Weird Red Flags?

lillylilacladybug · 2021-04-19T16:58:09+00:00

On OLD men who very clearly had to have gone out of their way to look creepy. Like it’s so easy to take a normal pic. Standing shirtless in your wood paneled basement seems like your advertising to me the location of the last place I’ll be seen alive.

Heather619 · 2021-04-19T16:56:56+00:00

3 is also a red flag for men that are cheating. They'll just uninstall the app when they're around their wife/girlfriend so she never finds the evidence.

Another red flag related to texting and cheating is timing. They'll only text you late at night or during the day when they're at work. Never on the evenings or weekends.

TafahaDeTerre · 2021-04-19T19:01:49+00:00

Loves to play devil's advocate.

Criticizes everything.

His stories are always with "a friend". Just one. Always nameless and genderless. Bonus points if the story sounds a liiittle romantic.

Jacquerex09 · 2021-04-19T18:35:50+00:00

Asking you “am I doing anything right?” when you get into an argument with him so that you have to ditch your point and reassure him.

a_room_of_my_own3 · 2021-04-19T17:00:10+00:00

also relating to psychopaths from movies (and consequently pulling the victim card- i'm so oh misunderstood). run🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Meccha_me_2 · 2021-04-19T19:32:12+00:00

Hates Valentine’s Day but doesn’t talk shit about any other holiday.

Laughs when people fall/get hurt.

HappyNovel · 2021-04-19T19:45:23+00:00

If he ever, EVER says that you’re too sensitive then you need to get the fuck outta there.

basuragoddess · 2021-04-19T18:37:46+00:00

I don’t know if these are obscure enough, but -

Only talking about things that interest them (going on and on about cars - I don’t know what you’re talking about/am not interested in this conversation and you don’t notice? Pass). Their opinion on male influencers who are caught in sexual abuse scandals. When keeping up with their social media is more important than your feelings. Watching movies with obviously misogynistic content that they don’t recognize.

MamaGia · 2021-04-19T17:48:09+00:00

Relating to Kevin Spacey's character in American Beauty. Or even liking that movie in general.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-04-19T19:51:41+00:00

This was back in the late 90s/early 00s, but men commenting on your jewelry or makeup (or any other aspect of your appearance) as though you need to be “liberated”. I had one LVM take my hand during a first date, and say “i never really understood the purpose of wearing rings.” Another NVM first date said “that’s interesting. You have a little piece of metal going through a hole in your ear.” Both suffered from “not like other guys” syndrome, and were convinced that they were the most original, special little boys in the whole world.

sacchilax · 2021-04-19T20:31:30+00:00

Watches (and loves) the Joe Budden Podcast
Believes (and wants) their women to have babies at home without medication because "it's safer for the baby"
Won't wash between their ass cheeks because "I'm straight"
Has a weird mother-son relationship with their mother
Says other women have called them "an asshole"- but ONLY because they aren't emotional
Can't keep a job more than 6 months-1 year
Talks about "leaving a legacy" a lot. If a man uses those words- RUN.
Talks about all the fun they'll have with their future sons and not their daughters
Listens to music on Youtube. Not Spotify, not Pandora-- but Youtube. WITH ADS.

Adventurous_River_64 · 2021-04-19T17:04:37+00:00

Referring to women as females. Also, being weirdly preoccupied with other people's taste in music or movies because it apparently "says so much about them."

Mella_20 · 2021-04-19T17:50:14+00:00

-I've seen this in a lot of men, but some are really hostile to girls with short hair. Like they will use "short hair" as an insult. Some men will leave their girlfriends for cutting their hair.

-Always has a "jokester" reaction to serious situations or moving content. To me it shows a lack of mindfulness. Its one thing to be less sensitive than others, but its another thing to never take things seriously, even things that are meant to be taken seriously. I dont wanna be around a clown. A lot of things are "not that deep" to me, but I'm still creeped out by men who joke about everything.

-Judge women by their names. Its a thing. And it needs to stop cause its so dumb.

-Speaks in "fairytale". Guys who talk like that, are imo, just looking for a way to defend wanting to fuck a girl on sight and not wanting to seem creepy or shallow, which they are.

-They act different around friends or coworkers.

-Says bitch

-Uses too many emojis when texting. Its like texting a child.

suspended_animation_ · 2021-04-19T17:53:17+00:00

If they idolize Scarface.... 🙄 That's a bit obvious though

airhostess_inthe60s · 2021-04-19T18:00:21+00:00

Not wanting to use moisturizer, sunscreen or chapstick because "it's for women"
Taking forever to decide what to eat
Putting cell phone face down

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-04-19T20:19:40+00:00

[deleted]

_laufaeson · 2021-04-19T17:22:09+00:00

[deleted]

Only_Lime2520 · 2021-04-19T20:39:35+00:00

Soooo many but this is my most recent addings to the list:

Traveling to X countries
Having X amount of laptops / jobs / companies /
Having X partners

Or anything that basically says he sees his life in terms of ... counts ( to me it means that he's a quantity > quality kind of guy)

JSBachLove · 2021-04-19T23:42:22+00:00

My NVX looooooved Limitless. "Alfie" was also his favorite movie when we met. I refused to watch it with him.

Here are my personal ones:

Guys who text "good morning" and "good night" every day when you are just getting to know them. No, you will not control my entire day and pressure me into responding or defending my lack of response. I don't owe you anything.
Guys who ask you to have a threesome if you've never expressed interest in it first.
Guys who let you take the lead on EVERYTHING. If they let you pick where to eat, what to watch, everything to decorate your home (if you live together), everything all the time. They have no opinions because they don't really have an identity or care about anything. It can be easy to enjoy taking the reigns on choosing everything, but after a while, you'll realize they hardly have an identity and it's unattractive and childish.

anywaysheresrational · 2021-04-19T18:28:20+00:00

EYES. the lights are on but nobody's home. Take a gooood, deep look into them. You'll see it. -> Narc/Socio

Otherwise just the obvious ones everybody else is also mentioning, like for example:

sportscar owner. 3/3 were complete douches and yes, had small pee pees and big fee fees hurt sooo easily 💔 dumped them within 3-6 months.
inconsistency without communicating it -> control, breadcrumbing.
The other end, texting every day but in quantity over quality generic, empty "Good morning 😊😊😊" texts -> control, wanting to make sure your attention is on them vigurously
overly pushing monogamy, "jokingly" wanting to know about their "competition" for you -> control
female "friends" -> former sexual flames (ask specificially, if this is the correct term/they hooked up they lied to you right there by using the - intentionally - vague term "friend". Friends is a strictly platonic expression for people we care about. Not for fuckbuddies/acquaintances. Stop inflating it).

Spittens · 2021-04-19T16:55:26+00:00

Anything to do with Snapchat other than 'I don't have it'.

warinmymind94 · 2021-04-19T22:11:30+00:00

Watches you struggling/ doing chores /lifting stuff and doesn't even offer to help. Example: a few years back (before fds) guy offered to do a yard sale with me. He literally sat in his bum and watched my mom and I struggle and heave to get the one table set up and then lift the furniture.

Another example is if you are in the store together and he stands there watching you struggle to reach something in the back or top of a shelf (I'm short) and he could easily grab it but doesn't even offer.

These are the same guys that don't hold doors open or get the car door for you. At a store he should at least offer to carry your bags or take them to the car.

zorra666 · 2021-04-19T18:29:43+00:00

-Excessive interest in sports, especially loyalty to a particular team.

-Excessive alcohol consumption on the first date (or subsequently)

-Doesnt insist on being given the check when it arrives thereby putting you in the awkward position of seeing it sit on the table for a long time and wondering if you should just pay it because getting out of the date and going home is worth $36. I had a 'green flag' recently who excused himself from the table and went and paid the check before it even arrived. Very attractive. No awkwardness.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-04-19T19:56:21+00:00

Has a picture of the joker anywhere on their profile (sociopath)
Lists American Psycho as their favorite movie (sociopath)
Likes Jordan Peterson (incel)
Has a man crush on Elon Musk (narcissist)

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-04-19T17:03:28+00:00

If a man won’t eat soy because he thinks it’ll make him feminine

thepsychopathhunter · 2021-04-19T20:35:36+00:00

[deleted]

Hateorade_ · 2021-04-19T16:49:22+00:00

If a man listens to future or the migos, I personally think they’re the biggest fuck boys. My ex would send me those stupid misogynistic future memes on IG.

edit: I added last sentence

wordy_fries · 2021-04-19T18:38:23+00:00

Calls women (or YOU) "bitch"
Says/does something abusive or stupid and then adds "I am just kidding"
Calls women "females"
Talks badly about other women (i.e. , "She is ugly", "Ew she is so stuck up", etc.)
Gives you weird compliments ("She is so ugly, you're way better looking and in shape"). Ok wtf scrotes actually told me this before 🤮🤮🤢🤢 If I hear it again, I'm straight up leaving, blocking and deleting.
Upset about minorities
Upset about minorities but is minority himself. Thinks only his minority is better than all other minorities. (I actually saw a scrote complain about this).
Complaining about minorities using benefits but then uses the same benefits as minorities. Ok, hypocrite scrote. (This is mostly seen in STEM).
On his phone when you're together.
Likes Joe Rogan, Peterson or any other scrote.
Thinks feminism is about men being allowed to hit women.
Complains about paying in his last relationship. Cheapo alert.
Gives you gifts that benefit him and not you.
Says his exes are crazy. Spoiler: he is crazy and drove them insane.
Comments on women issues like he even knows wtf he is talking about.

SnooPickles4103 · 2021-04-19T17:55:50+00:00

Calls himself a minimalist (hint: he’s a cheapskate)
Watches Joe Rogan or respects Elon Musk
Thinks men are logical and women “emotional” or “materialistic”
Takes pics of himself at the gym or shirtless
Likes misogynistic comedians/humor
Consumes self-help videos/books/quotes or only books he reads are self-help garbage
Talks about how he’s a misunderstood “introvert” (hint: he has no social skills and thinks he’s more intelligent than everyone else)

GoldandGlowing · 2021-04-20T01:43:30+00:00

Going on boys’ trips to the Caribbean, Brazil, poorer South East Asian countries and other places that just to happen to have rampant prostitution.

Oh and bitcoin.

randowordgenerator · 2021-04-19T20:39:29+00:00

The asshole who keeps saying people don't get his "humor." Run run run

SaturnGirl1989 · 2021-04-19T17:15:26+00:00

Doctors - never shut the fuck up about being a doctor

In the process of getting a masters - always have the biggest egos, and always use it as an excuse to put in zero effort

Woman_on_Pause · 2021-04-19T17:31:10+00:00

Joe

Rogan

Podcast

So many flags I feel like I'm in a sailboat race

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2021-04-20T03:04:16+00:00

anime/video games
doesn't have a driver's license
gross toothbrush
works for the family business
talks to his mother too much
overly interested in cars
drives a truck
hunting

rebelliousswagger · 2021-04-19T19:22:35+00:00

Tries to immediately present himself as the ultimate family man, in spite of having multiple children with multiple women. This is a sign that what he says doesn’t match reality, that he crafts his own reality, that he doesn’t put forth the effort to maintain a family because he’s a pathetic, pitiful male.

The first movie he watches in your apartment is a seriously fucked up film, such as Requiem for a Dream. This is a big sign that he’s very fucked up.

He brings his own medical paperwork, unasked for, on date three. Claims to be on same medication as cancer patient, yet isn’t a cancer patient. This is a big sign that he’s a addict to prescription pain pills. It’s also showing that he has poor boundaries and will always make everything about him and his never ending problems to which he rejects all solutions.

He’s been married three times. Again, shows he isn’t able to maintain a relationship, usually due to his mental instability and prescription or recreational drug abuse.

Uses recreational drugs most of the time. Not being able to handle reality means he’ll be checking out all the time and depend on you, and you alone to deal with all the messy reality stuff he is too lazy to deal with.

Lives with parents or grandparents in spite of making a decent living. This shows that he’s not afraid to be a mooch and a scrub. It’s only a matter of time until he’s trying to mooch off of you.

Wants to advance the relationship very quickly, including getting you on his cell phone plan. This is a sign he is controlling, and is trying to trap you before you figure out what’s wrong with him (or how wrong every thing is with him).

Has a history of dating women who make significantly less than he does. It’s a sure sign that he’s seeking this type of women out intentionally to feel more “powerful” or superior to her in some way. It’s also a sign that he’s massively insecure and will hold that financial differences over your head.

Has a history of dating women who are below his looks match. Again, he wants to feel superior and is insecure.

Has multiple porn subscriptions. Enough said.

Cries early on in the relationship when confronted with something unacceptable. Shows he is not ashamed to be emotionally manipulative.

WittyImprovement · 2021-04-19T19:21:14+00:00

What is considered the least sketchy form of communication? I use whatsapp and snapchat to talk to some friends. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving my phone number to a guy I just met whether that's online or in person. What's the alternative?

starlight_sequence · 2021-04-19T17:14:10+00:00

Listening to Joe Rogan podcast
Any interest in conspiracy theories, even if it's a "what if"
Any utterance of the phrase "Saturdays are for the boys"
Telling you who they are instead of showing you. The more they insist to you that they have a specific trait (respect women, are good in bed, etc.) the less likely they are to actually have that trait
Disliking cats

xxritualhowelsxx · 2021-04-19T19:57:55+00:00

BDSM
A guy who won’t have sex bc you’re on your period
30+ years old and still living with their parents
states his ex’s are crazy and he’s the victim

sacchilax · 2021-04-19T22:24:00+00:00

Says that they love women with small hands.

If he says this- RUN.

sherrybby · 2021-04-19T23:03:32+00:00

I don't know if these are obscure, but:

Frat guys in social frats who have benefited from the exploitation of women (directly or indirectly).
Men who are only children.
Men without a strong female role model in their life, whether it be a sister (who is not a pickme and embodies FDS values), mother, grandmother etc.

4.Claims to be logical when in reality they lack empathy and have low EQ

c_a_t_lady · 2021-04-19T17:48:01+00:00

A bunch of stuff started to pop up in my mind when I started thinking about it, but I'll write down a few. ☺

I don't know are all of these that weird 😅, but:

• Referring to women as "females" while referring to men as "men".

• Using the phrase "good dick" while suggesting that a woman doesn't get enough sex, or just had sex with them. (Like "she should get some good dick", "she just needs some good dick" or "she just got some good dick".)

• Always when a woman criticises men/a man, implying that it's because they can't get a man.

• Saying "all lives matter", "not all men" or calling themselves super straight.

• Implying that women can't be funny.

• Claiming that penetration is the best kind of sex (for women) and is more enjoyable than other stuff. Also meaning that every woman can come through penetration alone (most can't!). Also wanting to build sex too much around penetration, even if they know the woman doesn't enjoy it.

• "If they want equality then I should be allowed to hit a woman."

• Using "autistic" as an adjective! I am on the spectrum, so I might be biased here. 🤫

• The term "do me/you/her/him/X", for example, "I want her to do me".

• Using scientific terms incorrectly. "X is just a fact" when X isn't a fact. "Scientifically speaking °says something that isn't scientific/isn't true/can or has been proven scientifically°"

• Really poor grammar without any actual reason for it. (Disorders that make reading/writing harder.) Not saying that the grammar has to be perfect. I, myself, do some mistakes too, especially with English which isn't my first language. But if it's constantly annoyingly bad and sounds like something a 10-year-old would write, then it's a bit frustrating to me.

• Using the word "pussy" to replace the word "sex". "I like sex." // "I like pussy."

missgelassenheit · 2021-04-19T20:38:36+00:00

If they listen to any male 'artists' who hurt women without seeing a problem because its 'just art' like chris brown or xxx tentacion

missisabelarcher · 2021-04-20T01:42:42+00:00

Says he's into and collects music, films and books but has absolutely no woman creators in his collections and can't remember the last time he read or listened to a female artist (or read a story or watched a show with a female protagonist.)

And conversely: all the HVM I know are passionate fans of at least one female creator (and not because she is hot) or one show/book/movie that was centered on female experience.

SaturnGirl1989 · 2021-04-19T17:59:53+00:00

I already posted but I remembered another haha

Men who twist their mustaches into stupid designs. 100% into craft beer, and think they're smarter than you

cutherdowntosize · 2021-04-19T22:00:20+00:00

Men who have a Discord and won't let you see what's on it, who they talk to.

ENFP_Canadian · 2021-04-19T23:51:29+00:00

Using Snapchat over the age of 30 (cheater, why do you need to communicate over an app with disappearing messages)
liking mafia movies/tv shows and idolizing the bosses who cheat on their wives
being friends with their exes because they are "mature" (read: a narc who needs another source of supply)
arguing with you over your taste in music because their taste in death metal is superior
not wanting to use a heat pack or bandaid because it is "girly"
thinking that watching Big Bang Theory is "for smart people"
being willing to/actually moving across town or across the country with you and calling it the "highest level of commitment" but don't want to get married
wanting to buy you a promise ring
hating travelling because it's a waste of money (putting down your hobby) then blowing 30K on music equipment, games and drugs
saying "gentle!" when you speak, laugh, close doors, cupboards, etc. because you have "too much energy" behind your actions

VanessaViews · 2021-04-19T18:56:17+00:00

Yoga poses on their OLD pf. You can bet money they are polyamorous.

Feminineprincess · 2021-04-20T02:27:56+00:00

If he watches and enjoys the series “Two and a Half Men”, I have personal experience with this. A scrote I used to fool around with LOVED Charlie Sheen’s character, the successful bachelor with 0 kids, who lives in a wealthy neighborhood, and does nothing but drink and have a bunch of one night stands with women he lies to and manipulates only to get their panties off.

X_Act · 2021-04-20T00:53:46+00:00

If you're regularly texting back and forth with a man, particularly if you're having a conversation, and he falls off and hasn't texted back and you see him posting on Twitter or Facebook, and it still takes him a while even after that to text you... it's a red flag for me.

If I know I owe a person I'm close with a text or a call back, I generally try to lay low on social media until i say something to them....just for good manners sake.

So, when I'm really into someone...i look forward to their texts. So when I get that notification, my immediate instinct is to see what they said as soon as i get it because i love talking to them. That's how I expect a guy to feel about me in return. With my first love, he was one of my best friends. We were always constantly talking throughout the day. Anytime we had a free moment, we immediately wanted to call each other or see each other. We were each other's main person we talked to all the time throughout the day. He didn't just tell me how he felt about me, he demonstrated it daily...in his actions and in his style of communication.

So, that strongly informed how good things can be in a relationship in terms of communication. I'm aware of how quick a guy is to respond to me, to desire to talk to me, how he responds (is it thorough with conversation starters and taking an interest in me, or is it short responses or am i doing more of the heavy lifting than him?) and how excited and interested he is to talk to me.

It's easy to be good and attentive in person because you're attracted to me.... you're thinking about fucking me. IMO, the tell tale signs are how he acts when it's just your words/thoughts/opinions he's communicating with, and not your body.

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-04-19T18:27:32+00:00

Reminds of men that'll cheat. You can uninstall at any time or even mute notifications.

datfishd00d · 2021-04-19T18:02:56+00:00

If his favourite movie is Scott pilgrim

AlexBlaise · 2021-04-19T18:58:50+00:00

If all of his exes are crazy hes the one who made them that way, and i can not stress this enough. Telling you all his exes are crazy pulls out the "pick me" from deep within. "Im not crazy, im not gonna be like your exes". A few months later you'll feel just as psycho because of his emotional abuse.

ETA, this might not be specific but i think it's really important anyway.

cutherdowntosize · 2021-04-19T21:54:28+00:00

This is really weird and random but any man that idealizes people, can't allow you to have a negative opinion about someone.

Let me explain: In my relationship with my ex, I was always the cautious, overly critical one who would really size people up when they came into my life. I've always been this way and thusly, I have pretty good perceptions of other people. Whenever I met someone that my ex knew somehow (a coworker, an old friend) if I got bad vibes from that person I'd openly say that they gave me bad vibes the next time we were alone. Almost immediately, without fail, every single time my ex would go to bat for them. Constantly tell me I'm negative, be the devil's advocate, anything. The person could be outrightly rude to me and my ex made a habit of making excuses for EVERYONE else's behavior but.... for my behavior. If it was something I did, I immediately was "being rude" or "confrontational", etc. He never made any excuses for me as far as I could see.

It opened my eyes to something. One, is that he is a very, VERY bad judge of character. He also did not respect my opinions of people and felt it was his job to change them.

Secondly, he idealized OTHERS but not me. He would assume someone was trying to do good and be nice but that never applied to me.

It's a bad sign on the whole and to me a red flag. So, if you're with a man and they can't a) allow you to have negative opinions of others but always find fault with what you're doing.... RUN.

NowTruly · 2021-04-20T01:28:42+00:00

If he drives a pick-up truck ... and doesn’t have a job that GENUINELY requires a pick-up truck.

Hand to God, only the scrotiest of scrotes drive trucks.

MakeUlater · 2021-04-19T18:38:43+00:00

If a man won’t listen to female artist, because he thinks it makes him feminine. I had a ex tell me he can’t listen to Rihanna or Megan the stallion(Or give any other female artist a chance) because one of his friends loved their music and he thought it’s weird for a man to legitimately like a female artist for their talent, music and message.

Kingkongsfathog · 2021-04-19T19:08:00+00:00

Talking trash about exes is big, you don’t have to like them and you can even hate what they did (cheating, lying whatever), but if they could live their lives and love a woman and then suddenly write her off as a bitch or a whore, then he’s not a great man

PinkestMango · 2021-04-19T22:42:31+00:00

I disagree with number 3 and would rather say that this is true for men who use Snapchat. How in the world is anyone okay with using an app that is made for cheating? Messages vanish. You can't choose whether you will open the picture (of dick, most of the time) or not. It is horrid.

FDSfollower1 · 2021-04-19T23:12:27+00:00

If they love the old sitcom "Married with Children" it's a red flag.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-04-20T16:20:14+00:00

When the bar is so low you have to TRY to emulate Jim from the Office.

“Just a pickme Pam looking for my LV Jim, wherefor out thou Jim?”

Moira_Spice · 2021-04-19T19:05:46+00:00

If a man prefers to message on Facebook messenger or WhatsAp or any kind of communication in which you can see if a person has read your message, he's more than likely a manipulative, controlling scrote.

Holy fuck you might have a great point with this one, I insist that everyone I contact messages me via texting so it strikes me as ODD when someone REALLY wants to message me via some app that has read receipts.

Another point of mine:

When he uses "Hey babe it's just a joke" when you become upset or angry at him for something he did or say.

zagreus8me · 2021-04-19T17:01:20+00:00

If a guy says he meditates or practices mindfulness he is manipulative and doesn't face his problems. If a man thinks the Big Lebowski or any other sort of lazy ass bum or drunk is a legendary character then he is a scrote. Guys who are gamers and spend more time gaming than actually doing grown up shit they are also scrotes.

Sexist_Drunkard · 2021-04-19T17:03:08+00:00

Following thirst selfie accounts of photoshopped women. Social media really normalises stalking

highoncatnipbrownies · 2021-04-19T22:31:46+00:00

If a man prefers to message on Facebook messenger or WhatsAp or any kind of communication in which you can see if a person has read your message, he's more than likely a manipulative, controlling scrote.

I agree with this one whole heartedly. My worst and most controlling ex would constantly maneuver where conversations were happening based on how he wanted to control the flow. For example, choose the messenger with the read receipts. Or more specifically move to a limited memory chat app like Kik so everything deletes in a few weeks. He tried snap chat but my response is always "I don't snap chat" with a deadpan look an no one ever pushes more lol. Mostly I don't want another avenue for guys to ask for random pictures...

"What am I wearing? Bitch please; I'm sans makeup, unbrushed hair and in my ducking pajamas like a normal person. Do you think we lay around at home all day looking Instagram ready???"

burntpicasso · 2021-04-19T23:00:14+00:00

Being obsessed with Quentin Taratino films.

Always going out to eat.

Every hangout with his friends includes drugs and/or alcohol in excessive amounts.

Liking prank videos.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-04-20T08:00:14+00:00

Men who quickly jump into nicknames in place of real names. He's either got a mommy issue and hearing you say his name gives him flashbacks, or he's afraid of mixing up names when he cheats later. Or both. Usually both.

"Tragedy posing." When you walk up to a guy who was in a normal posture doing some normal thing, but the second he knows you're looking at him-- though while pretending he's not aware he's being seen-- he'll pull some serious face or gesture like he's on a hunger strike for an important cause or thinking about something "very, very important," like the plight of landmine victims in Uzbekistan. It's the trait of a narc who will boil you like a frog until you're walking on eggshells and convinced that everything they think and do is so much more weighty than anything you think or do. It comes in handy later for the "I was working late (saving landmine victims)" line of bull or "she's just a friend (who's a landmine victim)" or, at the very least, "I was way too exhausted (by my hunger strike to save landmine victims) to clean my pee ring from around the toilet or feed the kids."

Beware.

Connect-Ad-9361 · 2021-04-20T03:41:13+00:00

Maybe not weird because generally nixing gamers is a no-brainer, but as someone who has nerdy hobbies and is hard pressed to find a guy with similar hobbies who isn't a gamer:

If he plays league of legends.

Seriously. If he plays league, run. Here's why:

-its a game that you have to pour a lot of time into to get really good at. Hes going to be playing all the time.

-the matches last for like, 45min-1hr. You heard me right. Have fun trying to plan anything or get him to go anywhere. You'll be hearing a lot of "but babe I just started a new match" and you're sunk for nearly an hour before you can get him off his ass. My ex had turned down dates with me because "sorry, playing league, just started a match".

-its a team game. God forbid you say "just turn it off?" Because not only does that knock his rank, it'll end up screwing over his whole team. And if you try and come between him and his gamer bros you're a controlling bitch.

a_room_of_my_own3 · 2021-04-19T16:58:48+00:00

listening to Eminem😭😭or other weird rock bands with creepy, sexist, downright dehumanizing themes and songs (eg: slipknot)

Spraytyasha · 2021-04-19T21:05:08+00:00

Also Breaking Bad! What is it with LVM and that show?!

Papaverinum · 2021-04-19T19:24:43+00:00

All of the comments here are great and 100% on point. I'd like to add that if he is a big fan of American psycho or Rick &Morty or breaking bad, it's a red flag too

Squeakendorf · 2021-04-19T18:50:43+00:00

I worked in the vetmed field for years so mine are mostly animal related:

If he hates cats (control issues/petty/immature/insecure)
If he has a dog that's terribly trained (irresponsible)
If he has a dog that's way TOO trained (control issues)
If he refuses to fix his pets (irresponsible/cheap/toxic masculinity)
If he owns animals that he would know he had no business owning if he had put even a shred of effort into research before getting said pet (irresponsible/idiot/immature/toxic masculinity)

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-19T20:58:16+00:00

Says he loves catcher in the rye or anything by david foster wallace

https://electricliterature.com/men-recommend-david-foster-wallace-to-me/

sarahbae03 · 2021-04-19T20:59:51+00:00

Uhg I second your point 3 from personal experience. My ex situationship ONLY messaged on Whatsapp bc he liked the extra security (?). It weirded me out honestly.

WomanInSilver · 2021-04-20T04:15:35+00:00

Being a fan of Joe Rogan or Elon Musk Do I have to explain this one?
Having parents in strict traditional gender roles He'll expect the same from you, whether he realizes it or not. And God forbid you don't live up to his mother.
Having an unfixed male dog I have known several men who had unfixed male dogs, and all of them were raging misogynists. None of them were dog breeders, or had dogs worth breeding.

nom-de-plume_12 · 2021-04-20T20:00:03+00:00

•If he worships ZAYN or is obsessed with him.

•Likes the TV show lucifer and esp lucifer himself, can add breaking bad here too.

•Obsessed with watches (this is more of a personal red flag).

•Any mention of that he hasn’t cried in ages. RUN

•Listens more than he talks, don’t be fooled he is literally making a folder of yours in his mind only for that to be used against you.

•Has strong believes against vaccines or universities being a hoax nowadays.

•Men in the field of computer science.

windy_summers · 2021-04-19T17:20:32+00:00

They call themselves “feminist” without advocating or doing anything that would actually help women.

lvl5_laserlotus · 2021-04-19T22:49:12+00:00

[deleted]

HlGHFIVE · 2021-04-20T02:11:34+00:00

Same thing with Game of Thrones. Any scrote that loves that stupid porno fest is an automatic no for me.

winterbird · 2021-04-19T18:21:39+00:00

Messaging on apps they can log out of or remove from their phone (then reinstall and log in to message you) = he's taken. And she has reasons to look at his phone.

driverslicensebyOR · 2021-04-19T18:48:50+00:00

practices/reads/enjoys stoicism or proclaims that he himself is a “stoic” 🥴 run as fast as you can.

almost certainly has unresolved and unacknowledged traumas beneath this hypermasculine way of being. it comes across as incredibly disingenuous and aloof.

AlCake4 · 2021-04-19T21:43:43+00:00

All these comments are alarmingly true and relatable regarding red flags in previous partners. My own take on this as well...

-Disrespectful to their own mother/purposefully not close to her for no given reason (which I feel like is sort of an obvious one)

-Says you look like "_____" celebrity and then continues to fantasize over it

-An abundant interest in watching gore related footage

-Watches very weird youtube videos (for instance, Bounty Hunter D)

-Wanting or already has piercings

-Says that all women are "sluts" and/or "attention seekers" (also that women are more likely to cheat on men [why would a guy even be saying that in the first place if it wasn't to shift blame, victimize themselves, and disrespect women --> red flag!])

-Favorite position is something where you are not facing each other/holding eye contact (e.g. doggy style)

anotherdamnloser · 2021-04-20T05:49:26+00:00

Wait what’s wrong with limitless? I’ve never seen it but they did a show on Netflix based on it and I loved it!

bigface614 · 2021-04-20T06:29:48+00:00

One of the most consistent red flags I’ve found is one-upping your experiences. You had a negative or traumatic experience in childhood? There’s was 1,000 times worse. You had a bad day at work? Their job is sooo much harder. In fact, your job barely qualifies as work and you are stupid and petty to think that it does.

san__404 · 2021-04-20T12:45:35+00:00

Asks you why you aren't on some social media network.
Gossips about a common friend.
Wants to keep your relationship private even before you start dating.
Repeats I'm not a perfect man.
Expects you to text first or tells you that he wants to see if you would miss this dusty ass.

Honestly_th0 · 2021-04-21T10:58:46+00:00

Has a very strong and unreasonable hatred of Hillary Clinton, AOC, or any other female celebrity he has never met.
Stands too close, comes up behind you instead of approaching from the side. Feels entitled to touch you (even hugs, they’re hoping for a boob feel) when you’ve only just met.
Won’t let you choose your seat (I prefer to face the door/window with my back to the wall. Won’t let you choose in general (movie, route, cuisine, etc.)
Radio silence on certain topics (like family). He should talk a little about them. If he never mentions anything ever that’s a huge red flag.
“Compliments” or stares directed at one part of your body (nice ass 😒)
OTHER people don’t like him, think he’s weird or just generally not right

Hostileovaries · 2021-04-20T06:41:20+00:00

Asks for my Snapchat = just wants nudes
Says/forces me to do his interests/hobbies but he won't ever do mine
Listens to Ben shapiro, Jordan peterson, or Joe Rogan.
Super into Marvel
Gatekeeping hobbies
"I want to see you, send me a selfie" = the most insecure, controlling guys ever
If I mention what I'm eating/cooking, "when are you going to cook for me?" "Yummy, bring some over"

likeafreakonaleash · 2021-04-19T18:07:34+00:00

Male teachers and musicians.

The first ones always have multiple stories to tell about young female students that tried to hit on them and they rejected them because they're "oh so noble and respectful" when really they're just humble bragging. Not to mention, now with social media I've heard of girls complaining about male teachers following them on Instagram when they never told them their username or gave them permission to follow them. Creepy.

The second ones usually start talking to you when they find out you live near a place they're coming for a show soon, so you can do your math and imagine they have pretty much a new girl every week for every part of the city.

Oh, I almost forgot to name metalheads. They love to act like they're so different and misunderstood but when it comes to women they all want the same blue eyed blonde with huge boobs and ass as every other male. Wow, how different and special 🙄

fallen-summer · 2021-04-19T18:24:15+00:00

Oh man so many but here's a few I always vet out

On OLD they put in their bios "just looking to see where it goes" or "not sure what I'm looking for" or any variation of that hes 9 times out of 10 just looking for a hookup immediate swipe left for me

His words and actions not matching up men say a lot of things but their actions very rarely match up to their lips I dont even care what a man says anymore I 100% look to how he behaves to see his true character

In a similar vein to the last point lying something that I've noticed and has consistently baffled me is just how many men lie just for the hell of it even about minor things and when there not getting anything out of it I once had a guy tell me his roommate was in the shower when he was actually on vacation in Spain like wtf it literally didn't matter he didn't need to lie!!!

Inconsistency but thats a given

Inability to take criticism my ex used to chastise me constantly about my failure to communicate but everytime I tried to he would get upset and give me the silent treatment or flip the conversation off himself by acting insecure (eg you don't REALLY love me or care about me) or my personal favorite (your just looking for a reason to end it) so that I was left to forget about my complaint and reassure him that none of was true did I mention he ended up dumping me after all that bullshit?

unbotheredshrew · 2021-04-19T18:54:02+00:00

If they love UFC fighting and fighters.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-04-20T00:21:45+00:00

No grown men with old cartoon/movie character sheets on a twin bed, or ancient ratty house furnishings in general.

AnonPinkLady · 2021-04-21T16:35:02+00:00

If he's a obsessed with germs and think various parts of the human body are icky, thinks sharing a plate of food is gross etc. He's terrible in bed, I guarantee it. Some people will say well at least he's clean but actually even these clean freaks usually get picked up after by mommy

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-04-19T21:14:29+00:00

Eats a whole bag of sunflower seeds. The kind in the shell where they crack it in their teeth, suck out the seed and then spit that nasty shit into a cup which gets left on the table. Except you find those empty shells everywhere. All the scrotes I’ve known have loved sunflower seeds. 🌞🤷🏻‍♀️

pipeuptopipedown · 2021-04-19T16:59:58+00:00

Tattoos. The only two guys I dated with them ended up being the biggest mistakes. Sorry to those who like them, just my experience.

PrudentHare · 2021-04-20T04:55:52+00:00

Still uses “gay” as an insult

Pretend-Valuable · 2021-04-20T13:16:15+00:00

On the flip side of #3 - them having their read receipts turned off was always a specific red flag for me. Why would you not want me to know you've read the message?

pleaseunplugheater · 2021-04-20T13:52:08+00:00

A few good quotes from a former partner:

Looks down on people of his race. But believes he is a morally superior outlier of his race. “I’m the top 5% of my race...I defy all stereotypes. I expect the same behavior from you as my partner”

Holds up my hand...”look at her diamond, it’s ___ carats and from ___ wholesale supplier. No one will want to compete with me or approach her with that on her finger”

wackdemarco · 2021-04-20T16:31:04+00:00

1.) When they don't shave their legs

2.) When they use low quality images

3.) When they have that one hair cut thats like shaved on the sides with the floppy side part

4.) When they use reddit speak to describe themselves: ie "wholesome", the wolf zodiac hierarchy shit, Myers Briggs

5.) When they're obsessed with those pseudo scientific personality tests and stupid political compass tests (don't know who they are)

wet-plants · 2021-04-19T20:52:23+00:00

Wait, I'm lost - what's wrong with Jim??

Awkward-Plane-6617 · 2021-04-20T07:15:28+00:00

Was a fan of dragon ball Z as a little boy.... and still is.
Plays or played counterstrike or Catan, or Magic the Gathering

Im sure I’ll get hate mail from lurking neckbeard scrotes for this lol

LexiJay94 · 2021-04-20T14:22:52+00:00

Any opinions on horror fans? Like collecting horror movie related stuff or dressing up in a creepy aesthetic (masks etc.) ...I'm pretty sure the latter is not good. But how about in general? Any experiences?

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imstah · 2021-04-20T01:00:52+00:00

Wait wait guys - ok I've been trying to rack my brain about this unironically.. why is Jim LVM? 😁 Was it just cause he was kind of an underachiever? Cause didn't the do like everything for Pam? Or wait, was it the part with.. Karen, was it? Is that why?? I don't remember, I was kind of mentally checked out during that stage of the show, i think.. (I'm high and rambling guys but indulge me plz)

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-04-20T13:32:48+00:00

About point number three: I know US people are different in what messenger apps they use, but where I live EVERYONE uses Whatsapp. It is the standard massaging tool.

For my place a red flag could rather be the exact point in time when the convo is moved from i.e. Tinder to Whatsapp. And in my book it is more fishy when the person turns off the blue ticks. It means they can leave you on read and they can gaslight you with "but I did not see the message"

Title	Weird Red Flags?
Author	dasturkey
Upvotes	490
Comments	392
Date	April 19, 2021 4:33 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mu4jcr/weird_red_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weird-red-flags.762508 https://theredarchive.com/post/762508

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