STEM anyways

i'm not really sure how we solve the "women can't do STEM" stereotype because I do see it negatively affecting some women. i've had a couple female friends outside of STEM ask me for help with math or very basic programming (like Stata level stuff for social science), and it's obvious they have this "I'm just not the type of person who can do math" attitude, but if you spend some time working through that, they have no problem actually understanding it and will often eventually say "huh this is actually kind of fun?". now i don't think these women would have gone into STEM either way, but I wonder how many women there are like that who have a "I'm just not a STEM person" attitude but would* want to go into STEM if they worked through that. i think the "girls can code too!" types of programs they have now end up being patronizing and don't really solve anything, but that doesn't mean there isn't an actual issue that we should address too

[–]Novadina1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yep. I’ve known women who leave the field when they have worked at a place with too much sexism, and I think lots of women never get into it at all or even try it due to the reputation it has as being only good for guys, plus parents not giving the same kinds of toys and activities to girls. The women who end up in tech have gone against tons of people telling them they couldn’t do it, if that messaging wasn’t so prevalent who knows how many people would be doing it that just didn’t have as much confidence to disregard what so many people say.

The efforts already done in this area have been effective, I work with women all the time now, whereas I didn’t even meet another female software engineer until I was in this field for 10 years. I think we can continue doing these efforts for further improvements.

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If you attend a church service, especially smaller churches, often times people will come up to you afterwards to start conversations. If you initiate, they will usually engage as well. Churches are often very welcoming to new comers, just wear something spiffy.

Volunteering is a great option because there are often a lot of women and usually they are quite friendly and easy to talk to. You're working with them and doing tasks that don't generally require intense focus, so striking up or joining in a conversation is easy and natural.

I specifically mentioned aquatic exercise because from my experience, a lot of older women use it to get out of the house, be active, and socialize. People are chatting the entire time, so it's very easy to join in on the conversation. I've never done pilates or yoga, but I know the activities are rather female dominated, so you would have plenty of women available to socialize with before or after.

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Better to be settled on by a woman in her prime years in her early 20s and grow with her while you get more attractive to her. Than to be settled for by 30+ hoe who doesnt find you attractive even at your peak and will just cheat on you and who herself is past her peak and only going downhill.

An intelligent woman who settles for you early will actually have a possibility of "grooming" you into becoming actually attractive to her. And also making smart choices herself to become more attracted to you. And you will simply have a better quality of life with such a woman.

Basically would you rather be settled for in your early 20s and then get aid to become upper-middle class or upper class together with her. Or would you rather be settled for when youre 30-40 by some hoe who takes everything youve got and leaves you ruined because she is too stupid to do better?

Also the intelligent woman will be less likely to disrespect you. The 30 year old hoe will proudly brag about riding Chads and settling for you, while constantly comparing you to them and telling you how much worse you are. The intelligent woman wont have been riding Chads in the first place, but even if she did she wont brag about it nor will she bring it up with you or anyone else.

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I don't think many peoples here know how gendered friendships are

Like whenever l read a post about women claiming you can have sex with your friends l already know that can only happen through Heterosexual people of the opposite gender

Because if that statement of sleeping with your friends is normal then why in the world don't Heterosexual men do that with each other ? Heterosexual women sure they might kiss or do sexual activities with each other but you don't ever see that with Heterosexual men

So the whole sleeping with your friends thing is a absolute lie, friends aren't for fucking unless it's a woman and men or Heterosexual females

This is why l tell Guys to only have male friends so they see the true value of friendship not nonsense like FWB where the only value in that friendship is sex

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Why are you incapable of understanding that childfree women exist if you're not religious?

I think childfree women are going to be sad older women. I can guarantee I never questioned their existence.

I genuinely thought you must have some sort of fundamentalist background.

Not to be mean but it shows a lack of perspective on your worldview. As someone old enough to know women who went childfree and seeing how they act now in their late 40's early 50's where its too late is honestly tragic to me. If anything its the LACK of belief which makes this worse. This is all there is, family, love, etc is on earth and earth alone. There is no "heavenly father" who's love is greater than all. When I hug my kids (which I did both today, despite them being older teens) its not because they are gods creatures but because they are my children who I can only hope have good lives and part of that will be the joy of children on their own.

Modern women (and men) have been feed a horrible lie about the difficulty of family and the overpopulation as a virtuous but lie of an excuse to not reproduce.

We only get one life, and one short lifetime. I don't have a god to be more important to myself than me, but I do have a family that is.

[–]LadyofTheGreyPath2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]fiftypoundpuppy1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think childfree women are going to be sad older women. I can guarantee I never questioned their existence.

Do you think Oprah is sad? Do you think Betty White led a tragic existence just because she didn't shit out some kids?

Not to be mean but it shows a lack of perspective on your worldview. As someone old enough to know women who went childfree and seeing how they act now in their late 40's early 50's where its too late is honestly tragic to me. If anything its the LACK of belief which makes this worse. This is all there is, family, love, etc is on earth and earth alone. There is no "heavenly father" who's love is greater than all. When I hug my kids (which I did both today, despite them being older teens) its not because they are gods creatures but because they are my children who I can only hope have good lives and part of that will be the joy of children on their own.

You can only hope they will have good lives. You can't guarantee that, nor can you prevent their suffering.

It's irresponsible, immoral, and selfish to willingly create sentient life that will inevitably suffer harm - the duration and degree of which you have no foresight of nor ability to mitigate.

As a fellow atheist, I've come to the exact opposite conclusion. What you've done is sentence people you say you love to death. I don't find that a loving action.

Modern women (and men) have been feed a horrible lie about the difficulty of family and the overpopulation as a virtuous but lie of an excuse to not reproduce.

Overpopulation has fuck all to do with 99.999% of the primary reasons why childfree women are childfree. In fact, if the only reason a woman doesn't want kids is because of "overpopulation" then they are childless, not childfree.

In order to be childfree, you must not want to have or raise children. Having even the faintest desire to have a child but deciding not to - whatever the reason - makes you childless.

And the larger point really is that one doesn't need an "excuse" to justify not having kids. If someone is using "an excuse" for why they don't want kids, you should maybe read between the lines and understand that they probably don't want to have kids - but in the face of the rabidly pro-natalist society we are a part of and that you endorse - they feel compelled to give an excuse because people like yourself can't accept that they can simply not want kids and be perfectly okay with that.

We only get one life, and one short lifetime. I don't have a god to be more important to myself than me, but I do have a family that is.

My point is that creates meaning for you. What I don't understand is your logic of taking your experience - and apparently all of two women who work in your office who said they didn't want kids and somehow had them anyway - to mean that literally every single woman alive would experience the same domestic bliss and personal satisfaction by having children. What I can't wrap my head around is how you somehow think you know better than every single woman alive to tell us that we will definitely regret not having children when we're older, especially when famous women have already lived and died never once regretting their decision.

What I can't get behind is you being so adamant in this allegedly non-religiously based belief that you have actually called people "evil" for being supportive of young women having the autonomy to get sterilized.

You are right - we only get one life, and one short lifetime. So why the hell would I want to spend it having and raising children?

[–]RocinanteCoffee1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think childfree women are going to be sad older women

Only if they wanted children and couldn't have them for whatever reason. Not genuinely childfree women who would be harmed, burdened, unhappy, and not good parents if they had to have a kid.

That's the distinction in most cases between childless and childfree.

Having a child would be miserable for me (and for the child). I would never do that to myself or to that never-gonna-happen child.

In every city I visit and live in, the childfree men and women I spend time with seem to be living their best lives, often can afford a higher quality of life even if they make less than some parents because their costs are so much less.

People who WANT children and can't have them or can't afford to adopt are sometimes very sad when older.

People who DON'T WANT children and don't have them are often happier.

As someone old enough to know women who went childfree and seeing how they act now in their late 40's early 50's where its too late is honestly tragic to me.

I think your assumption is that they would be less miserable with kids, when in fact they would very likely be legions more miserable if they never wanted children and were stuck with them.

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Most people will have a guilty conscience if they do things like that, it’s a punishment in itself. In fact it’s almost selfish to tell your partner if you have gone years not saying and there were no other effects, a lot of times people want to relieve their guilty conscience they’ve been suffering with for years and admit it before they die, but that just makes them feel better, it adds pain now for their partner, though.

And I thought Christian hell only punishes people who don’t believe Jesus is the one true lord? From my understanding if you are Christian (and since you are talking about hell I’m assuming it’s Christian…) you can cheat all you want and still go to heaven as long as you are a Christian who believes Jesus is a god. Whereas a Jew or atheist can be the most moral person in the world and Christians think they would still go to hell and suffer punishment for not believing.

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From not a good person to psychopath... Damn that's one hell of a point clarification indeed.

But when a religious person has difficulty comprehending why an atheist doesn't rape and murder they are self-reporting.

Maybe... I'd imagine there's some insight to look into which could suggest or hint at some elements of psychopathy.

But like the point I made with nuance and complexity, even with a religious person struggling to comprehend why an atheist doesn't rape or murder I'd say requires more information about the context in question before accurately determining the religious person is self-reporting in being a psychopath given how rare they are.

Afterall, it is possible that reasons for them struggling to comprehend has nothing to do with them possibly being a psychopath and be something else.

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Daily Community Chat Megathread

Comments

BrownPill

Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	15
Comments	3705
Date	March 13, 2023 8:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11qjvu1/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1176359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1176359