How are men supposed to meet women these days?

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-01-27T16:38:51+00:00

Past college, being introduced through other friends is way underrated. Women will be on guard if you approach her as a stranger but if she has reason to believe you’ve already been implicitly “vetted” by other people she trusts, she’ll be much more receptive to your advances.

Of course that requires you to have friends. If I were trying to find a man that way right now I’d be fucked.

md8716 · 2023-01-27T16:20:02+00:00

The answers to the issues you're giving are the concerns of an overly neurotic dude that's afraid of inconveniencing others or getting rejected.

There's a saying for the British special forces; "[he] who dares, wins".

The real answer is to not give a fuck how you're perceived, and just do what you gotta do to get what you want. There has to be an element of testicular fortitude where you just go out and impose your will on the dating market.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-01-27T16:41:55+00:00

It’s really easy to meet women

Be attractive
Don’t be unattractive

Urbantexasguy · 2023-01-27T16:57:23+00:00

Urban Tex's nightclub tips and guidelines......

Day of the week - Friday and Saturday nights are best. Lots of people still work regular business hours, and they like to party on weekend evenings. That is especially true for women. Women tend to loosen up, and are more open to interaction on those nights. Plus, a woman that is unaccompanied on a weekend evening, is less likely to have a BF, because a lot of people still consider Fri/Sat to be date nights.
Time of the evening - Early evening is always better than later. No woman wants to be the "Last Call Girl". When you walk into a bar, you're basically a carton of milk....you have an "expiration date". Strike while you're still "fresh". The guy who just walked in, is always going to appear more charming, than the guy who has been sitting at the bar drinking for 4 hours.
Venue - The fancier and more pretentious, the better. Women are far more security conscious than most men even comprehend. They like upscale neighborhoods, valet parking and well lighted parking lots. They like good wine selections and sweet, fruity drinks. They also like do dance, a dance bar usually increases the percentage of women greatly. Women tend to hate sport bars. If you hang out at a place where dudes shout at the TV, and wipe their chicken wing stained fingers on each other, it's probably not going to be a babe magnet.
Mingle - Use the power of pre-selection to your advantage. When you walk into a nightclub, immediately start talking to people. Talk to anyone about anything. Get on the dance quickly floor with anyone, any woman, I don't care if she's 80 years old. You're just dancing with her, you don't have to marry her. Hell, get on the dance floor with a group of guys! When women see you interacting and having a good time with others, it elevates you in their eyes.
Try C&W - Yes, that means country and western, if you live in the right region for it. Women love cowboys.....even urban ones, that wouldn't know a horse if it sat on his face. Learn the all those silly dances, like the Two Step, Cotton Eyed Joe, etc. Maybe I'm biased as a Texan, but It can't hurt.
Avoid small neighborhood pubs - Those places are usually dominated by the "regulars", and they can be hostile to women. A "new" woman who walks into one of those places, will often get harassed, and the bartender is always going to side with the guy who has been buying $50 worth of beer, every week for 10 years. You want to meet women, not star in a "Cheers" episode.

toasterchild · 2023-01-27T16:13:30+00:00

Nothing about this is really all that different from any other point in time. There has never been a time where you could control someone else's response to your advances. Some people don't mind advances some do. You never know what you will get unless you try.

why-b-less · 2023-01-27T16:33:10+00:00

you pretty much answered the question yourself, but are also gatekeeping yourself from that good advice. of the three long term (ranging from 1 year, to 3+) relationships i had in my 20s...

met in class. thought she was cute, made a point to sit near her and chat her up. eventually asked her out and went from there
met in a busy dive bar, chatted it up and joked in the line for the bathroom. got her number and the rest was history
met through mutual friends. was "just friends" for a few months. always thought she was cute but after getting to know her, asked her out. 5 years later, we're now engaged.

in between these three there were a series of girls i casually dated or hooked up with. A mix of OLD, or just meeting at gatherings with mutual friends. most of my friends are in relationships or married. they followed a similar path.

EventSea8621 · 2023-01-27T16:37:38+00:00

idk man ive sort of just given up, had zero success on dating apps which isnt suprising.

Sausage fest in pubs/clubs and also dont really like that scene. Cant approach co workers for fear of HR getting involved.

i didnt think i would die a virgin but it seems more likely as the years progress lol, maybe i should just go monk mode.

Capeninja · 2023-01-27T17:51:07+00:00

I think the people saying, "you can get rejected in any environment" are missing the point.

Obviously you can get rejected no matter what and there's nothing wrong with that. But the moral shaming just for trying is a step beyond that.

A lot of decent guys don't approach women because society doesn't make clear when it's appropriate to do so. They don't want to offend, so nothing happens. The question here is basically asking when is it socially acceptable to romantically pursue women?

OrdinaryFarmer · 2023-01-27T16:23:53+00:00

Don't forget how most women only like "1 out of every 200 guys they see"

Cjaylyle · 2023-01-27T19:15:39+00:00

You’ve gotta be attractive and get strong ioi’s or be attractive and get matches

Pretty much it in 2023

8inchchinesecock4 · 2023-01-28T00:53:55+00:00

“just go out of your house and meet people bro, its that easy! just not in the office bro, women are there to work not flirt. also not at uni bro, women are there to study not get hit on. also not in clubs and societies bro, women are there to pursue their hobbies and not get annoyed by you hitting on them. also not on the street bro, thats just creepy. also not on old because thats just for hookups bro. also not in nightclubs bro since because women are shallow there. in conclusion, you are right and you actually can’t meet women anywhere bro LOL”

HolyPipidastra · 2023-01-27T16:44:01+00:00

If you are not good looking - don’t approach women in places like nightclub or Tinder or else you are up for a series of brutal rejections.

If you have something you like it’s good to meet women at social clubs/ events dedicated to the subject, and it’s good to cultivate a social circle without feeling like you need to fuck every bitch who floats through your space time. In other words, if you are busy doing something fun and building your own life, your dick will not scream at you. I think “create a world to invite women in” is a classic TRP advice

Sabrepill · 2023-01-27T17:39:03+00:00

The answer is you can’t care what other people think. It’s called IDGAF. Do everything you mentioned and more. Find what works and what doesn’t. Trying to please everyone ends poorly so do what works and screw everyone else’s opinions.

Become the villain. You’re going to talk to that woman and you don’t care if she’s offended by it or rejects you.

You’ll date a woman less than half your age when you’re older if you’re single and you won’t care if that bothers some people.

You’ll change lanes on the freeway when it’s safe after signaling and you won’t care that a certain percentage of drivers will rage at you anyways.

Stop caring about anyones opinion and make life work in your favor.

CliffPR · 2023-01-27T16:26:06+00:00

Are you diligently observing rules 1 and 2?

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-01-27T16:58:16+00:00

To be honest a lot of shitty men have ruined it for guys who will be respectful. Wanna know why OLD is a sausage fest? So many guys sent those unsolicited dick pics and verbal abuse it's now infamous.

Women's guards are up. They brace for impact.

modidlee · 2023-01-27T16:29:16+00:00

I’d say I’m RP and I tell guys to approach women wherever they’re at. But that’s with the caveat that you know your lane. In other words, be honest with yourself about your looks and conversational skills. Know if your clothes are on point. Know if your cologne and hygiene are on point. Know if your shoes are on point. Sidenote: I literally just saw a post on Twitter where a guy said something like “I’m glad as a generation we all decided to stop ironing our clothes.” But this will be the same dude that wonders why he tried to talk to a woman in public and she rejected his advances. Know if you can actually talk to a woman in public that you don’t know without coming across like some nervous awkward dude. If you’re a regular dude don’t think it’ll go well if you try to approach a woman that looks really high maintenance. In my experience your average guy that approaches the average woman and has these things together isn’t really going to shot down or humiliated like some would have you believe. The majority of women, even if they’re not interested or have a boyfriend, will be gentle with their rejection if the guy is actually decent looking and a good talker.

throwaway_pathcam · 2023-01-27T16:36:43+00:00

I think it would just be cool if I could meet single women through common interests and meetups, but they are never ever single. Ever. Never never never. This is my biggest gripe with online dating is that women date men from completely outside their social circle and men who desire organic development of relationships are left in the dust.

audiofoxthethird · 2023-01-27T19:59:37+00:00

Speaking as a woman it’s just that sometimes the bad experiences outweigh the good. In truth, we want what everyone wants and it’s not so much looks as it is connection. When you’re convinced that all that matters is appearance from both sides of the gender spectrum, you miss the point. Build connection and rapport with people and allow the chemistry to naturally build. Those have always been some of the best experiences I’ve ever had. It works best when you’re in a shared social situation or have a shared hobby. You know it when you feel it.

Dark_Knight2000 · 2023-01-27T18:07:10+00:00

i feel the same way as a woman because every way i think to meet men opens me up to too many shitty men and i'm not willing to wade through them at this point.

i'm sorry that shitty men have put us both in this position.

hopesy123 · 2023-01-27T16:51:59+00:00

Lmao welcome to society mate! I know it’s weird but people have different opinions about what other people should do and not do and there’s no way you can actually make everyone happy, while also making yourself happy…soooooo…yeah, you gotta have to make some choices in life DESPITE some people not liking them, everyone have to do that with other things too, otherwise we would all just look into a wall and do nothing

elidiomenezes · 2023-01-27T16:33:01+00:00

How they expect men approach women:

1- Have a crystal ball

2- Divine if she is into you or not

3- Only approach if she is into you

If you aren 't in the 1%, you can skip the crystal ball and just assume she isn't into you.

RGL137 · 2023-01-27T18:01:21+00:00

The best way is to be introduced by mutual friends. Every other way is a dice roll and if you do it wrong you’ll get me too’d.

Purple317 · 2023-01-27T16:11:47+00:00

I think you’re overthinking it a bit. Most women aren’t immediately offended if a guy starts chatting them up in appropriate social situations (bars/pubs, clubs, parties, class, break room at work etc.)

The key things to remember are to keep it light / fun in the beginning and look for clues as to whether or not she’s interested. If she’s avoiding eye contact, giving terse, one-word responses, putting headphones on etc….she’s not interested. If she’s smiling, making eye contact, asking you questions back, trying to keep the conversation going…she’s probably interested.

full_stack_maxx · 2023-01-27T16:42:26+00:00

it's doesn't matter how/where/when you approach her...

as long as she likes you, it's appropriate

januaryphilosopher · 2023-01-27T16:20:26+00:00

Look, there will be some negative response from someone to whatever you do. You can meet women however you like, I'd just suggest being polite and respectful if you want to avoid complaints. But again, the complaints clearly aren't stopping anyone.

_ModusPwnens_ · 2023-01-27T23:42:11+00:00

You cam safely ignore women's opinions about how to meet/date/approach them.

abaxeron · 2023-01-27T16:18:35+00:00

How are men supposed to meet women these days?

We aren't.

If she's not interested to approach, she is not interested enough.

Enjoy your silence and money.

nastyfella · 2023-01-27T16:38:59+00:00

Just cross out that stuff in quotes and ur good

northernlights190 · 2023-01-27T16:22:26+00:00

Questions like this, honestly, just read to me as people who have difficulty reading normal social cues. Which is a real issue many people have, and it’s one that takes some work to figure out, but it’s just hard for me to understand where this is so mystifying.

Men and women meet through social circles, shared hobbies or shared social spaces all the time. Some of those meetings go onto dates. Women are not typically offended by simply conversing with people in these spaces and having normal conversations. You gauge how the initial chemistry seems to be going and go from there.

It’s never a bad idea to dip a toe into OLD, but unless you’re super hot it shouldn’t be your main source of meeting women IMO just because the gender ratios are so imbalanced and the nature of it does lean to superficial.

Safinated · 2023-01-27T16:47:59+00:00

Social circles

I know; isn’t it the worst, talking to people and pretending you enjoy their company!?!?

Or, you could go the higher effort route of becoming rich, successful or charming

gymbro718nyc2 · 2023-01-27T16:38:23+00:00

https://nypost.com/2023/01/26/single-women-are-shopping-for-husband-material-at-home-depot/

Felizem_velair_ · 2023-01-27T22:43:33+00:00

I would like to know. Where do people go to meet new people? I am not extroverted enough to go to clubs and not handsome enought to try dating apps.

Zadacat · 2023-01-27T16:42:15+00:00

You have posted this once before, its literally just “theres a time and place for everything”

Steakman1 · 2023-01-27T17:02:09+00:00

In life there will always be people not open to being talked to. It is what it is. I assume this never stopped you from making friends unless you have no friends. The difference is that you put your self worth on whether the woman accepts you or not. Have some accomplishments in life so that way you can base your self worth on that rather than basing it entirely on the accomplishment of attracting a woman.

PicklePixie · 2023-01-27T17:31:35+00:00

Women are individuals, so the opinion of one woman might be contradictory to that of another. I'm not sure why you're acting like you uncovered some big secret.

Why are you as a man so concerned with the opinions of terminally online women, considering you seem to regard their advice with contempt? You can't get arrested for hitting on someone in a grocery store as long as you take "no" for an answer.

JackedPapist · 2023-01-27T18:19:32+00:00

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/be/91/7d/be917d236acc75b608d46e60f0ff10fe.jpg

If you look like this, any of these situations is appropriate. There is 0.00% chance you will get called creepy, despite the incoming protestations to the contrary. You may still get rejected, of course, but it will not result in any social repercussions.

If you don't look like this, simply never hit on any girl who has not made her attraction to you overwhelming clear. Nothing is cope-ier than the meme that "girls shoot their shot by thinking about you and hoping you noticed." When a woman finds you attractive, you will know --- she will make extended, unmissable eye-contact; she will make up an excuse to talk to you; she will laugh when you say things that aren't funny; she will touch her hair; she will expose her neck in your direction, etc.

I'm telling you these signs, but you're already instinctively aware of them. If you find yourself asking "I'm not sure if she's really attracted to me; is she?" then either:

(a) she is not and you move on, or
(b) you're nervous and looking for a reason not to talk to her.

Once you reflect on that fork, you'll understand if it's (a) or (b) in any situation and act accordingly.

If you're the sort of guy posting this sort of content on r/PurplePillDebate, then online dating (#7) is a waste and will make you bitter. "Cold approach" (#1 or #2) will similarly leave you embittered. That leaves #3-6, which are all fine, but only insofar as the girl is obviously attracted to you.

I hope this helps.

WYenginerdWY · 2023-01-27T19:26:17+00:00

Your entire premise is based on the idea that men have an inalienable right to approach women for sexual purposes in any context men choose.

You don't.

And the loss of that entitlement is not a problem to be solved, it's rectifying past wrongs and allowing women to exist in public spaces without the burden of availability being placed on them at all times.

If women are seeking men, they'll communicate that. They'll be on an app, they'll go to places that have an explicit sexual context like a club or a bar etc. If they're in a gym with earphones on, take a hint and leave us the fuck alone. Getting groceries or walking down the sidewalk does not entitle you to practicing your shitty cold approaches on us like meat in a cooler.

HungLike_JesusChrist · 2023-01-27T19:44:43+00:00

The problem is that you're trying to chase women like a dog, but aren't interested in getting rejected constantly.

I recommend the "Noah" Gambit. (ie; the only thing that has ever worked for me, and only worked once before I was ghosted 2 months later.)

Step 1. Build a man that women want to fuck.
Step 2. Be social, say hello, chat about the weather. Be strictly platonic and friendly.
Step 3. Let them come to YOU. Begin focusing effort on the woman who reciprocates your platonic advances.

"The moves" were never going to work on a stranger who didn't want you to begin with. Picking up women is not about convincing 99/100 women to say yes to you, It's about finding that 1 woman /100 who wants to YOU to say yes to her.

Step 4. Ask her out in front of all her friends so she's less likely to reject you.

Step 5. Begin targeting the other men in her social circle when you think she's getting bored and is about to dump you.

Do NOT target her female friends. This was my mistake and it cost me the relationship. Remember, the end goal here is to weasel your way into her social circle like a parasite BEFORE you begin looking for a back-up.

Yeah, step 5 sound icky, but that's also where I fucked up, so take it with a grain of salt.

Affinity4186 · 2023-01-27T21:37:32+00:00

Move to a country where welfare and feminism (3rd wave and beyond) are virtually non-existent

VastlyVainVanity · 2023-01-28T02:01:30+00:00

I haven't dated in a long time now because I don't mind staying celibate for long periods of time.

However, I personally think that the best way to maximize your chances of meeting women is to engage in as many social activities as you can. Preferably ones you are interested in.

Be it some hobby, sport, voluntary work or whatever. Just do things that will have new women for you to meet. As long as you are at least average in terms of looks and a decent enough person in the other aspects of life, I'd say that chances are you will eventually meet someone who will be interested in you.

But who knows, maybe I'm just being optimistic. As I said, I haven't dated in a long time.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-01-28T06:33:26+00:00

So according to your theory how is anyone dating? It sounds like you are against every way to meet women because at least one woman reacts badly to it.

buffsterfan · 2023-01-28T13:17:50+00:00

Ok, i think you guys are overanalyzing this. Yes, there’s a chance any one of these reactions could happen, there’s also a chance you’ll get a different reaction. I personally have only ever been weirded out by someone approaching me if there was something inappropriate or creepy about the way they approached me- meaning, saying something like “mmm you sound good girl” (from some guy trying to sell me something over the phone lol), or not backing off after I’ve tried to gently let them down, or eyes fixed directly at my chest or just hardcore staring at me for long durations of time, stuff like that. Otherwise, no matter what their level of attractiveness (bc I KNOW so many guys are going to argue that that is the difference…. and NOT women lol bc the guys arguing that don’t REALLY know), someone approaching me generally doesn’t lead to anything bad, and has, on several occasions, led to flirting or even gasp dating.

There are certainly some caveats to this of course, but my point is that it’s simpler than you’re making it. I’ll comment on the friend thing at least bc that one IS tricky for both parties: if you’re going to be friends with someone, actually be friends with that person. As in, friends first. If you end up dating at some point then dynamics will shift, but until that point don’t see every night out with them as a step closer to fucking them, or every funny dig about their boyfriend a step closer to getting him out of the picture… if you’re going to be friends with someone, actually show up for them as a friend, and don’t expect anything more than friendship. Things may develop organically over time, and that’s pretty much the only way those things develop (speaking as someone who has experienced both things. Years ago I decided to give a “friend” of mine a chance, and when I suggested we just remain friends, he blew up about it, thinking I “owed” him something bc he has spent all this time being friendly and chivalrous. Compare that with my current boyfriend of about a year, who I was friends with for a while before we started dating; we both were in other relationships when we met, so there were 0 expectations. We got to know each other with no pressure, became really good friends because we genuinely loved each other’s company, humor, etc, and then eventually got the timing right. He was definitely pining after me for a while when I was still with an ex, but seemed to genuinely try to get along with my boyfriend, who he didn’t much like, at the time so we could still hang out and be friends. Idk, I just think that illustrates what to do and what not to do)

Lyzard96 · 2023-01-27T16:12:56+00:00

Maybe don't assume AWALT?

jonascf · 2023-01-27T16:37:53+00:00

I've met plenty of women online, niche communities (a bdsm community in this case) seems to be way better than dating apps.

John_Oakman · 2023-01-27T16:26:06+00:00

Women have this 6th sense to filter out ulterior motives and this kinda proves how effective it is (though of course still not foolproof). But of course, all motives are ulterior motives, the question then becomes, which ones are tolerated by society at large?

Of course, none of this social shaming are relevant if one doesn't have a robust social presence in the first place, which the manosphere advocates for its membership. Thus this fear of the repercussion of social fallout is effectively irrelevant.

begayallday · 2023-01-27T19:05:40+00:00

Bars are tough because women don’t usually go to them alone. Sometimes women at bars with their friends are open to meeting guys, sometimes they aren’t. And that is a very hard thing to gauge as a literal stranger. I will say though that I used to go to bars by myself regularly, and only had dudes try to talk to me twice in my life when I was there alone. Soooooo… I guess I’m ugly? Both times it happened, they were successful. For whatever that is worth. I generally don’t mind a guy shooting his shot at a bar or club if I am there with friends, just don’t be weird about it if I’m not picking up what you’re putting down. The only time I get pissy about that is when they follow me around and won’t leave me alone after I have already pushed their hands off my boobs while dancing.

Online used to be a better scene for guys, but fuckboys and total creeps took over and really ruined it for women and men alike. That sucks. But i learned on this sub that 40% of relationships nowadays start online. Assuming that number is accurate, it’s clearly still working for some guys. Some platforms are better than others. My male friends who are not fuckboys prefer Okcupid but they all say it’s not as good as it used to be.

Beyond that I don’t have a lot of good advice because I’m probably not the demographic you are looking to target unless you like middle aged queer women.

Kaminaxgurren · 2023-01-27T19:26:20+00:00

Western feminism in a nutshell

everyoneisbiting · 2023-01-27T19:31:22+00:00

I'm a woman, so take what I say with a grain of salt but I think that all the ways you listed above (maybe with the exception of starting off as friends) would be socially acceptable ways of meeting women. I think that it's more of how you approach (like what you say/ body language and how you react if she says no) that is what women will be talking about when they say that they don't want guys hitting on them. Some of them have bad experiences with men not taking no for an answer or insulting them when the woman said no that they just kind of get turned off from men in general approaching. I think that as long as you don't act creepy or antisocial, most women would be fine with approach.

Keep in mind though, you'll be experiencing a lot of rejection from cold approach, so you'll have to do a lot of approaching in order to see some results. I think most men would consider a 10% approval rate to be pretty high.

Dramatic-Earth-3303 · 2023-01-27T16:12:14+00:00

Haha this is so relatable! My understanding is this - if you are attractive + rich, women will find your way to you.

cowfishAreReal · 2023-01-27T16:18:43+00:00

Have you ever considered that if people don't like talking to you in any cenario then the problem isn't the cenario it's you?

MediumBaseball5339 · 2023-01-27T16:14:48+00:00

Shall we play a game of victim complex?

What's your attitude like? Based on what you wrote, are you taking responsibility for your actions and approach? What's your game like? Are you playful? Or are you coming across as needy and desperate as if you need sex?

And I'm just assuming here, but judging by your username, are you autistic? If so, has it been addressed properly where you understand the issues of autism? Again, I'm pulling at straws here.

KayRay1994 · 2023-01-27T16:20:12+00:00

Assuming that the setting is appropriate, as long as your approach isn’t disrespectful then you’re fine and these comments don’t apply - normally such comments apply to cold opens popularized by pickup artists, usually in spots where people don’t wanna be bothered - so approach, but in places where it is appropriate to approach (ex. nightlife, or if you’re not into that a short approach in a place like a cafe if she doesn’t look busy, or after class if you’re in school/ are doing general classes, etc)
what people by upfront and honest is making your intentions clear - albeit, in a slow and interwoven way - there is already an assumption that you wanna sleep with or date a girl when you approach her, but throwing it all at once can be overwhelming, in other words, be upfront about your intention in the next short period, not your endgame. (ex. don’t tell a girl you wanna sleep with her or date her soon as you meet her, maybe talk first then ask her out or say you wanna get to know her)
Yes, friendships CAN work if they start naturally - but NEVER befriend someone with the intent of a relationship, you’ve set yourself up for failure with this.
Social events =/= nightlife - and to be fair being approached constantly in nightclubs non stop by drunken, usually obnoxious and sometimes kinda scary men can turn anyone off from the experience.
there is nothing wrong with approaching someone AFTER class assuming they don’t look busy or occupied - and don’t hit on someone after class, cause that’s not why they’re here. If you’re attracted to them and wanna get to know them, again, use a gentler approach (assuming y’all are in the same class, if not and you’re approaching anyway, then i can see how you can be seen as a creep)
if you ask her out and she takes it poorly, its on her - though i wonder how you reacted to the initial rejection/ if your behavior towards her abruptly changed after. That’s where such defensiveness comes from.
OLD is conceptually a mess, i don’t think i have to tell you why

but tbh - this all very much seems like you made up a scenario then got mad about it, every statement you’ve made is a strawman - but also, the problem could very well simply be how YOU approach each scenario

MegaGigaTeraBased · 2023-01-27T18:14:07+00:00

When women say this, they are only talking about unattractive men who they don't want to be bothered with. So yes- if you're short or have an ugly face, then following women's advice would make you unable to meet women, because women don't want to meet you. Women are quite literally disgusted by unattractive men.

On the other hand, if you're tall, handsome, and white, then feel free to totally ignore everything women say. Their BS is only meant to ward off betas from approaching this; they will still always want alphas to approach them.

shmupsy · 2023-01-27T16:13:57+00:00

This is all true, but if you practice any of them it will still result in eventually getting someone.

And I say the most frustrating one is the OLD. At least with the others there's some adventure.

Getting rejected IRL is kind of a rush.

Getting rejected by algorithm is crushing.

EvaViaMusic · 2023-01-27T16:49:38+00:00

It's okay to approach someone who isn't obviously busy (exercising, reading, etc.). It's CREEPY and WEIRD to keep hitting on someone who obviously isn't interested. You may think that's confidence, but it's creepy.
If she only wanted to go on a date with you if she thought it was just as friends, you're going to waste time and money on a date that's not going anywhere.
Not if you're genuine in your friendship.
It's okay to approach someone who isn't obviously busy (exercising, reading, etc.). It's CREEPY and WEIRD to keep hitting on someone who obviously isn't interested.
It's okay to approach someone who isn't obviously busy (exercising, reading, etc.). It's CREEPY and WEIRD to keep hitting on someone who obviously isn't interested.
It's okay to approach someone who isn't obviously busy (exercising, reading, etc.). It's CREEPY and WEIRD to keep hitting on someone who obviously isn't interested.
Can't comment on this. Took me a second to even figure out what OLD means.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-01-27T17:12:10+00:00

No idea! I met my wife at church but if i didn't go to church i'd probably still be single.

University is great for the short amount of time that some people are there.

josejuan4495 · 2023-01-27T17:59:56+00:00

You’d have to as a man spend considerably good amounts of time at the gym ( at least I did) . Watching closely what you eat and spending good amounts of money on nice clothes and haircuts . Don’t believe in that BS of “ develop a personality “… straight women don’t see personality on Instagram/TikTok/Snapchat . They only care about men who they can make their social peers jealous about .

FatNuggetInYoFace · 2023-01-27T18:16:35+00:00

Personally when a guy just hands me their number that’s already written down is nice. I tend to shut down when men try to talk to me when I’m out and about so this way to find a space when i feel less shy and text them if I thought they were cute. Im currently seeing a guy who did this!

feanoric · 2023-01-27T19:36:05+00:00

You have to understand men do not really have much agency here.

If she likes you, you can be a literal criminal and still get sex and relationships.

If she does not like you, you can be like Bezos and be divorce raped.

MistyMaisel · 2023-01-27T19:39:17+00:00

Clearly you need to be able to read a room and a situation to know when you can approach a woman. We aren't a 7/11 that's open for your interest all the time. That's ok. And it's ok to fuck up knowing when. Just say sorry and move on without being a weirdo. No harm, no foul.
This is fine. Women who don't just want sex want to know you want that. The fact they turn you away is a good thing. Your desires do not match. The women who want this will not mind unless you're being a totally charmless monkey about saying you just wanna bang.
Don't feign friendship. This is so easy. Actually want friendship and actually be ok with getting friendship with women. If you cannot do that, then you aren't gonna manage a relationship anyway. Cuz most relationships are just a best friendship with a few ribbons and bells.
Again, read the room. If it's a group of girls, they probably don't want your dick involved. If she's on her own, she's probably on the prowl. If she's in a mixed group, they're probably open to more. When it doubt, it's ok to fuck up and say, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, I hope you ladies have a fabulous evening".
It isn't. So again, talk after class, talk before class. Don't be a creep. Just get to know um and then ask for something when you aren't in a lecture.
Dude, if you guys have been friends for ages with no chemistry or romantic spark ever in there, it's annoying to suddenly have a guy laying that shit on you from nowhere, let alone if all of um are doing it. But again, read the room. Read the vibe. Don't just be friends if you don't want to just be friends. Have self-control in all ways.
This one is just your own nightmarish anxiety. It's fine to do OLD. It doesn't work out for a lot of dudes, but no one has a problem with this unless you're saying OLD is reflecting of all of romance and dating and proves everything about everyone.

SalesAficionado · 2023-01-28T02:58:09+00:00

I got all my girlfriends and lays through cold approach. I don’t give a fuck what’s women think about it. It’s a numbers game and it works.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-01-27T17:00:40+00:00

People who think "you just gotta know social cues" should peruse this linked thread a bit. That's the impression men have of women's experience, so it's tough to think "are my motives 100% pure enough? Am I worthy of this quest?" etc, etc etc every time you see a woman you'd like to talk to .
https://www.reddit.com/r/rant/comments/1046hyh/im_sick_of_living_in_a_mans_world/

My advice to guys; you have to put yourself out there. A lot. Which is tough because it's hard to find a scene or environment that is right for you. School worked or work worked best for me, HR or career be damned, or living with a bunch of extroverted roommates. But it's tough if you are over-the-top attractive, extroverted, or exceptionally quick witted.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2023-01-27T17:38:10+00:00

You don't, you stare at a wall

M_LaSalle · 2023-01-27T17:54:46+00:00

All of the above named methods listed by OP will work if the man is attractive.

Unattractive men are not supposed to meet women. They are icky and the women don't like looking at them.

Ex_Machina_1 · 2023-01-27T16:59:19+00:00

Yet men are getting into relationships with women all the time. Im sorry but this sub has gotten a lot of yall stuck in some weird hate fantasy. The problem is y'all are too sensitive to rejection. The moment you accept that no one owes you their affection, is the moment all this purple pill bs goes out the window. Yall have literally no clue what just being yourself and not being perturbed by the idea that not every woman will want you will do for your self confidence. But of course you guys are so deluded what im saying will likely fall on deaf ears, because its about how woman have advantages and life for men sucks huh

JamesSantell1122 · 2023-01-27T16:27:31+00:00

Oh it's very simple.

If you're Chad, just about anywhere. Or, more likely, they will approach you.

If you are average or below average, nowhere will be acceptable for the reasons you stated.

Women are the selectors and they filter based on genetic fitness. If you struggle to meet women in any of these locations, it's because you are not genetically fit.

thelostburner · 2023-01-27T16:29:18+00:00

victim mentality. Get on a dating app where women are genuinely trying to start dating people. Mutual friends do end up liking one another and that’s natural too

GoodApollo506 · 2023-01-27T17:57:37+00:00

Be tall and physically attractive

throughalfanoir · 2023-01-27T17:10:32+00:00

it is all situation-dependent, people aren't saying don't do these things at all. let's see:

I would personally prefer if no guys did this but I am not the majority and I know some of my friends have been picked up this way. There are some key things, mostly: read her! Does she seem like she is open to be approached? If she has headphones on, seems immersed in a book, on a phone call, god forbid talking to someone irl - don't approach them, they are doing sth else. How is her body language after the first few sentences? If you see any discomfort, just leave politely. It's not that hard.
Being upfront with your intentions form the start is great, but yes, if your intentions are only sex, some people just aren't into that. That's just a preference.
You can also start off as being friends esp if you want sth serious, most of the long-term relationships around me started that way. But, the thing is: if you get rejected, or even after a ONS or whatever, if you stop being friends to them - that sends the message you feigned the friendship and that will get you that reputation. Not the fact that you were friends first.
Social events are a good place to meet girls, better than the first one, since people will probably be more open to being cold-approached but "read the room" still applies.
You guessed it, "read the room". Uni specifically is a place where a lot of people go to study, and don't appreciate being distracted from it. It's not about you, it's about the situation. Social events I think are better.
Same as the third.
OLD is different than the real world indeed but why not try? Tbh the women on there did consent to being approached so they shouldn't complain (about normal, not harassing messages). I, for one don't want that in my life so I'm not on tinder anymore.

Basically, it's not that black&white. Read the situation.

SagatisGod · 2023-01-27T16:23:47+00:00

If you listen to them, you'll never get them tbh.

It's an inception of gaslighting, because what one woman finds appropriate, another might not. Instead, you are expected to know who likes what when lol

BigOleGreenTrees · 2023-01-27T17:13:37+00:00

How about stop letting random women remove you of your agency. Just because some 21 year old at the club said ew to you once, you're going to let her speak for all women??? Just because a Stacy whined men are gonna lock themselves inside and never try again? Cmon you can't let any random persons shit opinion change your life.

Vyrnoa · 2023-01-27T17:20:40+00:00

We can tell when youre not actually interested in getting to know us and going off from there but rather getting close to us for your own benefit.

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Aggressive_Error_670 · 2023-01-27T17:01:52+00:00

All those methods work, it’s not that fucking hard to talk to a girl. Eye contact I’ve found is extremely important, if you can maintain eye contact with a girl, you’re in. (if she’s an actual attractive girl she’s going to test you) I’ll elaborate on this, most men will look a girl in the eyes then maybe will look away or get uncomfortable when getting stared at back in the eyes by a hot chick. If you give that same energy back you’ve already peeled back a layer of that onion. Just don’t be a fucking creep about it. Oh and also, make her fucking laugh. MAKE HER SMILE, make her happy, let her associate you with happiness, or comfort. This is absolutely paramount in having a girl want to either date you or even fuck you, you need to make sure she feels safe and comfortable, This is also a rule for life in general too, You need to make sure the women around you or in your life feel safe and comfortable. I take care of everyone I can, I try to make sure the people around me are loved and never hungry. Women see this and will love you for it, just be a better person. Take care of others. And love will follow. No woman is going to think you’re weird for approaching her when she’s probably already gotten approached at least 3 times at the club before you got there, it’s normal, she probably is loving it to some degree, show absolute and utmost respect when you approach her and try your best, once again, USE HUMOUR. Women also usually date up, meaning you absolutely need to make sure that she knows you are not her equal, you must be superior (or make it seem like you are) compared to her. Don’t be an asshole, this is where it can get very iffy and sticky, be extremely nonchalant, just make it known that you have things going on in life, or maybe it’s the outfit you have on or whatever it be, but just somehow make it known that, you are the shit. And if you don’t have the money to pay for first dates, or a trip every now or then, or to even get a good clean outfit together. Then go put your head down and get to work, come back to the markets once you have your shit together.

_kittykat69_ · 2023-01-27T17:37:50+00:00

What a negative attitude !! Not all women think like this, especially the university point… I’d be glad that a man approach me while I’m studying

Royal-Tip4585 · 2023-01-27T18:06:39+00:00

go talk to a woman, approach her with confidence. "Eww, this weirdo thinks it is okay to just bother women going about their day..."

I’ll bother whoever I want to whenever I want to. But for real never had a women ever get mad me for approaching. This fear is made up unless your really unlucky and you meet the tiktok type.

be upfront and honest with your intentions from the start " "Yikes! Women will assume you want to sleep with them which is a turn off!"

Don’t be a fuckboi and pursue wholesome relationships from the get go. Casual sex is meaningless. If she doesn’t look like wife material you don’t approach.

Maybe start off as friends "men will literally feign friendship to get in your pants"

Don’t be friends with the opposite sex lol. But most women understand this happens.

try some more social events, like night clubs! "OMG, I'm just trying to enjoy a night out with my friends! this is why we go to gay bars!"

Don’t go to a gay bar. If it’s not a gay bar I’ve never ever in my life ever had backlash. Most will say it’s girl night. And you accept and move on.

University is a great place to meet girls!"The lecture hall isn't a meat market and women don't really appreciate someone hitting on them."

Not the lecture Hall during class but sit next them and Just chat before or after class. And at the cafeteria all’s fair game. Library not during finals week. And the coffee shop. Sign up for a gym class something like volleyball that’s also fair game. So is all the social clubs.

it's easier to ask a girl out in your social circle " Apparently all of my male friends 'would fuck me' given half the chance"

Yes and if she’s not mature enough to accept reality you next her.

try OLD women there consented to be approached "OLD is not the real world go outside touch some grass"

Only if you fail at it lol.

All these are valid. You just haven’t done them successfully. Just got to be smooth and not overly burdening. Should be short sweet and simple.

itsokiloveu · 2023-01-27T18:25:32+00:00

24F. Both my ex boyfriends and the only two men I’ve ever loved approached me in public with confidence :)

So #1 worked for me!

Shebalied · 2023-01-27T19:57:26+00:00

None of those rules apply if you are hot. Girls never wanna admit to it, but it is. Hot guy, that is ok.

daddysgotanew · 2023-01-27T22:41:48+00:00

If you’re not successful on online apps, you’re fucked. Whether that’s Tinder, Hinge, Instagram, Tik tok etc.

Women don’t want to be approached in person. You’re likely to be humiliated in public if you try. Chicks are all 49’ers too. 4’s that think they’re 9’s. 8+ women are community property. They’re already bought with money and status, and aren’t even available to the regular dude.

crispickle · 2023-01-27T23:25:21+00:00

There's only 2 guys that I know who do exceptionally well with women and have rotations of 3-4 hot girls every few weeks. They mostly get girls from clubs and Instagram but both dudes are steroid junkies and look like gangsters even though they don't live that lifestyle.

It seems nowadays you gotta have strong bad boy energy to get the most beautiful women. These girls don't mind being side pieces to these kinds of dudes and have sex non stop, it's a whole different reality.

reforged-demon-blade · 2023-01-27T17:27:33+00:00

You are forgetting the two basic rules for all those 7 items to succeed.

jonnhycode · 2023-01-27T17:51:46+00:00

This complaining from my fellow lads is getting out of control, you can’t control how someone else views you, change what you can in yourself, work on yourself and love yourself before expecting anyone else to love you back… seriously a lot just lack communication skills and are butthurt for the 1-2 girls they managed to talk to that turned them down. You know there’s a lid for every pot out there.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-01-27T17:53:33+00:00

Nah. Look, if you develop some social skills and a group of mixed friends, and go out with them, you will have a chance to meet women. If you know your league, roughly, and use that to guide your interactions, you can approach most women at places like bars and clubs. Knowing your leagues doesn't mean you can't shoot out of it, it just means that a male 6 approaches and flirts with a female 8 differently and more carefully at first than a male 8 does. You can also use OLD.

What most guys are really upset about is that there is no way to hack the results. There is no way to put more effort into meeting women (easy part) as opposed to improving yourself (hard part) that will then get you the results you want. More understandably, perhaps women have become pickier, and so maybe guys are getting no results and they want a way 'around' that. But there is no way around that. Women get to choose who they want.

So all you can do is put yourself out there, but do it with some social acumen so as to not creep girls out, and accept the results. If you don't like the results, make yourself more attractive and try again. And if, God forbid, you are one of those who are terminally unattractive to women, then just deal with it and accept it. Don't get made at the women. Life isn't fair.

richard_golbes · 2023-01-27T16:42:40+00:00

be upfront and honest with your intentions from the start " "Yikes! Women will assume you want to sleep with them which is a turn off!"

There is no room for assumption here. You literally stated that they were upfront and honest.

University is a great place to meet girls!"The lecture hall isn't a meat market and women don't really appreciate someone hitting on them."

Nobody ever said to hit on people during actual classes.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-01-27T17:29:37+00:00

Did you even attempt ONE of these?

If you're attractive any one of these will work on some women (The start off as friends is stupid, though).

If you're unattractive none of these will work.

This seems like you've got anxiety around approaching women and you're trying to apply it to the world.

People are much less judgmental in real life than that in real life.

If you don't try to do hero-approaches and overstep your boundary you'll either get the phone number or a mild rejection.

If you do try over-the-top stuff then yes the responses will be more polarized, with either enthusiastic yes or a 'get the fuck outta here'.

Chill, go touch some grass.

empresa_josefina · 2023-01-27T17:41:05+00:00

All of these venues work if you are attractive and she’s into you.

If you make a move on women at clubs, grocery stores, campus, and OLD, and you get no traction, you’re unattractive.

Stop listening to generalized statements from women like “I don’t like being approached on XYZ,” individual preferences don’t matter, you are playing a numbers game and if she’s into you, it doesn’t matter in what forum you met. I know a guy who met his girlfriend at a funeral for a mutual relative (they are non-blood relation), they had a ONS at the funeral itself but stayed together

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-01-27T18:02:58+00:00

All of those are valid ways to meet women. It's not some mysterious process. Be friendly, be outgoing, be fun. That's all you need to do to meet women. Will everyone you meet want to date you? No. Will you be rejected? Probably. But you're be more likely to get a date using any one of those strategies than if you do absolutely nothing.

ceereality · 2023-01-27T18:29:54+00:00

Find your purpose and the right woman will find you.

-palladium · 2023-01-27T18:55:01+00:00

Perhaps I'm talking from privilege but I refuse to totally believe that. I'm conventionally attractive, 6ft, in shape, well groomed.. HOWEVER I have social skills. If you're an adult who cannot understand social cues, yes, you will be labelled a weirdo because it is weird. It means you're socially underdeveloped despite being an adult, this poses questions about your entire life. Still, shouldn't be seen as an insult, one should use that as a prompt to learn what they're lacking.

This also ties into the whole incel culture I'm becoming aware of and to me it's nonsense. If you haven't attempted to address your health, your hygiene, your style, your finances, your social skills then you have no right to complain about not getting women. You won't date yourself if you had a choice. It's a twisted lack of self responsibility and laziness that would see a guy label himself as a quote on quote incel. Do all the things above first, then try and fail a bunch of times then feel free to become an incel if you haven't made any headway with women.

blackhumor13 · 2023-01-27T20:29:14+00:00

I think a lot of the time, the problem is that these men lack tact when approaching a woman.

It's one thing to be approached somewhere and a guy just off the bat assuming I'm single and I'm there to take his advances vs someone who comes up to me and asks me if I'm single or interested in getting to know someone. It's the assumption, I think.

For me, personally, it really strikes a nerve to just be approached romantically but never considered if it's what I want. You just see me, think I'm cute and want something more. But what if I'm depressed? What if I'm lesbian? What if I want to take time to myself? What if I just got out of a really bad breakup? lost someone close to me?

Asking those things honestly shows consideration for me as a person and that says a lot about someone. I'll react much more positively to someone who is considerate of me versus someone who think I'm there to potentially fulfill whatever they are looking for without even bothering to see if I'm available to do so in the first place.

JAE_7502 · 2023-01-27T16:54:07+00:00

Internet advice (esp on Reddit) does not mirror real life. I think the #1 things posters here could do is log off and live life more.

Midaycarehere · 2023-01-27T17:45:39+00:00

Go to a dating app. Be upfront.

14ers4days · 2023-01-27T18:00:55+00:00

This is a list of excuses to not do it because you're scared.

Pilling_it · 2023-01-27T17:17:40+00:00

On dating apps, duh. Shut the hell up, why would anyone meet people without an 46533 months prior appointment ?

For real, friends of friends, preferably in a bar setting (not nightclub), and take it from there. Easiest environment. Social skills gotta follow though.

But the thing about that is it's pointless to ask because women are never going to look for that actively, from their perspective it just happens organically. Then it's either you kill the thoughts you've written in italic, or keep being fearful of approaching.

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2023-01-27T17:26:36+00:00

Unfortunately we have to go to places where other human beings are and open the speaky-hole.

purplish_possum · 2023-01-27T17:31:40+00:00

Go to a bar/club where women in your league hang out. Drink alcohol. The rest sorta just happens.

Skadi793 · 2023-01-27T18:06:42+00:00

Some ideas:

Join a co-ed volleyball or softball league. A lot of big cities have these.
Go to cultural events like gallery openings, museum fund-raisers, etc. Women at such events are much more open to have pleasant conversations with like-minded individuals
Check to see if there are any boardgaming groups in your area. These sometimes have single women in them
Church events (although this is very touch-and-go)
Private house parties your friends throw
Dance classes at the university or clubs

gate18 · 2023-01-27T18:21:39+00:00

It's great when you convince yourself all women are the same and they will all have the same reaction.

If you approach Alice, you are not talking to women. Fuck women, you are talking to Alice.
If you are upfront and honest and Alice is turned off by it, move on to Sue. If you thinking all women are like Alice and Sue, you are just wrong.
The fact that there are male-female friends, that's bull.
If the Alice doesn't want to talking to you that's her right!
You too know the lecture hall isn't a meat market, hence you make friends.
Then you have shitty friends if they all want to fuck you.
doesn't makes sense. If anyone says "old is not the real world" tell them to fuck off.

fupadestroyer45 · 2023-01-27T19:01:06+00:00

The way I see it, the decent women won't take offense and the ones who would get offended, I'm not interested anyways.

sweetestpineapple · 2023-01-27T19:08:33+00:00

Mutual friends. Lots of women enjoy setting friends up with each other.

ChadChasingB · 2023-01-27T19:27:50+00:00

Guys approached me after class or at church. I don't mind people making conversation in those situations, but I wouldn't care for a random stranger to approach me.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-01-27T19:28:54+00:00

"Eww, this weirdo thinks it is okay to just bother women going about their day..."

Well yeah you don't want to interrupt someone who is doing chores or working, you'd approach people at venues appropriate for hitting on people (festivals, salsa night, night clubs, barcades, singles events).

2)be upfront and honest with your intentions from the start " "Yikes! Women will assume you want to sleep with them which is a turn off!"

If you put casual on the apps you will still get similar hits to 'serious/looking for a relationship', more if you're "looking for casual" and in your twenties and early thirties

Maybe start off as friends "men will literally feign friendship to get in your pants"

Because you're not making friends just to pretend to be their friend to hit on them. You actually make friends with them, open up your social circle. People with friends who go out with friends tend to meet more people. One of those people in the expanded circle might end up dating you.

try some more social events, like night clubs! "OMG, I'm just trying to enjoy a night out with my friends! this is why we go to gay bars!"

Depends on the club, the event, and your approach. Lots of clubs and bars have singles nights, trivia groups, romantic events where the vibe and setting are much more appropriate for getting to know people/sharing numbers.

University is a great place to meet girls!"The lecture hall isn't a meat market and women don't really appreciate someone hitting on them."

Yeah if you bother someone studying you're a prick. But there are other ways to get to know people in university than pestering people doing work in the library.

it's easier to ask a girl out in your social circle " Apparently all of my male friends 'would fuck me' given half the chance"

It's more like you and your friends naturally talk about dating and because of this they know you are looking to date. Then people joining the group or on the periphery know to approach you.

try OLD women there consented to be approached "OLD is not the real world go outside touch some grass"

It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can keep 4-6 apps running at once in the background and still go touch grass and meet people organically. That being said 40% of all relationships begin today on online dating (mostly apps).

jackedsoon · 2023-01-27T19:30:35+00:00

i mean the problem is in all of those youre quoting what women say. which is irrelevant

1.go approach a woman in an appropriate environment(daylight, not in a corner/small space and if she says no then leave)

2.second is stupid im not commenting

3.youre again listening to women

4.see number 3

5.see number 4

6.see number 5

7.see number 6

danhaas · 2023-01-27T19:40:39+00:00

I find the best method is how it was done before internet: Get a non nerdy hobby, make friends, invite them to your house, go to their house, meet their friends. By then you should meet 20+ people, all of them with a reasonable expectation that you’re not weird. It’s shooting fish in a barrel then.

phaneritic_rock · 2023-01-27T19:49:54+00:00

Dating apps. People with the same intention. Easy. But judgement aside, people get into a relationship daily, so if you can just ignore that judgement you'll find someone to date asap.

GrizzleGuts30 · 2023-01-27T19:51:55+00:00

This entire post and thread basically sums up dating in r/australia or a capital city like r/sydney or r/melbourne. Almost every public place is a crapshoot to approach women and every meetup event ratio is 95:5 men to women.

KikiYuyu · 2023-01-27T19:57:12+00:00

Maybe start off as friends "men will literally feign friendship to get in your pants"

Why not actually genuinely try to be friends without it being a tactic?

Wonderful_Layer_8901 · 2023-01-27T20:20:39+00:00

Have friends, go to parties, be fun

arcticshqip · 2023-01-27T20:20:57+00:00

Have you tried talking to women your own age? No.

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-01-27T21:01:48+00:00

What's OLD?

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-01-27T21:03:52+00:00

The solution to many of these is having rizz. If your game is good enough, and you're not too ugly (yep, that's very important), most women should be fine with a nice approach every now and then. Also, many women are expectant of dating opportunities in bars and clubs. Again, be natural, have rizz, reduce your doomer thinking.

jpla86 · 2023-01-27T21:07:01+00:00

You can't meet women unless you're attractive or already have a huge social circle. You can't even talk to a woman these days, even online.

Approaching a woman? Lol, good luck with that. I won't even stand near them.

OLD is even worse because looks matter more online. If you're an unattractive man, the only purpose of online dating is to drain your self-esteem.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-01-27T21:21:14+00:00

A lot of this sounds like it's all in your head?

Aside from the fundamental rule of "don't approach women you don't know when they're walking through deserted areas alone at night" most of these are gonna be just fine provided you can recognize disinterest and back off quickly. It's that last point where guys screw up.

I've had guys I wasn't interested in hit on me in pretty much all the circumstances you mention and I wasn't bothered at all by the ones who knew when to back off. If someone has an extreme response to a brief, polite attempt... that's on her. Move on. But if you're getting those responses a lot, consider whether you're being as polite as you think. The only times I've been really nasty to were with the guys who pushed me to the point of a direct "no I am not interested" and still didn't leave me alone.

Redwolfdc · 2023-01-27T21:34:40+00:00

How about stop listening to this shit advice

First off places like nightclubs and bars imo are fair game. Sure you should take no for an answer and move along. As a male I’ve been occasionally approached by a woman at a bar, people of all sexual orientation go to bars/clubs to meet people. If someone is afraid they might be approached at those places they probably shouldn’t go to them.

Outside of that, it depends what you mean by “meet.” At a university class or mall or grocery store yes it can be abrupt to just flat out ask someone out. But it starts with just being friendly, saying hi or making small talk and feeling them out. At that stage you’re not trying to hookup or anything, it’s no different than being nice or making talk with any stranger. Either they are not receptive or maybe they are and you can move to exchanging contact info.

Jacko-roop · 2023-01-27T21:51:47+00:00

Tinder. (and others)

Both men and women there know the expectations. Now it may differ whether they just want a One Night Stand, relationship or something else, it is intended to bring people together.

nonameboredman · 2023-01-27T21:53:57+00:00

Social events, sports clubs, through friends, hobbies if it's a social one, social media, online dating. Bars/clubs/pubs might work too but I'd say the quality of interaction (or the woman) is usually low.

One that always boggles me is when people suggest "restaurants". How the hell do you even meet a woman in a restaurant? As a man, if I'm a restaurant, it's pretty clear that I don't wanna talk but just sit and eat. Just... how?

plumtastic · 2023-01-27T22:28:19+00:00

Maybe just accept it's not easy to meet women unless you're the top 10% that attracts them by doing nothing? Back in the old days the only way you would get your dick wet is to approach a girl's father with a proposal of marriage (or there's always goats etc). I hope you realise that things are better than they've ever been? The porn industry and western media makes it seem like everyone is wantonly fucking and that just isn't the case. The 5% of sluts from each gender fuck each other, the rest of us live in the real world.

Title	How are men supposed to meet women these days?
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	474
Comments	495
Date	January 27, 2023 4:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10mohld/how_are_men_supposed_to_meet_women_these_days/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-are-men-supposed-to-meet-women-these-days.1150049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150049

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