Single men are bitter. I wonder why?

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-12-09T16:22:43+00:00

“All dating advice for men is designed to humble us.”

This resonates, and is completely baffling that it’s the default assumption.

It softens a bit once the adviser gets to know the man a little.

lolthankstinder · 2023-12-09T17:04:59+00:00

Women get pressured to not expect the perfect man. Men get pressured to not expect anything.

Since men at the top in power have zero issues with dating/sex, women love to take out their hated of the patriarchy on all the men who aren’t in power.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-12-09T16:15:33+00:00

It’s because its much harder for them to get sex and physical intimacy.

If single men could get sex with the same EASE as the average woman, this subreddit wouldn’t exist lol

pop442 · 2023-12-09T17:33:00+00:00

Women's general attitudes towards single men is exactly like how the Left perceives the Right's attitude to be towards the working class and the poor.

They think most of you are ungrateful losers who are lazy, stupid, and haven't worked hard enough to be "normal" like others.

Sometimes it's true. There are certainly lazy poor/working class people on welfare and single/sexless men who are clowns who put zero effort in themselves.

But the nuance of it all gets lost in the process.

I mean...we just went over a thread where women complained about abusive men masking their personalities or intentions until they secure the relationship.

But aren't those men technically "successful" in dating since they still manage to bag women? Ditto for men with baby mama drama and unpaid child support. Aren't they technically more romantically/sexually "successful" than single/childless men by default?

Gee....it's almost as if how decent/stable of a man you are and how much dating/sexual success you have isn't an automatic correlation.

It is what it is though. No amount of whining and crying from male Redditors or grifters from the manosphere is going to change this general sentiment because pre-selection and social proof are just too ingrained in society.

45% of women are predicted to be single and childless in the year 2030 in America. We might as well just embrace the future "Japanification" of Western society and keep it moving. Money and self-sufficiency are far more important than sex and relationships in the grand scheme of thing anyways. Maybe single men and single women without kids will both learn to embrace each other and not have negative preconceptions towards each other in the process.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-12-09T22:41:15+00:00

I think anybody, whether there is a man or a woman, would get bitter after tons and tons of awful rejections, ghosting and loneliness despite their hard work. Bitterness is a natural emotion too, just like anger, happiness sadness, etc and that comes sometimes with a valid reason.

Southern_Fall983 · 2023-12-10T07:03:19+00:00

I find it funny that when men can’t get relationships or sex, the onus is on them. If women can’t find a guy to commit to them, it’s never their fault and all men are assholes.

The hypocrisy is why discussions like this with them are completely pointless, they will not acknowledge that their failures are actually worse as they have literally every advantage with dating/sex

HamzaAghaEfukt · 2023-12-09T21:43:59+00:00

Why is this even a question at this point?

Being “single” means totally different things for men and women.

“Single” women still casually date, hookup, have fuck buddies and situationships with hot men, have simps, orbiters, and male friends, etc. Women can meet most of their needs being single and free that men need a big formal committed ‘closed’ relationship for.

Romance, chemistry, sex, intimacy, companionship, attention, validation, traveling together, etc - All can be done without relationships with different men best suited for each purpose.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-12-09T16:10:25+00:00

Let’s say as a woman I say out of compassion “I’m sorry you/men are struggling in the dating market. While their isn’t anything I personally can do to help you know I am sympathetic to your struggles.” Is that what men need to feel and do better in life and in dating?

Pacman124 · 2023-12-10T12:33:55+00:00

Damn, bro, you didn't have to spit those resonating facts

khaste · 2023-12-10T00:32:40+00:00

a lot of women think men are bitter because they are sex starved. well some might be, but the majority of men are just sick of being tossed away, ignored, not given a chance for a relationship or similar.

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2023-12-09T16:36:30+00:00

The data saying that single men are more unhappy than single women is questionable. I already posted a study that suggests that unmarried childless men are more likely to say they are "pretty happy" than unmarried childless women. Unmarried childless women in the study I saw were more likely to say they were "very happy" than unmarried childless men. But the women were also more likely to say they were "not very happy".

In other words, it seems there's more unmarried childless women who are either very happy or unhappy. Whereas the unmarried childless men cluster in the middle, being "pretty happy", or fairly content without being very unhappy or very happy.

Obviously all of this is subjective, i.e. being "very happy" vs. "pretty happy" and so on.

But it sure does seem like some people online and in the mainstream media are obsessed with telling single men how unhappy they're supposed to be and how they're supposed to be so much more unhappy than single women.

It seems to me being single isn't that bad. I can make myself pretty happy by myself without any woman bothering me or taking my money. I can jack off to porn to get my rocks off and do things I enjoy.

Kaminaxgurren · 2023-12-09T22:52:38+00:00

At this point, I am starting to believe the only way to win the game is to not play. It's just not worth it. I wanted to be a father, give my mom the grandchildren she very much wants, but unfortunately, that's just not how it works. Just isn't worth the effort and risk. I just gotta accept I will not have those things because I drew the short stick, and in the modern day, it's just not worth the extra necessary effort. I can find replacements.

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-12-09T16:33:03+00:00

There’s a miscalculation in your post because what drives depression in men and women is markedly different, as are the solutions. This is seen clear as day with the success and design of most modern therapies.

Crimson-Pilled · 2023-12-09T16:16:43+00:00

Women have neither empathy nor sympathy for men. They do not, nor are willing to, understand male loneliness separate from the female experience, and they think the suffering of that loneliness is something men deserve. It like talking to a brick wall - accepting nothing and bouncing your statements back to strike you.

Its best to come to acceptance with this over trying to blame society or "the bad ones" for women's narcissism.

EDIT: Seven responses from women and none of them deny this. I'll give women this: men do not listen to women enough. When the rubber hits the road, women are honest about how they see men. Its men's decision to not believe them to keep them up on their pedestal.

whatever8482 · 2023-12-10T22:46:55+00:00

The self improvement stuff is so easily thrown aside. I've self "improved" past a majority of people. People in relationships are not self-developed whatsoever. Especially women in relationships.

chifuyu-kun- · 2023-12-11T02:30:39+00:00

Been single my entire life.

"Bitter" is the last word that can be used to describe me.

:)

neinhaltchad · 2023-12-09T23:03:24+00:00

A lot of women asking “wElL wHaT caN wE do!?!” ITT.

By extension they ask “Do you want to compel women to have sex with these men?!?”

To which I say, actually, yes. In a way, I do want to compel modern women to consider more men as perspective partners.

I see it as kind of like the campaigns against the “Heroin Chic” trend in the 80’s / 90’s.

The fashion industry was called out and change was demanded for them to stop pushing this image lest men begin to “expect” women to look like this.

The women were called anorexic, bulimic, etc and shamed openly. Even if they were just naturally thin women like some women are.

So, ultimately, this was about compelling society and men in particular to stop having / pushing “unrealistic standards” for women.

Women, if we’re being honest, are far more likely to follow societal trends. Their sexuality relies a ton on social status and preselection.

It wasn’t magic that made many white women go from seeing young Asian men as sexless nerds to some manifestation of their K-pop fantasy. It was the masses of women flocking to them.

Women are absolutely heard animals when it comes to attraction and to deny this is to be willfully blind. History is littered with examples of men who became hot solely due to their popularity.

We live in an era where multiple studies prove, without a doubt that women see 80% of men as “below average” and women turn around and say “So what? Just do better, incel!” 💅

So, what can women do?

Demand women’s magazines to start portraying working class men as hot (and not in a fake “short kings” patronizing way)

Start calling out women who won’t date men shorter than themselves as vapid and shallow.

Start telling women that they are becoming “social media sick” just like men are told they are “porn sick”

In short, if there was a full on social campaign to popularize men with otherwise sexually undesirable / unfashionable traits to make them seen as the “in / hot / fashionable” thing, women would absolutely fuck more of those guys.

wtknight · 2023-12-09T17:32:12+00:00

it very " this is your problem, fix it" as opposed to an genuine sense of compassion for human being struggling with loneliness.

How is this "compassion" supposed to manifest from women? The solution for men's loneliness is always "have sex with us", and women's answer is going to be "No, I'm not attracted to you, and I won't be until you fix yourself".

Also, women do suggest that unsuccessful men have more of a social life outside of being dependent upon women. How is that not considered a compassionate response?

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-09T16:22:22+00:00

Let’s clarify: Single men not getting what they want are bitter.

The question is always: “well are they actually doing anything about it, or are they just complaining”

doggoflipflops · 2023-12-09T17:17:18+00:00

Man here: Not bitter, but the overall situation is just hilarious to me.

Trendy hypergamy, promiscuity, and most women heart-fully excepting fidelity and commitment from men as a given.... It just doesn't make sense to me, not practically, not mathematically. There's is a substantial percent of woman no longer interest in love but just using dating as an excuse to escape social anxiety, that's is not a sustainable behavior, how are you supposed to settle down and trust people like that???

It's been 7 years by now ever since I broke up with my long life girlfriend just to find out she was an unicorn in nowadays society. Now in my late 20s all I match with are delusional women with preconceived "kinky" expectations from previous partners.
Even if you succeed to intimate with a adult woman nowadays, you most likely are going to find out you need to get out of there as soon as possible....

No wonder grooming and other disgusting dating behavior are still a thing in 2023....

Lenovo_Driver · 2023-12-09T16:11:30+00:00

Another day, another L post.

It’s crazy how in one post red pilled dudes will be like “hurr durr the wall, you won’t be able to get any man to commit, they only want sex” and then come to a new post and talk about how women can now get a guy by doing nothing..

It’s even funnier that this is coming from the dudes who complain the loudest about never wanting to beta buxx. They claim that men are right to be angry and bitter about being used for their money, yet don’t at all see the irony about women not wanting to be used for their vagina.

L

theambivalentrooster · 2023-12-09T17:08:56+00:00

The second a sex starved man gets a crumb of attention from even the most passably attractive woman, he will take it as a sign of sexual attraction from her and pitch a hysterical fit when that turns out not to be the case.

It’s not worth it from a woman’s perspective to be a shoulder to cry on for these guys. Because they invariably turn around and try to fuck the women.

VoltairesBarista · 2023-12-10T08:44:33+00:00

What exactly do single men want? A shoulder to cry on? To have a little cry and be told your special? Dating is supply and demand it can’t get much simpler.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-09T17:59:33+00:00

I will tell you one thing and you will absolutely hate me for it. But here it goes.

There is one common theme with all you needy, lonely, desperate guys. It's all be me me me me me me. Why aren't others showing ME compassion, why don't women want to fuck ME, why do women ignore ME, why aren't women giving ME validation, me me me me me mememmemememememmemememememme.

You guys are so self centered and selfish, only looking to take from others. It's all about what you can extract from other people, especially women. Whether it's some attention, empathy, approval, a phone number, sex! Do you stop for even a second and think "Hey, what do others want? What can I give them that will make THEM feel good about themselves? What are they interested in?"

I bet you haven't thought about this for longer than a second because you are so self obsessed with me me me me me me me me me me. People don't find others who want to take from them, very appealing. As a matter of fact, they are forced to reject them, because nobody likes being taken from. People like people who give them something and make them feel good about themselves. Whether that's a compliment or taking interest in them as a person.

But I get it! YOU want empathy, YOU want sex, YOU want intimacy. Just not sure if there is anything of value YOU give other people.

ZaWarudo234 · 2023-12-10T02:07:14+00:00

This one really hit home with me. I've been feeling the same feelings for a while now. I look around and see people not putting in anywhere near the same effort I am, just to turn around and tell me to improve and get better. And I'm just supposed to pretend like it's no big deal and that it doesn't hurt, because it's also my responsibility to heal my self and cut my arm off to pay for therapy ( even though these people probably don't go themselves.). Most of the people making these demands usually aren't worth the effort they demand,and I do think it is because they are hearing the exact opposite while men are kicked while they're down.

Azihayya · 2023-12-10T22:03:19+00:00

Like no conception of how societal expectations based on gender and failure to reach them doesn't affect us mentally in-spite of their rallying cry against beauty standards and for body positivity

WTF does this mean in any reasonable or practicable terms? Women had a body positivity movement--men can have a body positivity movement, too.

I think a big part of the problem with having this "woe is men, we don't get a grief/sympathy movement" attitude is that there are SOOOOOOO many guys, online, in real life, who use this faux "grief counseling" concept as a way of advocating for their reactionary concepts about gender roles. Oftentimes, there's no practicable applicability to this vague notion of "men's loneliness awareness"--like, sure, let's maybe be sensitive about it--but more often than not, men are trying to pin this problem onto women, and looking to women to solve the problem, and being sensitive often empowers men to continue pushing a reactionary narrative.

If men want these sympathy movements, then they need to make them for themselves--not host reactionary podcasts and make reactionary posts online about how feminism is destroying the fabric of society and denigrating men's rights. Women have body positivity now because they galvanized as a gender group behind that cause in support of each other.

The cold hard truth is, that if men actually took the advice of women, when they are constantly talking about the improvements that they want to see men make in relationships, that men WOULD have a better chance of finding and keeping a partner. A lot of guys don't want to accept that they're simply unwilling to let go of a lot of their unhealthy and reactionary beliefs, believing them to be truths instead, in spite of how negatively their beliefs impact their quality as a partner.

Yeah, single guys are bitter as fuck, and I, personally, am not going to make excuses for them--men as a gender group have a ton of problems that stem from early development gender role expectations, etc. Women these days have their liberty, they have their education, and from an early age they're taught how to keep their shit together and take care of themselves, and the same isn't true for guys. You guys do need to hear that shit, because it IS your fault, and it's something that only you can improve.

Go start a local "genetic dead-end men's grief" chapter, dude. Do something positive for your struggling community. Your guys movement is DOMINATED by rhetoric from blatant misogynists like Andrew Tate, the red pill, and even PPD, which continues to describe women as being unwitting victims of their biological nature that turns them into liars who say they want a nice guy, but who will chase handsome bad guys, and who will betray you if you show them at the first sign of weakness. Maybe if you guys actually turned the finger on the right people, you would start to see progress.

StrikingAd8556 · 2023-12-09T19:12:44+00:00

Very well written. I think this is also generally why men are drawn to movies which women love to point out "it's satire! The director is actually a trans radical misandrist, the movie was meant to make fun of men!"

Becoming Patrick Bateman or Tyler Durden is really one of the few antidotes to the struggle that men face. The female satire component ignores the reality for men. We can't just give up the way women do and fall ass backwards into a successful sex life or rise up the corporate ladder by virtue of being a girl boss. Being a man is being at war with a world that wants to fight against you simply because of what is between your legs.

Look at that journalist who ended up killing herself in part because she went undercover as a man to expose male privilege, but found out it doesn't actually exist.

Proudvow · 2023-12-09T17:43:19+00:00

And the thing is while the red pill also blames the individual, it's based on observable facts. You aren't fit enough, you don't make enough money, you don't pursue enough women, etc.; if this stuff applies to you then you know it does and how to fix it. The advice is actionable.

The blue pill makes all sorts of personal character accusations that aren't necessarily valid. You're shallow, have high standards, objectify women, are misogynistic, leak out your bitterness, give off desperation, have porn addiction, are obssessed with sex, want to be Chad, etc. Most of these traits are either developed after the dude already failed at dating (and thus aren't the cause), aren't any more likely to be had by an unsuccessful guy than a successful guy, or aren't actually relevant to his dating performance. You can change your mindset in 1 minute but it's not gonna suddenly make you desirable to women.

Realistically many of the lonely guys aren't guilty of any of the above stuff, and some have the opposite problem of being too slow, soft, and considerate towards women. But people just assume negative things anyway because single man bad.

bluepvtstorm · 2023-12-09T17:09:55+00:00

I have questions, are you bitter because you don’t have sex or are you bitter because you are lonely?

Women are willing to be friends with just about anyone and you except when there are expectations beyond friendship. Like if you want a friend that you can talk to and have conversations with or play pool then sure women are willing to do that. If you are a decent human and not trying fuck her then you can probably have an even stronger emotional connection but the problem is that friendship has to be genuine and based on nothing except being friends.

No sitting in the corner and waiting for her to see how amazing you are, no judging who she dates in comparison to you, no holding out hope that she will someday be the one.

Also if you are looking for a friend then you could be friends with almost any woman even if she isn’t your type. You can just be friends with the fat, nerdy 40 year old because you are looking for a friend to combat loneliness.

MarjieJ98354 · 2023-12-09T19:20:36+00:00

All I can say is that if a woman has accepted her fate in life, she really does not need to change FOR A MAN. She changes to give back. I'm 60 now. I'm overweight, but healthy. I'm not going to spend 12 hours a days in the gym while starving myself to get an overweight 60 year old man that leeches off of me. I work with what I can. I work to be the best at my job; as well as learning to create a retail website to make money as a side gig. Once I become independently wealthy enough to retire, I hope to travel to another country and date a man half my age that doesn't mind women being old and overweight. This may seem transactional, but I'm not trying to make it that way, but I know it will be to a certain extent. Hell, most lonely old women will give her wealth and a big house to her 12 cats! But if I'm able to create wealth for myself, I don't want to die without giving wealth and experience to someone that is deserving of a better chance at life. If he treats me well while I'm with him, I'm not worried about what he is doing out of my sight. And when I die, I'm not going tell him to never move on, as if I could. I would want him to live his dream life. But I damn sure am not going to put up with anyone that has nothing good to give back to the world! This is my goal in finding a last chance relationship. If it doesn't happen, then that's ok too!!

Lyzard9666 · 2023-12-09T16:00:20+00:00

That bitter energy is exactly what is turning women away from you though. So maybe work on yourself instead of justifying not having to change.

Honestly_RedditSucks · 2023-12-10T04:30:44+00:00

Imagine working your tail off and not being able to afford a car.

Now imagine someone else doesn't have a job, but has an app that will deliver any car they want to drive any time they want it.

Wonder why first scenario is bitter?

topplingtyranny · 2023-12-10T01:54:01+00:00

I personally don’t care at this point, but women are destroying the economy, and by extension they will drag the government down with it, along with natural and human habitats. Women can gloat all they want, the data doesn’t lie and women will suffer more when it happens. Men tend to thrive much more when confronted by challenge and chaos 🤷‍♂️

Glittering_File_6990 · 2023-12-10T05:09:40+00:00

You ok bro?

Safinated · 2023-12-09T16:18:31+00:00

Because you have a male sex drive, obviously

obviousredflag · 2023-12-10T11:36:11+00:00

You don't have to take the red pill and hang out in toxic places like this or others. You can just take the blue pill and live your life in the real world. There, you will be told you are good just as you are, you are enough, you don't need to change to be loveable, etc.

You chose this path for yourself.

Single men are not bitter. Chronically single men who hang out in the manosphere are bitter.

tawny-she-wolf · 2023-12-09T17:34:03+00:00

I get that not being able to achieve your goal of having a partner and a family can make a man unhappy, however what am I supposed to do about it ? Women have fought for their rights and have "evolved". Men have mostly stagnated and refused to make the necessary adjustments as this means giving up some of their male privilege i.e. they think it's cool she's now paying for half the stuff but don't see why they now have to do half the chores and child rearing. Men need to get up with the times and better themselves because women (especially educated and successful women) are realizing a lot of these men don't contribute anything positive to their lives that they can't provide for themselves and feel more like a ball and chain around their ankle - so why entertain these men ? Better to hold out until a decent partner comes along or stay single.

The bitterness doesn't make it better, it becomes a vicious cycle - can't find a woman so turns bitter, bitterness turns off women and repeat.

captainhowdy82 · 2023-12-09T18:54:57+00:00

Part of the reason why it’s hard to have empathy for red pill guys is because they don’t actually blame themselves for their state, they blame women. How am I supposed to be like “oh, poor baby” to someone who believes women are like evil, conniving, selfish manipulators? Even this post, while not explicitly saying there’s something evil and bad about women, it’s still blaming women. Like it’s OUR fault these guys are misogynists because when they complain and shit on women all day, we don’t respond with unconditional support and pity.

Also, the grass is always greener, you know? Maybe from the male perspective, it seems like women can just “manifest” themselves a relationship. No, that’s definitely not a thing. All of the positive “you are enough” talk is actually the result of women being told by society for the longest time (up until just a few decades ago) that we WEREN’T enough. That our value was in beauty and having babies and being a mother. That’s it. Women are expected to give up themselves entirely to be nurturing to men and children. You don’t get a career or a job or property or your own proud sense of carrying on the family name or anything. And if you fail to land a husband, you are shit out of luck. Like literally. You can’t just get a job and be satisfied with taking care of yourself. You can’t do that. If you’re not a wife and/or mother, then you’re a spinster or an old maid and society has literally zero use for you. So that’s why women take the time to build each other up and tell them “you are enough.” Men have always had inherent value to society, so they don’t need to basically reprogram the whole social system just to get treated as a human. They’ve always been “enough.”

Eowyn_In_Armor · 2023-12-09T22:25:56+00:00

I mean, there is a whole ass movie about men seeing themselves as enough without getting that validation from a woman… but they won’t go see it cuz it’s titled “Barbie”.

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G0dZylla · 2023-12-09T21:00:09+00:00

yup the general idea i saw after two years of scrolling to thousands of posts about relationships is that men need to change , they are the problem, they lack something, they can't be succesful without changing something of themselves they are always flawed by defauly. While women don't need to change, they are intrinsically wonderful and they are enough

it's useless yall try to deny this, it's the truth here on reddit, and people wonder why some men are bitter. Anyway it doesn't matter in the end we all know what really matters in relationships, before being social creatures, we are animals governed by thousands of years of evolution. and we all know what evolution wants in a man...

Gilmoregirlin · 2023-12-09T21:42:20+00:00

Seriously? Yet another post about how women need to lower their standards? Let me shut this down once and for all and tell you that is not going to happen. Nor should you want it to happen. I simply cannot understand why anyone would want someone to lower their standards to be with them. That individual must have extremely low self esteem which is probably part of the reason why women don’t find them attractive.

Single women are happier because they don’t equate loneliness with lack of sex. One could be getting sex nightly from a different man and still be very lonely. In fact most women are very lonely in that siutation. They fill their lives with friends, family, travel, volunteering. Their whole life is not geared towards men. And while getting laid may be easier for women than men, most women don’t want that. They want a relationship and genuine human connection.

I do empathize with men, I think they have it hard but in a different way than women it is for women. But you can empathize and still not want to date someone who you are not attracted to. If empathy caused you to date men you don’t want to date that is more pity than empathy. I don’t understand what you are trying to get out of empathy.? I think the reason the advice is generally for men to change is because it’s easier to change yourself than it is to change others.

Seaside877 · 2023-12-09T21:42:50+00:00

Stop being stupid and work on yourself in all aspects. Not for women, but for you. Everything will work itself out from there. Skipping this step and expecting good outcomes…wonder how that is gonna turn out. Is it harsh? Yes. Is it impossible? No, it’s actually very possible and you’re holding yourself back.

Anansi3003 · 2023-12-09T23:30:03+00:00

oh this is refreshing for once. good post op

coping_man · 2023-12-09T23:30:12+00:00

not much you can do

dont hold out for women to help you out cause uh theyre here to pass go and slam dunk on the men, collect handouts and then call the government oppressive as it prints out food stamps and gives away flatscreen TVs for em

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-12-09T23:59:51+00:00

My dating advice is the exact same for everyone. In the past month how many times have you went out socially? Do you even have friends? How many invites to weddings, functions, Happy hours, etc did you turn down? What are your hobbies and if you have a single one why aren't you in a group for that hobby.

Socialize. Socialize all the fucking time. Throw yourself into social situations. If people avoid you ask someone you trust to be brutally honest: what is wrong with you? Chances are you have the charisma of a toaster bath bomb too.

Knight-Bishop · 2023-12-10T00:36:39+00:00

No— the red pill attracts experts on female nature like myself. A dude who would wipe the floor with just about anyone in terms of my elite understanding of this stuff.

Ambitious_Yam1677 · 2023-12-10T01:15:44+00:00

I saw this post and several woman said this, so I’ll say it again. It’s how society is set up and the standards we put on men and women. Men are told to “tough it up” - mainly by other men. They aren’t taught to reach out to friends. Women on the other hand are taught this. So they rely on their connections so they feel more satisfaction.

After reading this post, I must say you sound really hurt. Please consider therapy because I believe it could help.

But to answer your point as a young woman who has never dated anyone and asked out dozens of guys, it’s not just men, it’s women too.

As for dating advice, it’s not always going to get you a guy. You can be in shape, be a model, have a great personality, but still not get a man. If some come your way, the attention isn’t great. I’ve legit had random guys in classes ask me to send pics to masturbate. I’ve had instances where men will want to be with me, but only for my body. That or they have intentions to harm me. Not to mention that there are plenty of articles blaming women. Look at movements to end no fault marriage. It’s telling women they’re the reason men are alone.

The whole “men are not enough” is a thing men aren’t told by other men. If men said this to each other and showed some emotion, it would help out. However, there are plenty of women who feel they aren’t enough and add on more and more especially when an abuser constantly tells them this. There are so many working Mom’s who also feel they aren’t doing enough even though they are the ones mainly taking care of the child and doing household chores, while also having a full time job.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-10T01:30:12+00:00

Uh yeah I can live with it. I accept it as the way things are supposed to be men are the sex meant to be told its our fault and to keep improving we're made for it. Women are meant to be sympathized with.

There is no equality in nature in reality we're two different sides of the same coin and so different treatment and expectations evolve from that fundamental rift.

TWCDev · 2023-12-10T01:52:05+00:00

It’s not women who are saying those things, it’s everyone who is successful. I’m “successful” i guess (live with my 2 bisexual partners, extra women asking if they can join or at least have fun sometime, I’m overweight, 5’9”, in my 40s, but i guess conventionally attractive for a man), and i normally always just tell guys “work on yourself”, “stop trying to date and just focus on becoming amazing at a coed activity without asking out people (i became a photographer and never try to date models, but my partners have been on the fringes of models i work with), stop fixating on your own pleasure so much (guys should give 3-5 orgasms before they expect 1, which often means telling the woman no more to avoid cumming)

I don’t understand why guys are so lonely if they don’t do the things to be good at dating. Most of my women friends (most of my friends are women) if they choose to be single, are actually really single like no sex, nothing. That’s something a lot of lonely guys don’t believe. They think because it’s so easy for women to have sex, that they all are. even if they’re gorgeous, if they’re choosing to be single, they don’t have sex. Yes, it’s frustrating for me, not gonna lie, especially if they talk about sex all the time, because they i work in porn and I’m available, but no, they just don’t. They’ve had too many bad experiences and too much bad sex with selfish guys, so they’ve given up.
The fact that so many guys have ruined women’s sexual experiences is super frustrating,but i don’t care who doesn’t want to date me ,i care about who i want to date out of the people who wants to date me.

Serial daters, including built, “handsome” men, often don’t choose they’ll sleep with, they go on an app, swipe to everything without looking at the girls, then whichever girls respond, they choose the ones they like and ghost the rest (i’m not suggesting ghosting is good, but i understand the logic behind why people ghost). Meanwhile the guys i know who are lonely are moaning about some specific girl they exchanged 3 messages with and then got ghosted or something. Why? I don’t know, just something different in they psychology that doesn’t seem ideal for the modern world:

But I’m going to think more on how to give advice that works with more sympathy. I don’t know if there is a good piece of advice for lonely guys, and it sucks. I hope ya’ll figure it out.

plastic_secertary01 · 2023-12-10T04:32:19+00:00

One of my bfs friend has purposely tried to cause friction in our relationship. He’s been single his whole life and shags girls 24/7. Huge narcissist, severely insecure and my bf left his hoe era with his wing man for his future wife and kids

userfz · 2023-12-10T05:01:21+00:00

As a woman I’m sorry for everything you men have to go through in the dating market…

The_Madman1 · 2023-12-10T09:17:11+00:00

I have met women where they are the "ugly women and they still have had sex with heaps of men with ease and no trouble. They even decline to come and see me when I live alone lol. As a man you would jump at the chance. I am 5ft 7 and all I see are women with tall men everywhere. These women are same height as me or slightly lower. I look like I am 18 and I am 28, there is no shot a girl will be into me.

Yet most of the women claim they are finding it hard to meet men. Idk it seems as I am in my late 20s that women only look at a few preferences like height and looks and then its time to find out the personalities.

I probably won't ever get a girlfriend again even though I own my own property and live alone.

d_bradr · 2023-12-10T10:56:44+00:00

Not here ro provoke a turf war, but if a girl is single that's her choice. Ask 10 guys out and see how it pans out. For guys, you're one extra to the pile to sift through. You can be on top of your game, tall, fit, rich, hot, whatever, but you're another one in the pile that she needs to sift through. Girls just need to make the first move to get a date, it's their choice

That's why single girls are happier than single guys. Usually single girls wanna be single (if you don't wanna be single you know ehat to do), and usually single guys wanna be in a relationship but the ball doesn't wanna roll that way

Every piece of advice is "Work on yourself" like working on yourself = getting a girl. And ironically that advice mostly comes from "Don't owe you anything" girls. If I work on myself I'll for sure get a girl but the girl doesn't owe me anything? Huh?

earthrisingfire · 2023-12-10T22:06:04+00:00

I think the focus for both men and women should be the same, work on yourself, be okay with being alone first, etc. However, I agree that women are met with far more compassion from their counterparts than men, often even blindly. I try to tell my girlfriends when their choices are leading them to unsuccessful relationships or bad dating experiences, yet the focus for women is often to “be nice and understand where they’re coming from”. I’m not sure that’s necessarily bad, but men also struggle with this. They should also be told where their faults are in ways that don’t just blame them.

Ectoplasmic1984 · 2023-12-11T00:44:01+00:00

probably because for all time, women are in abundance by default, but men are in scarcity by default due to how one-sided it is, on which gender makes passes at one another, comes onto someone or makes advances on someone

Emergency-Escape1708 · 2023-12-13T10:24:01+00:00

God man, just let it go. Men and women were always antagonistic towards each other. Their mating strategies are opposing in nature. This conflict is probably as old as the human species and even further back. It will never end till the end of time. Try not to let yourself carried away because at the end of the day women age and smell and shit and have bizarre behaviors too. Romanticizing women is best left to the higher arts. Forget about this nonsense and try to do something with life.

moutnmn87 · 2024-01-05T21:13:16+00:00

I dislike the whole concept of blame being part of the discussion when it comes to romantic success. In reality it is a lottery. Sure there are things one can do to increase the odds but no strategy should be seen as a sure bet for romantic success. I have never been desperate to find romance but still ended up in a romantic relationship. I absolutely recognize that us finding each other was to a large extent due to chance. Sure I went on a dating app and chatted with people but it never was a sure thing anywhere close to other things in life like my my phone coming on when I hit the power button

vanguard1099 · 2024-01-26T12:54:51+00:00

Good key points here! Well said. Its like its all a mans fault and the circumstances fall on his plate and yet he has to do all the competitive work to get that one woman on a date. She does nothing but sit back on the apps and scroll through the perfect ones she wants.

gabishes · 2023-12-09T16:15:37+00:00

Women’s advice for women being, focus on loving yourself so you can be in the right headspace to enter a relationship. And “manifest” ie visualize or identify the kind of man you want to be with and pick him. I don’t see the problem. Women have built their own community around protecting each other and healing from shitty men. Because the fact of the matter is the misogyny is a real threat to women. It is undeniable it exists at this point. So the oppressed group has a kind disposition to its in members.

Of course the oppressed group will tell the oppressors “You need to do better, stop hurting us, stop oppressing us. Its on you to make the changes we need to feel safe” The only recourse women have to this perceived danger/oppression is to be selective when dating. So if you are a man who is outwardly misogynistic or doesnt conceal their misogyny well enough, nobody will want to fuck you. Its just easier to work on yourself than get better at hiding misogyny.

If you are upset about women having community around their shared experiences, maybe reflect on why they need kindness and compassion from their peers.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-12-09T16:26:57+00:00

It's normality to have to come to terms with not being a total winner in everything we do. Like... literally everyone in the bottom two thirds of the economy gotta deal with that dynamic of not being the official economic Winner of the Game. A large proportion of disabled people gotta live with it. Everyone whose family background gave opportunities they were never going to be smart enough or emotionally stable enough to take full advantage of gotta live with it.

So you're not the official Winner of the Game. Grow the fuck up and join the teeming masses of people who are similarly not the official Winner of the Game. You didn't get the be the Main Character. You didn't get plot armour when you misused your time or made dumb decisions or were just unlucky.

In no way does any of that make you goddamn special and it isn't a woman's duty to be young, beautiful, low n count, agreeable and act as a visible victory trophy for you. She doesn't want to deal with your failure bullshit while she's dealing with her's. She already has to deal with being responsible for herself the very least she can expect is for you to start holding yourself responsible for yourself.

You guys make yourself unfit for any woman who holds herself responsible for her own life. Because those women are better than men who don't hold.themselves responsible and romantic alliance with men who don't hold themselves responsible represents a huge loss to their ability to enjoy their own hard won peace.

The match of men who think like you is some psycho borderline life ruining bitch. And even they have enough lucid moments to know that kinda sucks.

Siliconmage76 · 2023-12-09T16:10:33+00:00

You sound like a woman. "I need compaaaaaaassion! Why won't anyone tell me how great I am online when I whine like giiiiiirl???!"

Go whine to mama or your sister or best friend that's a girl. Don't go crying online because you aren't gonna get support and sympathy. This isn't the forum for that

Man the f up and get control of your emotions. Feel them, process them and then discard them. Because if you are this emotional upset about not being able to have the dating success you want now. You have no idea what hell you'll endure if you actually got what you want.

Look, being single is in many ways superior to being in a relationship. Relationships are hell at times. Being single is not a shameful thing. Neither is being a virgin.

What is shameful is being overly emotive child man.

aurelian667 · 2023-12-09T19:37:07+00:00

99% of posts by men in this subreddit are guys apparently just finding out that women don't care whether they are happy or not. How can you be an adult male and not realise this?

Women have never and will never care whether you are happy or not. Perhaps if men stopped treating them like equals and started treating them like the hostile out-group that they are, society would become somewhat brighter for young men. Women's whims have conquered society precisely because they have spent the past 100 years acting entirely selfishly and not stopping to think for one second about how their actions will affect men. If men did the same for a decade we could turn society into a patriarchal paradise, but it would require treating women's feelings like they treat ours, something 99% of men are too cowardly to do.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-12-09T16:06:28+00:00

Op, this post says more about you, than it does about “woman”

Tywinlol · 2023-12-09T16:40:45+00:00

Too significant degree you are right, but asking for compassion from them is pointless. Society does tell men that they are nothing without winning the race for pussy, are defective if they refuse too participate and have too constantly improve and bring benefit to females and society or else they are judged and excluded. For females advice is you are a Queen, world rotates around, if you pick one of unworthy peasants to be your sperm/cash donor then great, he should worship ground you walk for the honor, and if not you great on your own, you go boss babe.

The solution is not to complain about hypocrisy, all do it is beneficial to highlight it from time to time, especially in forums like this one. However, you will just get mocked and insulted, responses in this trend are great example, vast majority of females, their white knight slaves have no empathy for men. The solution is to ignore them and society, figure out what is beneficial and pleasurable for you, and then to walk that path, minimizing expenses, maximizing profits, protecting your health and enjoying life. Its not beneficial to the society, and the more men embrace it the closer it comes to collapse, but we owe nothing to the society that abuses and exploits us, same goes for females.

Secure-Ad-421 · 2023-12-09T20:01:56+00:00

Just pay for sex Jesus christ

Familiesarenations · 2023-12-09T22:21:12+00:00

If their rants are anything to go by, men who get rejected a lot do not have poor self-esteem and they do not blame themselves. They blame women. Don't expect a lot of compassion for that.

Outlandishnessness · 2023-12-10T13:54:30+00:00

For those with ADHD - The short answer is Women are happier cuz they control the goal and keep moving the goal post and they ain't shit to you about it. EVER.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-12-09T17:26:23+00:00

Single men are bitter the same reason any player in league below diamond is bitter. External locus of control

Sophiatab · 2023-12-10T19:56:34+00:00

“All dating advice for men is designed to humble us.”

That is because arrogance and entitlement are two of the major factors that hinder male dating. Too many men act like women's only purpose in life is to serve their boyfriends or husbands. Naturally, this repulses any women with self-respect.

DustAffectionate5525 · 2023-12-09T17:19:08+00:00

imagine grouping every single single guy into one category based off of the small population of single men on reddit and basing your future dating decisions on this. lol

~ andy

ArmDiscombobulated29 · 2023-12-09T21:12:47+00:00

Single guys are scary if he ain’t getting cooter he might turn into a shooter

Single guys are often bitter and more depressed and that just drags everyone else down so smart ppl cut them off so they can take that misery somewhere else

Twinseo09 · 2023-12-10T00:24:36+00:00

Women's dating advice is tempered by their ridiculous optionality to the point they can literally do nothing and still get a guy.

Who are these men that women can attract by simply existing? Who are these men who will accept a woman who does nothing on her part and still be content with her? It seems like men with limited options are projecting what they would do. Or, are you suggesting that men are indiscriminate and have no standards for relationships?

And even if they fail, like completely fail the impetus to change is on them because general dating advice doesn't look them square in the eye and tell them that they might be the problem. Its all sympathy, oceans of understanding and compassion for their loneliness and affirmation "You are enough"

Dating advice for women aims to provide guidelines to help them achieve their desired outcomes. There have been entire videos, channels, TV shows and more centered around instructing women on how to dress, behave, what to avoid, how to respond, and more. Women wouldn't feel the need to seek advice and change themselves if they didn't perceive something problematic with themselves.

Most advice from men indeed tends to focus on solving the problem at hand. However, the question then arises: what is the key to receiving positive reinforcement in such a situation? The only means is self improve for men to gain positive reinforcement. Unless your suggesting something else.

begrydgerer · 2023-12-10T00:43:54+00:00

If u hate women so much why don't u just date men?

bluehorserunning · 2023-12-10T09:26:35+00:00

Two points:

First, plenty of women choose to be “genetic dead ends.” It’s not an unreasonable thing to choose in this culture. There’s a good chance men don’t get sympathy for that because it’s just not that bad of a thing.

Second, the men who are being told to change and humble themselves are the me. with unreasonable asks: the dudes who want a bangmaid, whether they’d phrase it like that or not. The dudes who think they’re superior to women just because they’re men. The dudes who want “submissive” women. Why should a woman “submit” to anyone, much less the person who’s supposed to be her partner?

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-12-09T21:41:45+00:00

The bitter ones are just young guys that are sexually frustrated and broke..You can get all the sex you can afford you just need money..

Now if your not attractive a woman will never love you that's just a pill you have to swallow and live with.

mechanical_fish_81 · 2023-12-09T16:19:22+00:00

Mate, read Married Red Pill, despite you not being married you really need to apply the advice to your own life.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

If you are new, and reading this, I guarantee you that you have no idea how to STFU. Even guys who have been here a while still struggle with their STFU.

First of all, let’s cover this: you do not talk about fight club. You DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB! However you want to phrase it, you STFU about fight club. There’s no point in stepping on your own dick.

Second, when your wife is fighting with you, you do not engage. Do you think that arguing with her and having verbal diarrhea of the mouth is going to get you anywhere? No. Are you trying to argue with a woman’s hamster? Newsflash: women’s hamsters eat logic and shit more hamsters. You need to STFU unless you want to deal with a shitton of hamsters.

Third, don’t open your mouth if what will come out of it is unattractive. Be attractive (A). Don’t be unattractive. Call it the attractive filter on your mouth. Don’t say stupid stuff. Don’t say stuff that makes you look bad. Just shut up.

Fourth, don’t go to your wife for validating behavior. So you lost five pounds. You fixed the things around the house you said you would. You bench-pressed more than the bar. You took the car for repairs and an oil change and got it running again. Good for you. Take that cup of STFU and drink it deeply. You shut up. You don’t talk about the stuff that you should have been doing anyway. You act like a man who has their shit together. Let me repeat that: YOU ACT LIKE A MAN WHO HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER. Men don’t go to mommy and say “Look at me and how well I did.”

Fifth, with regards to shit tests, if you are a beginner, you need to learn how to STFU. You will be tested once you start making positive changes in your life.

bronzerblush · 2023-12-09T17:20:55+00:00

I don’t feel sorry for lonely men. They all (or most) had a woman but didn’t want to make it work. Their loneliness is a result of their inability to appreciate what they have and their inability to replace what they lost.

Single men are bitter. I wonder why?

Comments

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”

Title	Single men are bitter. I wonder why?
Author	AdEffective7894s
Upvotes	253
Comments	960
Date	December 9, 2023 3:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18eggnk/single_men_are_bitter_i_wonder_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/single-men-are-bitter-i-wonder-why.1240259 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240259