Pretty much every woman I know, who likes both genders, admits dating women is way harder.

Many (straight) women are used to taking the passive role in the relationship (at least in the beginning), and they communicate covertly. But they often assume the things they want are overt, and should be common knowledge.

It’s only often when they start dating women they can actually fully grasp it.

I’m 29, and in my early 20s I went on so many 1st dates with women… and almost every time they didn’t feel a spark, but wanted to stay friends. I didn’t think my photos were misleading, and while I do understand compatibility is hard to find, getting auto-rejected after a date but they still like you eventually hits your self-esteem hard.

You think, am I not attractive enough? Did I do something wrong? Should I have done something different?

Then my best guy friend basically hit me with the “If you don’t kiss them by the end of date 1, you’re getting friend-zoned.” And it worked.

Basically, a large % of women want you to bear the entire brunt of rejection in the beginning of the relationship. This might not be something they even inherently realize they’re doing, or even have experience to know how this feels… it’s just something they’re accustomed to.

They assume if you like them, you’ll approach them. You’ll ask them out. You’ll text them first. You’ll plan the date, be charming, ramp up the flirting, slowly escalate physically, be able to read their body language perfectly to know what they want and don’t want.

And you can ask them, sure, but for many women that kills the mood. This is a higher % than many women will admit in discussion. Many women want to be seduced like a romance movie.

The problem is, this doesn’t usually work when it’s two women. Especially two femme women who also date men. “Useless lesbian” is a stereotype for a reason… so is “the lesbian sheep effect.”

Suddenly, now women realize how nerve-wracking it is to try to pursue a woman, how much assertiveness is required to make anything happen, how many women flirt without actually meaning it, how much rejection you’re risking because the woman is communicating covertly.

And it’s not just rejection that you’re risking, but them thinking that you’re weird or too pushy. It’s a fine line between too passive and too aggressive, and because different women want different things… and often are not communicating them as overtly as men do, you’re constantly treading that line.

I disagree with a lot of things on here, but this is one I firmly stand on with men. Dating women is much harder. Many straight women who claim “the bar is in hell” (yes, I know many are referring to LTRs) wouldn’t be able to pickup a woman tonight if their life depended on it.

Their self-esteem would be in the gutter from all the auto-rejections, and they would not handle it as well as men are expected to.

Now, relationships? That’s another story and I think there’s pros and cons to being committed to both genders.

(If you’re going to comment something funny, at least leave it with 1 tiny debate so mods don’t delete it 😬 I like reading the funny comments)