What's your shallowest turnoff ?

Fabulous-Housing102 · 2021-10-22T17:51:42+00:00

Bad dresser. Just turns me right off.

Siukslinis_acc · 2021-10-22T19:43:36+00:00

Voice and/or the way the person talks.

alphastarfox13 · 2021-10-23T02:42:29+00:00

Having dated someone with BPD, BPD is on the top of my list too. Fuck that shit. And the crazy thing is there are a ton of women who are undiagnosed BPD and their boyfriends are probably just thinking "my girlfriend is crazy" without knowing the reasons why.

jax006 · 2021-10-22T19:15:20+00:00

One time I dated a girl who didn't know who Edward Snowden was and it was a giant turnoff

Taipanshimshon · 2021-10-22T18:37:05+00:00

Being stupid/ uneducated/ poorly read yet insisting you know things

Coyotesgirl1123 · 2021-10-22T18:04:02+00:00

People who yell when they’re angry/frustrated. At video games, at traffic, at other people, whatever. Of course I don’t care if you get annoyed sometimes, but if you shout, you instantly remind me of a toddler having a temper tantrum. Act like an adult and deal with it.

phantomdilletante · 2021-10-23T00:44:13+00:00

For me, it’s blatant gender essentialism, as in her thinking “X is what a REAL man does,” and then judging whether I’m truly a man or not according to that standard in her own head. I even hate it when I sense from her that I’ve “passed” and she judges me positively to be a man, because it feels like I’ve just been placed under a microscope without my consent. Unfortunately, that kind of mindset is frustratingly common, so I’ve given up dating altogether for the moment until I can find a way around that sort of thing

dualhammers · 2021-10-22T22:36:08+00:00

Lack of compassion. Hearing someone say "I have enough problems without having to console you" would cause all interest in that person to instantly evaporate.

DjangoUBlackBastard · 2021-10-22T18:16:23+00:00

Most of these including the OP aren't shallow at all.

Pigeon-in-Boots · 2021-10-22T19:02:52+00:00

Owning reptiles or fish.

Spread-Em-Plz · 2021-10-22T20:27:57+00:00

I'll give yall some shallow ones

A scratchy voice,
Smells weird (not from bad hygiene, just naturally smells...weird)
If she tries to make me unfollow Hoodville
Doesn't laugh at my jokes enough
Too moody/melancholy
Too many followers on social media (EXCEPTION: If she promotes business or another type of hobby page.)
Too normal
If she calls having simple fun "childish" (there IS a clear boundary here, but some people are too quick imo to call stuff childish/immature)

My most petty turn off though is if she taps me on the shoulder too much. That would begin to irritate the ever loving shit out of me. I've legitimately had friends I begun to lessen contact with over this. It's indescribably frustrating and annoying.

YogiTy1988 · 2021-10-22T23:07:35+00:00

Women who make everything about how good their ass looks.

aquamanouttawater · 2021-10-22T17:59:56+00:00

Entitled princess mentality, they get snarky for no reason and expect to be pampered by everyone when they don’t even give basic human respect.

TheBurningSoda · 2021-10-22T18:00:47+00:00

Nosering in the middle. She will remind me of a cow.

rn7889 · 2021-10-23T01:26:29+00:00

Overly nice, naive Christian type of girls who have a false sense of confidence and arrogance about them. Just the most generic human that exists. I’m immediately repulsed by anything they say.

thevghr · 2021-10-23T08:33:35+00:00

If you need to drink, or smoke pot to have a good time.

Scores_Man_Mund · 2021-10-22T19:43:26+00:00

Generic answers on a dating profile. I don't care if you're the hottest woman who was ever born, If I see "the way to my heart is food" on your hinge profile you instantly became unattractive to me

tonyghow · 2021-10-22T21:52:10+00:00

People who call their dog: “doggo”, “pupper”, or “fur baby”

Few_Supermarket_4450 · 2021-10-22T20:12:23+00:00

Women who speak like men. Dude, bro,n**ga, g

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-22T17:53:57+00:00

Teeth.

dogmeat116 · 2021-10-22T18:12:15+00:00

Poor taste in music

Willow-girl · 2021-10-22T18:30:39+00:00

Smoking. Nope nope nope.

funlightmandarin · 2021-10-22T20:15:51+00:00

Don't like blonde hair and have never dated a guy with it. Guess who lives in Northern Europe.

Also, dainty hands, outie bellybuttons and excessive social media presence.

EdwardCircumcizehand · 2021-10-22T19:04:16+00:00

Unironically your gameplay

GlitteryDonkey · 2021-10-22T21:42:33+00:00

People who say they don’t like something, particularly food, when they’ve never tried it.

TheRedPillRipper · 2021-10-22T23:48:25+00:00

Bad breath. My bestie wanted to date me when we where growing up. I said sure. Made out once and that was it. Told her I think we’d be better as friends. To this day I still feel terrible about it.

Godspeed and good luck!

harold_shipman_gp · 2021-10-22T20:43:32+00:00

Unkempt feet. I'm not a foot person, but nevertheless I'm immediately turned off if a woman has uncared for feet.

Also outy belly buttons. Fuck no. No explanation needed.

Selkie-Princess · 2021-10-22T18:45:39+00:00

Shallowest one is weird but non-negotiable: It’s a particular nostril shape. I actually feel a bit bad about it, because I’ve been told recently it’s associated with Jewish genetics (literally had no idea, the main person I think of from my past as having it was catholic af). But my pussy would not allow me to be intimate with someone who has that nose. Absolutely not happening, sorry If that makes me anti-Semitic.

decoy88 · 2021-10-22T19:32:50+00:00

Braces. Doesn’t matter how hot a woman is, braces on her teeth will turn me off instantly and completely.

And also certain accents; Valley Girl, Scouse and Jordy accents

Artistic_Guest4386 · 2021-10-22T19:51:38+00:00

whiney voice SHATAP PUSSio...

Spacetalks3114 · 2021-10-23T00:52:21+00:00

This is going to sound terrible but if he's an idiot.

Like he doesn't have to be a genius, but if he's spouting that the earth is flat and that leprochauns are stealing his socks, it's just a massive turn off for me.

Slipthe · 2021-10-22T18:09:53+00:00

When guys wear hoodies over their head.

I can't explain it. It's just a complete turn off.

Maybe it's because they look like a swaddled baby or a penguin.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-10-22T21:51:22+00:00

Gummy smile.

Gummy smile is ick, and if her teeth are also short, it's double ick.

Like, it makes my skin crawl.

People with gummy smile should be fined for smiling.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-10-22T18:46:35+00:00

If your artistic tastes are all mainstream.

Like if you mainly watch Marvel shit or The Office is your favorite TV show, or BTS is your favorite musicians.

Any history of casual sex.

Stupid noserings or gigantic earrings, fake nails etc.

Nailbiters are out immediately.

myincognitoname · 2021-10-22T18:32:59+00:00

Snobs, elitist, spoiled bratty people, those who think they're entitled to something they didn't earn.

Neptune-Jr · 2021-10-22T20:35:15+00:00

I wouldn't say that's shallow. Noting wrong with wanting a sane and mentally healthy partner.

DaburuKiruDAYO · 2021-10-23T10:40:35+00:00

Picky eaters. 10000%

GuitarsBack · 2021-10-22T17:54:00+00:00

Some dialects are a real turn-off.

gofigure62 · 2021-10-22T17:54:39+00:00

I'm basically the same. Mental illness or emotional instability are turn offs for me.

If someone is managing their mental illness with medication and treatment, then I'd be more likely to not completely write them off. But I've given the ole "College try" to enough men to know that I can't handle mental illness. Especially if it's depression. I can no longer handle depression romantically.

Quick to anger and quick to be offended/hypersensitive is also an immediate turn off. It's normalized behavior in men so people often criticize that I don't allow men to be "passionate".

Classicjammer · 2021-10-22T19:49:04+00:00

Definitely a woman with tattoos, particularly white women. And I’m white. They just look worse on lighter skin tones. Also it can say Things about how someone cares about trends instead of being their own person or is prone to impulsivity.

bakalabalak · 2021-10-22T19:25:09+00:00

Being religious.

rad1om · 2021-10-22T21:52:18+00:00

If you don't like cats, I don't like you. Sorry, not sorry.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-10-22T18:02:59+00:00

Mental health/illness isn't a shallow turnoff, wth. It's a monumentally valid reason to not want to be with someone.

My actual shallowest reason is bad grammar. If you use "irregardless" unironically, or can't differentiate between "its" and "it's," or misuse "lose-loose," "they're-their-there" don't even bother.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2021-10-22T18:06:40+00:00

Sports (watching not participating)

DeJuanBallard · 2021-10-22T20:41:16+00:00

Smoking, being basic.

I hate basic people, especially since the majority of them seme so unaware how generic their entire life and personality is. They will also be the majority of the people doing pseudo-deep/intellectual things. Reposting quotes/quote tattoos.

Very cringe.

CimZim · 2021-10-22T17:56:10+00:00

Height. Over 6' is automatic do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Chaos_and_Horny · 2021-10-22T19:39:21+00:00

One turnoff I have is if a woman 'demands' me being good at bed while I'm still in my learning phase including premature ejaculation and whatnot.

A shallow one though would be a case that the person is not interested in anything academically speaking.

superlurkage · 2021-10-22T20:09:42+00:00

Why is mental illness “shallow”? It’s the goddam brain —- which controls everything? How could that not be important?

Ppdebateismental · 2021-10-22T21:20:30+00:00

Pornstaches. I love beards. I love mustaches with that little soul patch under the lip, but take away that little 1/2” square of hair under the lip? get away from me.

Gingers. Nah. My dad was a ginger. Not much on blondes, especially ones with blond eyebrows As a blond haired, blue eyed, good Lutheran woman, I definitely believe in opposites attract.

WhereasSpiritual · 2021-10-23T00:47:28+00:00

For me it's guys who have what I'd consider bad taste in music.

I asked my husband what his would be, he said; "If she showed up wearing overt high-end brands, say, a Chanel purse, then no way". Although I call bs. He's assuming she's the one who is shallow. What if she is just really successful and......nm. Pretty sure he'd still say no.

newstartinvegas · 2021-10-23T00:51:12+00:00

Depression.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-22T18:23:10+00:00

Hairy buttholes. Please shave or wax it.

Edit: Also super large bologna areolas.

Bandit174 · 2021-10-22T17:55:24+00:00

I guess n-count/sexual history. Certainly the most controversial anyways.

LeaveThisPlanet · 2021-10-22T20:22:14+00:00

Any kind of religion or "spirituality". Ew, stay away from me. ❌❎

darkredpintobeans · 2021-10-22T20:03:03+00:00

If they take zodiac signs seriously it's a turn off, if they know a whole lot about it I find that very suspicious.

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2021-10-22T20:28:07+00:00

Cop haircuts. I don't care how sexy you are otherwise, if you look like a fed it's an instant yuck.

DontwantaFairOne · 2021-10-22T18:09:59+00:00

Doesn’t work daytime, 9-5 type hours

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-10-22T18:30:28+00:00

Lack of career attainment/education, disliking bears and fat bear week (because everyone knows bears are glorious), bad teeth, poor fashion sense.

Edit: Forgot one. Liking suburbs

1Here4Bach · 2021-10-22T18:30:26+00:00

Probably effeminate men. I’m still in the age range where my peers are still gravitating toward feminine men and i just don’t get it.

AquaChip · 2021-10-22T18:22:53+00:00

-Political opinions to the right of Mitt Romney. Political opinions to the left of Bernie sanders.

-long nails on men

-hairiness

-men who talk too much

MMAjambo · 2021-10-22T20:00:10+00:00

Body count

superlurkage · 2021-10-22T20:18:20+00:00

Chronic tardiness. Except when it’s something that they care about

over348 · 2021-10-22T22:33:13+00:00

Body count

rosesonthefloor · 2021-10-22T19:17:03+00:00

People who are bad at spelling/grammar. I’m sorry, I just can’t do it.

Also people who are like, proud not to know anything about what’s going on in the world. No thanks. It’s not like I’m super up on global news/politics either, but the celebration of ignorance really rubs me the wrong way.

Nihi1986 · 2021-10-22T21:03:32+00:00

Mental illnesses too though I'm weird enoug myself and often suffer from depression. That just doesn't make it much less of a turnoff, honestly. Indeed,makes me feel worse about myself cause I should be understanding.

social_mule · 2021-10-22T21:04:34+00:00

Poor spelling and grammar. I especially dislike misused apostrophes.

tylerwkess · 2021-10-22T21:20:01+00:00

Armpit hair.

-ButShes1000Bro- · 2021-10-22T21:34:22+00:00

Bad teeth, especially if it gives her permanent bad breath. Shits gross.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2021-10-23T04:31:42+00:00

Treating customer service or wait staff, or really anyone for that matter, poorly. Immediately a no-go.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2021-10-23T08:32:50+00:00

I'm pretty sure that mental illness being a turnoff is not viewed as shallow.

That's one of the #1 most important red flags there is.

TheMorningJoe · 2021-10-24T08:13:06+00:00

People who know what to do to be happier in life, but just don’t. A lot of people just end up falling in love with their suffering I’ve noticed.

wtknight · 2021-10-22T18:22:25+00:00

Probably how often a woman has had casual sex. More than one encounter outside of an established relationship is a definite dealbreaker.

Fit-Photograph1646 · 2021-10-22T18:19:10+00:00

Nothing turns me off. Except for a girl with a hairy butt hole perhaps... tho Nothing a few vodka shots can't fix.

chubbybutt22 · 2021-10-22T18:02:20+00:00

Republicans.

ChocolateSharp · 2021-10-22T18:28:33+00:00

Bad diet: No, you are not too young to watch what you eat. No, eating like it's your last time is not cute, and eating delicious can't be your hobby.

Baenerys_ · 2021-10-22T18:44:15+00:00

These specifically apply to people I date and obviously not to people I’m friends with. - guys who have/ride motorcycles regularly - guys who are into any type of violent sport (MMA, boxing, etc) - guys who are atheist - guys who are quick to anger or yell (pretty much ever) - guys who aren’t motivated - frequent or constant negativity - any indication at all whatsoever that hints to a lack of hygiene - social justice warriors

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-10-22T19:08:31+00:00

That’s NOT a shallow turn-off. It’s logical. People with active mental illness cannot usually give their best to a relationship and need to work out their issues and become stable, ie: recover or manage symptoms so well they’re unnoticeable to anyone but themselves and their doctor/therapist, before they get in relationships.

Some mental illnesses can also be contagious. Spending a lot of time with a depressed person can make you depressed, spending a lot of time with an anxious person can make you anxious.

If anyone calls you shallow for this standard just ignore them.

yoooooooooooodaddy · 2021-10-22T18:44:15+00:00

unironically spelling mistakes or indications of low intelligence. Really isn’t that hard to type a word correctly and if you can’t do that I really question the validity of our conversations

No-Koala5505 · 2021-10-22T19:43:36+00:00

Tattoos

tropicsGold · 2021-10-22T20:48:36+00:00

I can’t stand tattoos and piercings.

nessaea-blue · 2021-10-22T23:12:58+00:00

white people who are too pink

Hamarjadid · 2021-10-22T23:54:08+00:00

Too open about sex kinks etc. these are stuff that should be dragged out of you. The act of doing so should feel rewarding like you’ve been let in on a giant secret

lIllIlllIl · 2021-10-23T01:40:09+00:00

Small breasts. I've really tried to be aroused by them but I just can't.

skilled_cosmicist · 2021-10-23T01:58:49+00:00

For girls? Height. I'm just not attracted to girls who are close in height to me. I tend to like girls who are much shorter than me, like in the 5'0" to 5'7" range (I'm 6'2" for reference). Fortunately, this covers most women. Unfortunately, this preference of mine has been quite a pain in the ass because I've rejected three girls I had good chemistry with because they were all over 5'10". Idk, something about towering over a girl is just central to my attraction.

For guys, I find chest and facial hair very unattractive.

Goodlake · 2021-10-22T18:04:49+00:00

Their choice of major/field. If they have a degree in something useless or are working a dead-end job it's an automatic turn-off for me. Shows a lack of intelligence/foresight/ambition.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-10-22T18:44:33+00:00

I dumped a guy did sweating through his shirt once

Urbantexasguy · 2021-10-22T19:52:42+00:00

My ex-wife is a Gemini. No more Geminis for me....ever!

They're evil incarnate! :))

Straight-Claim8132 · 2021-10-23T00:41:38+00:00

This one is terrible and I expect (and probably deserve) to be downvoted for this one but a girl that's been severely sexually assaulted, so not just had a guy grab her ass in a club, but rape or something slightly less severe.

Unfortunately for these women they develop certain mechanisms to defend themselves that will detriment me if I were to engage with them in a relationship.

So that. Also any girl that lost her virginity before 17

Danielcraigboston1 · 2021-10-22T19:33:20+00:00

Not wanting to change their names after marriage. ( if you are going to date seriously at least)

Hairy bushes and assholes. (Don’t strive to be Italian or Indian men ladies lol)

_mwk · 2021-10-22T18:31:17+00:00

small feet or shoes that make feet look small. dirty nails. anxiety ticks, like feet tapping. stuttering.

banalchenal · 2021-10-22T20:51:28+00:00

Working with computers. If their job or hobby puts them in front of a screen all day I find it gross.

Not having taste in music, art, film, etc. Doesn't need to be my taste, but caring around art in some way is very important to me.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-10-22T22:29:27+00:00

Self loathing, low self esteem, insecurity. Depression is a big one too. Chronic nihilistic thinking. Negative outlooks on others. Entitlement

Religion. Lazy thinking. Doesn’t like to read ever. No work ethic. Boastful. Fragile ego

I could go on forever

Yes I’m single lmao

EviessVeralan · 2021-10-23T00:51:07+00:00

I really dont like long hair or earrings on men.

neetykeeno · 2021-10-23T01:49:44+00:00

Being into sport. "Blah blah football blah blah did you see those blah blah blah on the weekend blah blah big game blah blah tickets to the blah blah' Plz die without leaving offspring.

Anyone who is into boasting about their car sound system.

Even the slightest hint of a conspiracy theory

Federal_Bat_5355 · 2021-10-23T00:09:48+00:00

someone who ditches me in video games

Kurama1612 · 2021-10-23T00:33:53+00:00

If she doesn’t like animals, to be more specific dogs. If you can’t live dogs, means no ring for you.

ahmeeea · 2021-10-23T01:21:27+00:00

Too short or too long jaws/chin

clitorophagy · 2021-10-23T01:44:10+00:00

Men who are concerned with how clean their sneakers are. Huge turnoff

2021-10-23T01:56:08+00:00

Mental illness isn't a shallow turnoff. It's a major issue to consider because the effects are so wide-reaching and potentially damaging.

For me, probably the most shallow turnoff is a dislike for giving oral sex and swallowing. Call me a douche. But, it's true. If I'm investing copious amount of time, energy, and money into a woman then that's a basic expectation that I have.

Relevant-Giraffe7200 · 2021-10-23T02:13:16+00:00

Tech Bros. And finance bros. I am sorry some of them are genuinely nice people. But I just can't seem to be turned on by guys who are too much into tech, finance, crypto etc. Like I am okay with them being in those professions. But when they make it a lifestyle choice, that's when my vagina starts to dry up.

Also, girls who say vagina are a complete turn-off for me for some reason.

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-10-23T02:58:21+00:00

Liking anime

realityIsPixe1ated · 2021-10-23T03:31:28+00:00

Stubble, ingrown hairs and skin discolouration on the armpits, visible moustache and nipple hair that you feel in your mouth when sucking her nips.

Sagittarius_AAA · 2021-10-23T03:35:40+00:00

People that are too normal.

KatieKricket · 2021-10-23T04:32:58+00:00

I once left someone because he had cold sores.
I felt horrible but I just couldn’t.

2021-10-23T05:02:45+00:00

Grimy, snagged fingernails. Dirty hands that need hours of pumice stoning to clean. Poor oral hygiene and frontal cavities. Untreated blackheads. Not showering for weeks to months unless there is some arcane force that drives someone to do it and it is definitely not a job interview.

Mental illness, definitely. I have CPTSD and I have no time for a relationship with a mentally ill man. I was raised by one who took me out of school because he needed me and then took his life. My shift as an unpaid carer is over.

Poverty. I am subsisting on Disability Pension in public housing and I have finally found a place to live where men are not standing on my porch with their hands out as soon as they see me walk home with groceries. Saying 'no' makes me the most selfish bitch to ever exist. I'm nastier than the ex wife or gf who threw him out because he didn't contribute. A good fuck does not pay the bills.

Prescription drug addiction. I take my pills just as the doctor has prescribed and I keep them in a safe with the money I am saving by staying single.

deste_eloise · 2021-10-23T05:22:31+00:00

Loud talkers.

Their voice.

Bad dressers.

MisterJose · 2021-10-23T05:32:41+00:00

Bad taste in music.

peaches88888 · 2021-10-23T05:53:08+00:00

Dad bods.

Kitchen-Afternoon589 · 2021-10-23T05:55:02+00:00

If their favorite music is reggaeton or trap. If they don’t read, have any interest outside of their job/profession. Tasteless clothing.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-10-23T06:10:43+00:00

She posts pictures of food on Instagram

Szpachlarz · 2021-10-23T06:34:52+00:00

Male pattern baldness/being bald, I don't know how I will stay attracted to my partner if he starts losing hair.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2021-10-23T08:26:49+00:00

People who gather spit in the corner of their mouths when they talk.

michael1962-01 · 2021-10-23T08:31:52+00:00

Chubby, smelly, fat. Bad teeth. Pimples.

TP_Crisis_2020 · 2021-10-23T08:37:33+00:00

Super curly or blackgirl hair. I wouldn't ever not date a cool woman just over that, but I just looooove straight hair.

Mark_Freed · 2021-10-23T08:55:36+00:00

piercings and tattoos

KCappo · 2021-10-23T09:15:25+00:00

Moles. Even beauty spots

Flintblood · 2021-10-23T11:58:07+00:00

Weight. I’m fine with a little extra fluff so long as she still has a waist 25% smaller than her hips and breast, doesn’t have a layer of adipose around the neck and no muffin top. Basically not medically obese.

Acting entitled like standing in front of the coffee at work either moving slow or having a conversation while someone else is waiting to get coffee forcing them to say “excuse me”;

Toxic positivity

Women who flirt with every halfway decent male that gives them attention - and seeks validation online by posting photoshopped pictures of themselves every day or more.

goatismycopilot · 2021-10-23T12:27:04+00:00

Weird body shapes, patchy facial hair, super into mainstream sports like football, ugly shoes, anybody in recovery, Trumpy dudes, vegans, dudes who cannot spell or uses the wrong words, super alternative thinking or lifestyle, super suburban types, adult frat bros.

caveatemptor18 · 2021-10-23T13:41:17+00:00

Meanness pure and simple is such a turnoff. I try to spot them quickly and avoid them. If you have ever worked with the public, then you will understand why a look into their eyes is the first sign. Be aware and be prepared.

Eeeeels · 2021-10-23T13:46:12+00:00

People who announce that they are of above-average intelligence. There is no need to tell me this, I can discern for myself who is and isn't intelligent. When people feel the need to announce it it's cringy because they're usually not nearly as bright as they think they are.

annabeelongx · 2021-10-23T14:31:11+00:00

When a guy steps out the car and his shirt accidentally rides up so that I see his crack

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2021-10-23T14:36:30+00:00

People with dogs. No I don't want to come over to your filthy smelly home and have your filthy stinky dog jump all over me. And no, your dog cannot come into my house and destroy that too.

Danielcraigboston1 · 2021-10-23T15:18:08+00:00

Not willing to change their last name to mine if we get married. ( At least if it’s a serious relationship) In my opinion, it just confers a lack of respect for me.

I also don’t like hairy women. Shave it off.

AreOut · 2021-10-23T16:13:26+00:00

Voice. I can't stand girls with too deep or too squeaky voice. I just can't. OTOH even if a girl is totally average looking if she has feminine soothing voice she automatically becomes 10 to me, hah.

iwasanacidbaby · 2021-10-23T20:19:34+00:00

someone into social media.

Willing-Fee3978 · 2021-10-23T20:42:25+00:00

Dogs inside her house

peachycreaam · 2021-10-23T22:11:37+00:00

Cheapness/frugality/greediness.

People who take pride in being jailbirds, criminals, bums, growing up in the ‘hood

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-10-24T00:29:31+00:00

That’s true. Some people don’t respond to therapy or medication or changes in environment. Some people don’t recover. Some people don’t even try.

However, these people are usually extraordinarily ill, can’t work, require intermittent hospitalization and are very often delusional or suffering from hallucinations. No one can function in a relationship in that state.

What I have to wonder are the reasons you believe everyone is entitled to have a relationship no matter how dysfunctional their behaviour and no matter the negative way they affect the people around them.

If someone has an active mental illness but they’re functioning fine in life and don’t have social problems, occupational problems or executive functioning problems it usually means they’ve been misdiagnosed or cured.

Remember, it’s only an illness if it prevents you from living your life.

Cheap-Pound7001 · 2021-10-24T01:41:37+00:00

"Boss bitch".

I have a boss at work. I shouldn't have to come home and get critiqued, also. Hard pass.

grand_tiremaster · 2021-10-24T02:30:53+00:00

Men who look poorly-- bad at dressing, bad hairstyle, bad hygiene, etc. Recently a guy asked me out and his hair is in these weird braid things (he's black, I do not know what they are called) and he wears an oversized hoodie that has satanic imagery on it, and it says "blackcraft". Not attractive to me. A few months ago a different man with a weird sense of style asked me out also, and he has a man bun hairstyle thing, which he bleached and dyed bright red. Nooo. Not for me. I prefer men who dress nicely. I also dress nice. Let's look good when we go out-- mature and classy.

CamelCitySlacker · 2021-10-24T03:06:02+00:00

Pretending to be “all that” and pop culture trashy. Also, bikini photos as your first profile photo, just no.

xDankHorse · 2021-10-24T03:43:42+00:00

I don't really like girls who seem too hot headed or high strung, they remind me too much of my sister, and that's one aspect of my sister that I don't like.

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2021-10-24T08:41:09+00:00

Tone deafness. I’m very musical and die inside when a person can’t pick out a tune.

feelingskank · 2021-10-24T14:44:08+00:00

Bipolar Disorder or Mental illness with suicidal tendencies

I awas with a women who was bipolar. Constant threats of suicide,

2021-10-24T20:23:49+00:00

Blond hair on men

2021-10-24T23:46:31+00:00

Blunt or over assertive 🤮

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-10-25T05:08:13+00:00

I have bpd and it's not shallow at all. Life with us is hard.

I wouldn't be with a feminist

I don't date people who can't write at a certain minium of quality

sterlingrose616 · 2021-10-25T08:18:40+00:00

Being cheap. With money, affection, time, etc

rilakkumkum · 2021-10-30T04:43:38+00:00

Hate to admit it but mental illness or I don’t like their smell. I’m not even talking B.O., just their natural smell even if they’re clean. Another is if they’re the least liked friend in their friend group (cause why do you not value yourself to spend time with people that dislike you)

_symbolik · 2021-11-14T10:46:04+00:00

Girls with shitty music taste or that like gossip stuff (I think is shallow because I'm judging their whole personalities based on those traits)

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-10-22T18:38:33+00:00

Physically : Ugly feet, I like feet and I suck toes like chicken wing bones, they gotta look, feel and smell good, I venmo my girl pedicure money regularly

Personality wise: If she's a feminist, let me reiterate, I said this before these days it's harder do not find a woman that hasn't been infected with the feminist virus but on a scale from 1 to 10 if her level of feminist infection is like more than a three, she is not girlfriend material

I'm also with you on a lot of that mental illness stuff, especially the way it's almost glorified today

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-10-22T20:50:32+00:00

Frugality. I can’t stand a cheap man

Cheshiregrin85 · 2021-10-22T19:27:00+00:00

If he doesn't shave his butthole and doesn't like cats.

PsychoticNurse · 2021-10-22T18:54:02+00:00

Personally I don't think anyone's reasons are shallow. Despite what's being told to people, you are entitled to your preferences and don't need to justify them or downplay them as shallow. If someone don't like your preferences, then they don't have to date you. My turnoffs in men.....

Untreated mental illness

the man doesn't make as much money as me/doesn't own what I own (car, house)

whines about his life but won't take the steps to fix it

too far right/too far left

won't pay for the first date (there won't be a second date for sure if I'm asked to pay my half)

loud in public/likes to draw attention to himself

won't stand up to toxic family/friends

men who refuse to see the world from a woman's POV and always say how hard men have it too when I talk about women's struggles/harassment

snowcakey · 2021-10-22T21:56:44+00:00

My biggest turn off is when a man isn’t physically fit. It’s literally SO easy for men to not be fat fucks and in basic shape, even a small amount of chub is gross and unacceptable to me.

other turn offs:

did not attend a top uni
picky eater, won’t try new foods
short neck
small frame
small hands/wrists
no sense of humor, too serious
depression/anxiety/mental ilness
ultra libs & ultra conservatives
trans / not a real man

humantoothx · 2021-10-22T19:29:59+00:00

If a dude has a cat. I automatically equate it with having to hear about their emotional state all the time.

Goodlake · 2021-10-22T19:47:47+00:00

More often than not, curly hair. Some can pull it off but I usually think it looks bad.

majani · 2021-10-22T21:40:33+00:00

Someone who thinks it's OK to be dumpy in front of me but they swag out when going to meet strangers. I find that disrespectful. Be swaggy everywhere

squeamish · 2021-10-23T00:20:48+00:00

Can't refrain from political shit on social media.

"It's important that they get called out!!!"

sweetestpineapple · 2021-10-23T05:12:22+00:00

Preppy style, lack of tattoos, high pitched voice, high risk aversion

Rough-Carry260 · 2021-11-04T13:21:07+00:00

You sound like a highly strung, judgemental individual. Life isn't a fairytale where nobody has issues to deal with. Jesus christ.

chalkandapples · 2021-10-22T17:59:25+00:00

Job and socioeconomic class

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-22T19:24:50+00:00

Guys who are into cars. It's just such a dumb thing to care about, in my opinion. I wouldn't even have one of my city's metro system was better.

Edit: thought of another one...men with country/rural lifestyles and sensibilities.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2021-10-22T18:36:59+00:00

Drama. Someone who is constantly in conflict.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-10-22T18:52:27+00:00

I'm referring to serious relationship here, not casual, but... Wearing leggings as pants. I actually prefer no yoga pants, either.

With regard to something casual, I really couldn't care less what is worn, and pretty much the only thing that would matter is looks.

Fizzygurl · 2021-10-22T19:20:56+00:00

Hairy back

jzadlv180 · 2021-10-22T19:59:45+00:00

Tattoos

Jonesw16 · 2021-10-22T20:02:45+00:00

Not being asian, acts like a man, being one of the party girl types, has high body count, thinks she's prestigious, any piercings other than the ears.

smrmoon · 2021-10-22T20:28:46+00:00

Cruelty and/or dislike of animals. I recently acquired a new one too - sleeping with their so called friends and not having boundaries in friendships .

champagneandcode · 2021-10-23T02:26:53+00:00

Bad taste in clothes and lacking masculinity. I'm not after a macho man with no ability to display emotion (I love those things), I just find myself automatically lacking respect for a man that's overly feminine. IDK but it is what it is.

Starman926 · 2021-10-23T02:57:34+00:00

Maybe I haven’t scrolled enough but I’m shocked at the lack of astrology. It’s like brandishing a big sign that says “I’m stupid”

Mimoxs · 2021-10-22T18:43:00+00:00

Facial hair, fat

Adadum · 2021-10-22T22:27:04+00:00

"Slim thicc" look, it just looks unnatural

nemporisso · 2021-10-22T19:28:26+00:00

Expressing dislike for sports or babies.

Appearance-wise, hair that covers the ears on a man will be a no 98% of the time. Flat-rimmed baseball caps. Pretty much all piercings.

AtomicMGTOW · 2021-10-22T20:52:59+00:00

Women that can't measure.

And the biggest problem with women that can't measure is they all still think that they can - as a matter of fact they think they are the measuring stick. See: Dunning Kruger Effect.

To be more precise, I'm not talking about being able to use a measuring tape although that's kind of f***** up too.

I'm also not talking about quick tangible transactions like going into the store and buying a pack of gum and handing over $1.50 in return. Anyone can do that, even 5-year-olds.

I'm talking about being able to understand that some things are priceless. And to me that does not necessarily mean that they're so amazing that they can't have a price applied to them. It just means that you can't put a price on it.

Some people might refer to this as "the little things" but even describing them as little can be construed as having little value.

I'll try and give a couple examples.

This first one packs a lot of nuance into it but I'll give it a try.

Imagine the single woman with two kids under 10. She has to handle 100% of the adult responsibilities in the house. All the cooking, all the cleaning, all the laundry, all the taking care of the children (physically emotionally spiritually and financially), she may even have outdoor chores like cutting the grass or shoveling the snow. She also takes out the garbage. She gets the kids to school she gets the kids from school. By now you should get the picture.

Now she gets a boyfriend. Let's say they take their time in the courtship and decide after a year that they should move in together.

This boyfriend has an average but full time job.

As soon as he moved in he began paying half the rent and utilities and never missed once.

But let's say things don't work out so well and they break up after a year.

I guarantee you in the months leading up to the split and after the breakup she will say things like "he didn't do anything around the house to help me" first of all that's a lie I mean he's covering half the rent that's pretty big. But she wants to paint the picture that he was the leech.

She'll tell herself and her friends that he expected her to do all the laundry and all the cooking and all the cleaning. Let's even say that's true.

Let's say that anytime she did get him to do something like take out the garbage or cut the grass she had to, let's say, gently nudge him for a while before he would do it.

She will complain that she had to nag him and that he wasn't a grown-up and he wanted a mommy to do his laundry and cooking and cleaning for him while he just laid around doing nothing.

And now let's truly examine the real transaction in this scenario.

Let's say the rent is $1,500 a month and after the bills are paid $2,000 a month. And he paid $1,000 a month, half. Let's also assume he contributed $100/wk to groceries and that at least some of that was consumed by her and the kids. And let's assume that he drove the kids to school in the morning on his way to work but they walked home

In exchange for this all she had to do when she was cooking was throw on an extra chicken breast and an extra scoop of potatoes. When making lunch she just made an extra sandwich, etc...

Instead of three loads of laundry a week it ended up being four with all of their clothes combined of course.

Let us not assume that the man was a pig who left dirty dishes and garbage all around the place for her to pick up but he at least picked up after himself. Eg. He didn't kick his clothes across the floor or leave them in the bathroom.

At the end of the day, this guy paid half of everything and what he got in return was 25% more effort from her.

She may not see his efforts at work but he's a labourer that works hard in a, let's say, warehouse all day.

This is typically what happens out there when a guy gets involved with a single mother. Where the f*** she got the idea he was going to come in and give half and do half of everything is f****** ridiculous.

She expects 50/50 but he is only one out of four people in that house and therefore only responsible for 25% of the bills and such. The extra that she gets is just bonus like that he at least does take out the garbage and takes the kids to school which then alleviates some of the pressures of her morning.

That's what I mean by women that can't measure. The new boyfriend is not the baby's daddy. He'll never be the baby's daddy. You only want to treat him like the baby's daddy well it's convenient but when you leave he's got nothing. And responsibilities without authority is slavery.

What is she essentially arguing that he got that was so amazing? Pussy, kids. Pussy.

And what price does she put on that pussy? PRICELESS! FML.

Edit: minutes after I wrote this this new video was released by rolo tomasi the rational male. The basic premise is that men are checking out because we have no authority but we're expected to have plenty of responsibility All in The name of Love. But women don't love men, maybe later, but he has to pass all of the checkboxes especially financially first. https://youtu.be/48ldBXeXlKo

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cherbonylfish · 2021-10-22T21:02:33+00:00

I can’t remember what country she’s from (might be Sweden?) but the way the Victoria’s Secret model Romee Stijd speaks fills me with the same sort of completely unjustified irritation I get around people who eat loudly. And for eating, I don’t necessarily hate everyone who eats loudly, there’s just some people who have a specific eating style (? I guess you’d call it) that I can’t handle. Problem is I usually don’t pick up on it till I’ve been around them for a few months, thought I was fine with my flatmate and then one night she pulls out these sugar buns and starts chewing. I don’t do shared flat meals anymore, suffice to say

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-22T21:26:45+00:00

Neediness.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-10-22T21:45:49+00:00

Too nice/smile too much.

sunkized · 2021-10-22T21:58:13+00:00

Filthy home, trash not taken out.

roots_inmy_dreamland · 2021-10-22T22:09:55+00:00

Gamers and people who love tv sports(soccer)

dirtyhippie62 · 2021-10-22T22:10:47+00:00

Anyone younger than like 50 for me honestly 😂

houstongradengineer · 2021-10-22T22:55:07+00:00

Gaming, which my husband does and I don't find the most pleasant. You know, you think it's all good. You think there's theoretically nothing wrong with winding down every now and then. But then... it starts to overshadow some moments of life... and that's disappointing.

Whale_Song_Genres · 2021-10-22T22:58:00+00:00

Voice. My baby mama is super cool and we get along great. She's like my long lost sister, we talk every day about everything. But I absolutely will never ever ever be with her because she has Fran Drescher voice.

Voltron425 · 2021-10-22T23:05:59+00:00

Drum thumbs

BluetoothMcGee · 2021-10-22T23:30:46+00:00

Sometimes I just plain don't like the woman, so I make up a turnoff on the spot.

Classroom-95f · 2021-10-22T23:58:51+00:00

Bad table manners

speaksupatlast · 2021-10-23T00:00:15+00:00

Self-Pity. If shit’s going wrong, attempt to fix it, if you want something you don’t have, make an effort to go get it. Like, REALLY try…or don’t complain.

A dude can be a 10/10 in every other department but if I see/hear anything along the lines of ‘XX is so unfair and I can’t do anything about it’ the panties are likely staying on lol.

vial_of_music · 2021-10-22T19:10:06+00:00

Insecure attachment style

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-10-22T19:13:53+00:00

Intelligence, appearance, income and education.

inkybreadbox · 2021-10-22T23:00:47+00:00

Owning a cat.

Using the word “panties.”

Gamers.

Altruistic_Wafer4398 · 2021-10-23T04:35:40+00:00

People who aren’t interested in higher education. Logically I know that it isn’t necessary for being successful or smart but I can’t help assuming they’re not right for me.

What's your shallowest turnoff ?

Comments

FAT

That's what THEY said!

Title	What's your shallowest turnoff ?
Author	lemurianelf
Upvotes	134
Comments	674
Date	October 22, 2021 5:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qdmb6d/whats_your_shallowest_turnoff/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-your-shallowest-turnoff.1082415 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082415