Women settle down with and seriously date lesser men, but still hold toxic men from their past in a higher regard.

WesleyFRM · 2024-04-10T13:25:12+00:00

A decent amount of women cannot understand this thought process. Some say "but she chose you" to guys who express insecurities about certain things in relationships because thats literally how they think. Getting "chose" is the most important thing to those women, everything else is irrelevant. This is why some women do not care if a man was a player/fuck boy and even take pride in getting a man to leave that stage. Cause as long as he is with her now, nothing else matters. Most men do not think this way.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-04-10T12:21:14+00:00

I hate how threads like these always dismiss how horrible it must feel to essentially be told that your partners ex fucked them better than you. People pretend that they wouldn't be all fucked up to find out the person they love has been going around telling people that their exes fucked better.

Man, woman, anything inbetween, whatever you are, that has to be really, really upsetting and hurtful to hear. But people always just say to brush it off, like it doesn't matter.

On top of all that, what sort of awful person would go around telling people that their partner wasn't good at sex, and that they've had way better? That's such a shitty thing to do. Don't gosip about the sexual shortcomings of the person who loves you.

Imaigne finding out your partner was talking about how his/her ex had better pussy/dick than you, and then being told to get over it. Even if they did it jokingly.

Publicly disrespecting your partner, especially with very intimate details is a horrible thing to do.

Who the fuck does that? Honestly, that lack of care about my feelings and respect for one another would be what would make me call the whole thing off.

I'd never have let anyone talk shit about any of my partners like that, never mind doing it myself. Shit blows my mind.

Edit: God damn, there is some fucking TRASH people in the comments, lol.

FineDevelopment00 · 2024-04-10T13:13:02+00:00

These women sound exactly like the men who wax poetic about the "hot/crazy scale." IOW, they have issues.

Think_Reporter_8179 · 2024-04-10T13:51:28+00:00

Be so good, your girlfriends share you with their girlfriends. It fixes any problems with ego for sure.

CatholicChanner · 2024-04-10T12:04:07+00:00

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This is why I am afraid of dating women who had a promiscuous past tbh. This is not the only woman who posted feeling this way...I don't want to be seen as "economy class" in the bedroom...

Edit for more clarity: She does "love" him. She says she is happy and his a kid with him even. But she still affirms he's economy class and will likely be, even after decades of marriage.

Unhappy-Slice-5098 · 2024-04-10T13:28:01+00:00

I’m disappointed in how dismissive the people in the other thread are of OP’s situation. Imagine if OP were a woman. People would be celebrating her calling off the marriage for something so seemingly petty. lol

These double standards when it comes to men and women in relationships is very annoying and toxic. People are quick to take a woman’s side no matter what and always chastise the guy for being in the wrong. In my opinion, OP dodged a red flag. And I’m sure everyone will say his ex-fiancée dodged a flag too, sure. I’m surprised OP didn’t give her a second chance to redeem herself but to be honest, why should you bother with someone who is totally fine saying these types of things about you behind your back. Especially your SO? Regardless of your gender.

Both parties lack communication, it’s probably for the best that they split. OP had to badger his friend for bad things his SO said and his SO was talking about their sex life behind his back. I personally find the latter worse than the former (even though the former is a really dumb purity/shit test that men complain about women going to them all the time).

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-04-10T13:18:54+00:00

Hold up. Where in any of the OP did anyone say her ex was toxic? Why are we making those assumptions? He could have been a great guy and great at sex, but for whatever reason they didn’t work out. Why are we just declaring he’s an Asshole?

Also who says the boring pretty fucboi is toxic? He’s good at sex and the women looking for casual are having a casual sex with him. That consensual thing both sides are cool with is toxic?

Feels like a lot of assumptions are being made.

You know what IS toxic? Being insecure and badgering your GFs friends and then getting mad when they tell the truth.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-04-10T13:32:59+00:00

The number of women friends I’ve had who laughed at the fact I said you should be with the guy who was their best lay told me all I needed to know. It’s basically a confirmation of the dual mating strategy.

Anyways, don’t black pill yourself guys. Fuck enough women so that you know what you’re doing, fuck whoever you’re with everytime like it’s the last time you ever will, and do whatever you were gonna do anyways. Women don’t want to feel the need to perform, you bring it out in them. So worrying about it gets you nowhere.

Also helps to not be with someone who is ran through, but that may be tougher nowadays.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-04-10T14:23:18+00:00

Well it would absolutely devastate me if my partner said something like that. It's not insecure, I agree it's absolutely devastating. And that's also why I refuse to settle, I refuse to hurt that person, it hurts to be settled for.

Draager · 2024-04-10T14:48:19+00:00

Not Women in general. This is true. about "Broken Women."

Gary_Longbottom · 2024-04-10T14:59:39+00:00

I strongly dislike people who do this. I think sex is something deeply intimate and shouldn't be shared with others without my consent-especially if it's not in a positive light. Guy overreacted but I would also feel deeply betrayed.

One-Preference7122 · 2024-04-10T13:15:14+00:00

It's a lot more socially acceptable for women to thirst over men, or bring up sexual history; especially exes. My ex and her friends were always thirsting over other men right in front of their boyfriends, talking about how big their exes were and they called me insecure after I brought it up. I could tell it made their boyfriends uncomfortable but hey, just do what you have to do. We all know if the roles were reversed you wouldn't hear the end of it, which is exactly what happened when I said I had a crush on an actress when I was younger; got to the point where she'd bring it up out of nowhere, Like I'd provided her a reason to rage at me. This same girl along with her friends called me short, bringing up how tall her ex was which was hilarious because I'm above average height and taller than all her friends boyfriends; so these girls just insulted their men without second thought.

It's a pretty hilarious double standard that I can't see going away anytime soon. Men know to never ever compare their girlfriends to other women, our fathers even tell us not to do this, she'll hate you forever if you slip up, even if she asks you if you have a celebrity crush just don't do it... believe me it'll be better for both parties.

That being said why can't people just respect each other enough not to compare them to others, or thirst over people that possess unattainable beauty standards? I have never ever felt the need to do this, only responded once when being cornered. This goes for both men and women, keep your damn eyes to your partner or just stay single, nobody likes being compared to others, it's weird.

blueboymad · 2024-04-10T15:21:38+00:00

Isn’t id funny how sex is simultaneously not the most important thing for women and men are just insecure, while also being non negotiable for women and men are so selfish in sex and women are absolutely justified in leaving you if she’s not satisfied

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-04-10T18:00:07+00:00

Sharing details of sex life with mutual friends is just plain trashy.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-04-10T18:23:54+00:00

Sex with the walking insecurity otherwise known as OOP would’ve inevitably been self-sabotaged by his fears.

Yeah, OOP, why couldn't you just be secure in your partner's preferring to be fucked by her previous partners? DAE male fragility?

ChicoBrillo · 2024-04-10T14:25:41+00:00

I feel like a lot of you just get your feelings hurt by a really toxic woman and then project that on to the rest of women you're entire life instead of just realizing there are fucked up women just like there are fucked up men.

mostessmoey · 2024-04-10T19:17:21+00:00

Isn’t there a common belief among men that sex with a crazy woman is the best sex but you don’t marry the crazy woman?

No one is marrying or committing to someone they feel is terrible in bed.

People commit to people who are the most compatible overall. Sex is just one of the factors. Additionally sex can be improved through communication and practice. Someone’s morals and values are less likely to be improved through communication and practice.

Safinated · 2024-04-10T13:45:07+00:00

I’ve had many men in my life admit they have “one that got away”.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-04-10T12:02:09+00:00

Bro probably should have posted the whole context from the post:

we all got pretty drunk and laughing a lot and I was begging Kiley to tell me one bad thing Amy has told about me to her friends.

After a lot of pleading, Kiley finally said that one thing Amy had joked about was how she had better sex before, and I was not the greatest at sex, but that she was with for me the complete package, because she doesn’t care about sex too much. I was drunk then so I just laughed it off, but I felt somewhat stung then.

Nothing about this post suggests the woman "is settling", or even that her previous partner was toxic. The man literally heckled their mutual friend to tell him ANYTHING she might have said that was negative, and the worst she could come up with is "she's had better sex before in her life, but it doesn't matter because she loves her fiance for more than sex."

I can't tell you how you should feel about this. But I don't see this as evidence of settling - the gf stated a fact, that she's experienced better sex before in her entire life, and she also stated that she doesn't care because she loves her bf more than anyone else.

Also, the dude is kind of an asshole for heckling their mutual friend to betray his fiance. I wouldn't be friends with someone who went to my partner and TOLD THEM what I said in confidence.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-04-10T12:59:50+00:00

This comment confirms and cements my fears that women settle with betas and men they wouldn’t have looked at twice when they were young and still secretly pine for the toxic fuckboy that gave them the best dick of their life.

Let me further cement it. I'm an ex adult video actor. Let your imagination run a little. Now the girls I fucked with... they go off and get married. Guess what? Years later they are still hitting me up and asking me to be their secret. Or telling me their marriage is basically over and in part its because they thought about me while fucking the whole time. Or the day they divorce my phone rings.... "I've waited for this day". Now that I see all this behavior in action you think I'm excited to be the husband with some woman? He'll no. And in my experience they ALL do this. Some just haven't done it yet but the exceptions out of the hundreds of women I've been with... are so few and so seemingly more chance than that the girl is "different" I just think this is factually woman's nature period the end.

Quiet_Firefighter_65 · 2024-04-10T15:06:49+00:00

Not something I'm particularly concerned about but so many of these problems could be solved if men were more strict about only long term dating/marrying virgins and stuck to them.

You date a woman that has been with other men, you'll just have to accept that this is a possibility.

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-04-10T19:11:42+00:00

The fiancée never ever should have said that to her friend. You take that shit to the grave. For that I feel for the OOP. Some things should always stay between a couple.

Grown ups who aren’t insecure know, in their heart of hearts, they likely aren’t the best their spouse has ever had.

I know I wasn’t the best my ex husband had ever had. He still was begging me back when I walked out the door because I brought more than sex to the table. And the sex was solid.

I may or may not be the best my husband now has had. I’m smart enough not to ask that question. He’s smart enough not to ask me. And I’d never run him down to anyone. I have no reason too. It’s good sex.

A lot of you all are telling on yourself by how hyperbolic you are getting.

Abysswalker55117 · 2024-04-10T20:08:54+00:00

I read that post. OP kept asking and asking her friends if his girlfriend has said ANYTHING bad about him. He asked a lot so his GF’s best friend told him that. The comments were messed up. Again this isn’t the norm, the women I am around don’t talk like this. It is very discouraging to see all of that though. Even if OP asked a question that would have a hurtful answer.

People say all the time “ask stupid questions, get stupid answers.” In this case it is applicable.

Another side of the coin for that is that women are worried men are settling for them themselves. I had a friend whose boyfriend said he went out with her just bc she was the first girl that flirted with him and looked decent. Now she’s worried if a better looking girl comes along she’d get dropped.

Edit: I think the fear of being settled for is pretty strong in people in general

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-04-10T20:31:10+00:00

Reverse the genders here and it describes several exes of mine. This isn't a gender thing. It's an attachment from childhood thing and mental health thing.

YveisGrey · 2024-04-10T20:39:59+00:00

Idk if this is that big of a deal nor do I think it’s specific to women. There’s a trope that crazy women give the best sex but dudes still gotta dump them because the crazy part. To those men it really is better to have a relationship and family but slightly less good sex with a stable normal woman than amazing sex with crazy one. Nevertheless some men cheat on their boring pillow princess wives with wild sex workers so…

Anyways men can understand that sex isn’t everything or at least they want women to understand that (it doesn’t mean anything when they have sex) but for whatever reason lose their shit when women express similar sentiments. Yes it’s possible to have amazing sex with someone who would make for a terrible long term partner. And at the end if the day long term relationships are about what’s practical and stable not how hot the sex is.

Azihayya · 2024-04-10T22:26:23+00:00

If this woman wasn't completely validating your bias you would probably think very poorly of everything they believe and say. That's one person's experience or opinion.

purplish_possum · 2024-04-10T13:39:58+00:00

Toxic Guy = A King who knows his worth.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-04-10T16:05:03+00:00

This is why men need to stop telling women to lower their standards and settle.

Unfortunately that means more men would be single and maybe even sex less but if a woman choses you, you know that she truly desires you.

So Pick your poison.

doggiedoc2004 · 2024-04-10T15:33:28+00:00

Uhhh…men do this and feel this way too? This is not a gendered issue. I bet there are an equal number of men, if not more, that had mind blowing sex with that crazy ex but end up marrying a more mellow women who would be a better long term partner and mother. Should that women he settles down with leave him if she finds out from one of his friends that he used to wild sex with his ex?

KorinTowerFreeloader · 2024-04-10T14:06:58+00:00

Of course they do. Do people really think this is not the case? That's naive. I have seen/heard from the horses mouth how some relationships are, knowing full well what I have done with the same girls a few years back, or my friends. I always feel sorry for the guy in this BB scenario, so I tell them to really find out more about the past of the girl they're with.

Hellarouge · 2024-04-10T15:04:22+00:00

I'm partial to using the occasional fuck boy for their intended purpose, but none of them have been as good in bed as my first love. 🥲

I wouldn't mind another relationship but realistically I don't have the time to date between work, social life and running a home.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-04-10T13:33:38+00:00

Here’s the main problem. He didn’t have to remain not the best sex she ever had but because he was insecure, which she probably knew, he wasn’t opening to listening to how to be better.

Women put up with mediocre sex because the male ego cannot take any sort of correction when it comes to how to please their partner. Any sort of comment about do this instead of that and men go into a spiral about where did she learn that from?

So women mostly grin and bear mediocre sex. If he is a decent person and fulfills all the other needs and she can get 10 minutes in the bathroom to make sure she can cum then she deals with it.

Women know why you want inexperienced sexual partners, the ego can’t deal with the comparison but also the ego isn’t willing to learn how to be better.

Odd_Ad5171 · 2024-04-10T13:57:41+00:00

What I am curious about is not sexual performance but rather dick size.

As a bisexual man, I have seen a decent number of penises. Small penises look FUCKING SMALL, TINY when you have seen big ones.

I would never seriously date or marry a woman who has been with so many men to have stumbled into fucking big dicks (8+ inches, thick, ect).

Women cannot sexually respect a man who has a small penis (<5in) after being with a guy whose penis feels huge, big.

They can give you a pass if you have an average penis, if you have other attractive physical qualities. But they're never going to feel like your dick is valuable, like that big rare dick. Like its your currency.

The problem is its difficult to get this information out of them, its very intimate.

Sexual performance can easily be improved upon, stamina, positions, rhythm, creativity.

Can't improve your dick size. And women will lie about this all day long because they are protecting their own ego, they know their eventual husband or LTR will most likely not have the big dick they've seen in the pass so they tell themselves it doesn't matter.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-04-10T15:15:26+00:00

I wonder why women can't empathize with this issue that well. Is it because Men don't pressure women about their sexual performance?

"Ashley. I'm giving you a D in enthusiasm. My ex FWB was far more tantalized by my weiner and made me feel special, you're not measuring up to that so."

"Pussy grade C. Not that tight but definitely gets wet"

Definitely could be hurtful but maybe it just doesn't sting as much bc women don't care about sex that much in day to day life.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-04-10T12:44:43+00:00

So the dude harangues his fiancee's friend into telling him something negative because he can handle it and then when she finally tells him he gets mad, and you think everyone else is the asshole?

This comment confirms and cements my fears that women settle with betas and men they wouldn’t have looked at twice when they were young and still secretly pine for the toxic fuckboy that gave them the best dick of their life.

"This single comment confirms that my world view is infallible."

So how exactly do you this dude's fiancee's best sex was with a toxic ex? How do you know she holds him in "higher regard?"

HappyVer · 2024-04-10T12:16:03+00:00

You're focusing too much on the "best sex" part. Just because someone is good at sex doesn't mean that partner is the best person to marry.

Guys do this also. You don't choose a partner solely based on how good they were at sex. You choose based on a variety of factors.

The people that have had the most sex in the past are more likely to be better at it, but you're probably not looking to marry the most promiscuous woman possible just because she's better at cowgirl.

Sad-Climate-1074 · 2024-04-10T12:13:09+00:00

I am one of those toxic men from the past. In 2010 I dated this girl who was a virgin, and I took her virginity, and five years later she sent a text saying I was still the best sex she ever had and that she masturbates thinking about me. Now she’s married, but I wonder if she still thinks about me.

obviousredflag · 2024-04-10T12:12:12+00:00

And men do the same. it's a people thing, not a woman thing. Your "fears" are what is holding your back. Everyone else who isn't that inscure just deals with that fact and carries on. If you can't get confident about your sexual performance or how your partner sees you, marry a virgin and then wonder if she ever read an erotic novel and compares her fantasy to how you perform in bed. Your fear will always find a way to feel bad about your sexual performance. Instead of addressing the reasons for your insecurity/fears/anxiety, you wonder how you can change how you select women to avoid triggering your fear. You can't. It's always the same. No matter how much you try to create a safe space for you, the fear will always find a way.

gntlbastard · 2024-04-10T13:47:22+00:00

Alpha Widows exist.

apresonly · 2024-04-10T16:10:54+00:00

vet women for maturity, this is toxic

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-10T12:36:46+00:00

lol, I've had a few girlfriends who were freaks in bed but also equally crazy in the head. Sure, sex with them was like doing crack compared to my sex life now, but being with them was also like dealing with a crackhead.

absconder87 · 2024-04-10T12:42:10+00:00

Gee, perhaps this would happen less frequently if red-pill men didn't constantly harangue and berate women into disclosing all details of their sexual past. If they didn't ask women to rate their lovers. If they didn't demand to know how often they think about old boyfriends.

AntonioSLodico · 2024-04-10T14:34:20+00:00

This brings up an interesting question. Would you rather hear that your partner had better sex with other people before you, or hear they had sex with better looking people before you?

Conversely, would you care more if they said you were the most beautiful person they have ever slept with or the best sex they ever had was with you?

I might make a separate post/poll about this, because I have a theory and I'm wondering if it's correct.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-04-10T15:34:07+00:00

Can't see anything in this post suggesting that the fact he was dateable is what made him inferior in bed. One man is better at sex than another and we're just projecting red pill theory on it for no logical reason.

Throwwaway4970 · 2024-04-10T16:50:56+00:00

I'm the best sex of all women I met and I totally the opposite of "too boring for words." You are trying to feel better your probably lack of looks or sex "skills" with the silly arguments or good looking men are dumb or uneducated.

And yes, you should aim to be the best she ever had, if not I have some bad news for you...

throwaway234974 · 2024-04-10T16:51:55+00:00

To all the ones I ever loved Never let you in enough Not your fault, I gave too much To the first one, to the first one To all the ones I ever hurt Always knew it wouldn't work Not your fault, I gave too much To the first one, to the first one There ain't nothing I can do about it, yeah I just can't forget some of the words he said The memories in my bed keep coming back again Like daggers in my mind, yeah They draw blood all night, yeah Yeah, I know what I've been doing Running through 'em just to try and catch a feeling But the feeling never happened And I'm sorry that I did you wrong

Astrid S - The First One

AngelCrumb · 2024-04-10T19:51:37+00:00

Sexual chemistry does matter, but the bar should not be 'best sex of your life", if you're climaxing and enjoying yourself, that is enough. Heck, many women never even get to experience decent sex because there is a fair population of men who simply do not care about their partners pleasure in bed.

veloron2008 · 2024-04-10T19:55:11+00:00

Well, duh. That's one reason (of many) why you don't "settle down" with women having a toxic Ex, or many Exes for that matter. Leave them to desperate men.

Obviously, women who fuck around accumulate baggage/trauma instead of actual relationship skills. Or best case, a clean slate with little to no experience.

If the dating landscape is so bleak, work on your resources and go overseas in search of someone with a clean past and compatible values.

uglysaladisugly · 2024-04-10T22:34:10+00:00

The fact you consider these comments about these guies as being "hold in higher regard" cements the fact that we are not speaking the same language, not living in the same world, we have literally so little in common that it's astounding.

Psyteratops · 2024-04-10T12:10:03+00:00

Being a “beta” or whatever has little to no correlation with how good you are at sex. It’s a skill that you can get better at and which doesn’t correlate 100% to how good looking you are.

That said as many other people pointed out about the post you’re referencing- OP needs therapy. While it’s normal to have a negative reaction to the news that you’re not the best in bed it is not normal to break off an engagement and move states over it. Sex is a single facet of the relationships we build.

It’s completely normal to have sexual thoughts about people who aren’t your partner in a monogamous relationship, even previous sexual partners, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you or someone else is uncomfortable with that it’s likely that you need to take responsibility for your own insecurity rather than put your problems and their solutions on women.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-04-10T13:42:32+00:00

I just don’t understand why you, OP, think that sex is the only factor of a relationship that matters, and that it apparently has so much pull that a woman not being with the best guy in bed means she’s “settling”. Also, what makes you think that it’s always the bad guys that are good at sex and the nice guys who are bad? This quote you posted is one example of a woman who is making sweeping generalizations about men based on her own experiences, and it certainly doesn’t represent my experiences.

RedstarHeineken1 · 2024-04-10T13:35:48+00:00

Some women do this and so do some men

KayRay1994 · 2024-04-10T13:42:44+00:00

best sex ever =/= best partner ever or most partner worthy - and the same goes for many men too, many men probably won’t end up marrying their best lay (also high regard is a bit of a stretch as there is so much more than just sex in a relationship)

Think of a relationship as a combination of many dimensions - this would include reliability, emotional capacity, compatibility outside the bedroom, sexual compatibility, personality compatibility, general comfort and fun, etc

More often than not, the ‘best lay’ would be very compatible sexually, but not compatible otherwise - ergo, why a relationship would never happen with this person, especially as one matures and their priorities start to change. Fact is, long as yall are compatible in every other way while also still having a good sex life (good, not best), then that will make most people happy.

Note: some have said that in which cases men would be beta buxxing, this isn’t, as to be a beta bux you have to be reliable, but sexual compatibility, emotional compatibility and general enjoyment would all be very low.

duncan-the-wonderdog · 2024-04-10T14:41:56+00:00

why do straight people just hate talking about what they like in bed before getting in bed? it's like you guys want to have dead bedrooms

you're about to marry this guy, just tell him what you want in bed and if he can't give it to you DON'T MARRY HIM

Gilmoregirlin · 2024-04-10T15:32:34+00:00

I am going to tell you something that may shock you, very few women marry and settle down with the man that they had the best sex with. Because the men that they had the best sex with often make horrible partners! Don't get me wrong the sex has to be good, but the best? Nope. Choosing a partner takes into account many factors, and it is not just about sex. It's the total package.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-04-10T15:42:38+00:00

I’m probably not the best my husband has had. I know he’s down freakier shit with freakier women. Didn’t mean he wanted to marry those women.

But I get that men feel very differently about this.

Over_Noise3530 · 2024-04-10T16:42:52+00:00

Well, you pick a ln immature 20 year old that hasn't grown up yet, that's what you get

XXXblackrabbit · 2024-04-10T17:53:19+00:00

Chad got the best sex and bounced, the betas are bag holders that need to provide all the other crap. Many such cases!

Defundisraelnow · 2024-04-10T17:58:44+00:00

What a disgusting post. Both of you should be embarrassed.

TopEntertainment4781 · 2024-04-10T18:20:15+00:00

The best lay I ever had wasn’t even remotely marriage material. So?

Guys do this all the time. They pick the woman (or try to) that is the best all around combination of factors.

But then they have absolute conniptions at the idea that women go through the same analysis.

Again, this sub proves that men and women are far more alike than different, and men are freaked out by it. Btw numerous studies demonstrate this.

spaffjizz · 2024-04-10T13:06:08+00:00

Oh geez, if only sex was a set of skills that you could learn!

W-Pilled · 2024-04-11T05:10:34+00:00

So many [removed] comments. Wonder what was discussed

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Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-04-10T12:00:16+00:00

Very good comment. It's tragicomic how the supposed attraction is always slow and needs years to be built with the beta.

ColbyXXXX · 2024-04-10T15:17:19+00:00

Can’t relate man. I am the best every woman I have dated has had. I only date women that I can bring to orgasm easily. If I ain’t making a woman cum then I don’t want her dating me and looking elsewhere. I think guys need to actually apply effort to being good at sex. It’s actually easy if you try your best.

MistyMaisel · 2024-04-10T15:24:27+00:00

Not being the best sex ever isn't the same as being bad at sex. It also makes no mention of consistency.

Like her best sex ever may be a dude she fucked once and for whatever reason he hit the 10 that day.

Boyfriend may not be the best sex ever, but he's the most consistent good sex ever hitting 7-8s all day every day and he's a good person who would make a good father.

I don't get this obsession with being the absolute best ever. I doubt I'm my man's craziest or best sex ever. Who cares, I'm his most consistently pleasant sex ever. I may not ever hit the highest rung on the tree, but I'm a consistent force to be reckoned with taking care of business and a high performer.

And, let's say I did care. Why quit out now? I could probably be his best ever with a little communication and a little work and some time and waiting for the stars to align just so.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-04-10T15:33:58+00:00

Can't see anything in this post suggesting that the fact he was dateable is what made him inferior in bed. One man is better at sex than another and we're just projecting red pill theory on it for no logical reason.

silverhippo15 · 2024-04-10T16:11:11+00:00

As a wise girl once said, "There are guys you marry and there are guys you fuck"

FOSSandCakes · 2024-04-10T18:29:32+00:00

Showing men their "place" is a guilty pleasure for women.

SoldierExcelsior · 2024-04-11T02:19:36+00:00

tiny_friend · 2024-04-11T03:21:12+00:00

am i missing something? the commenter on OP’s post is shitting on the guys who are good at sex and calling them narcissist/idiots etc. the guy she has respect for here is clearly the boyfriend material guy. same as how guys will shit on “bimbo” type girls.

plowerofattorney · 2024-04-11T03:28:26+00:00

I can confirm I am fuckboy. No but seriously it’s not the greatest feeling knowing that you’ll never really be able to connect with someone deeply and will always be seen as that guy women look for when their sexual fantasies want to be met. I rather be the other guy tbh. I would happily trade places with this guy even if it meant my partner thought I wasn’t the best she had. Having the other qualities to deeply connect with someone and keep them around means a lot more than being able to please them sexually or be their best fuck. I guess the situation always looks worse when you’re actually living it but I tend to think the other side would be much more enjoyable

Hrquestiob · 2024-04-11T06:03:24+00:00

AITA is fake rage bait and bot posts. Comments can be messed up though

sniper1905 · 2024-04-11T06:44:17+00:00

Gut wrenching stuff.

qunamax · 2024-04-11T17:24:15+00:00

They don't date them seriously, they just fall into that day-to-day routine with them. Serious dating is an adventure, not being all upright and having starfish sex once a week.

GrandeSaiyaman · 2024-04-12T02:34:52+00:00

That's why i only like virgin women

pixiehutch · 2024-04-12T05:38:08+00:00

I think that we all deal with insecurities about our lovability and worth. The natural part of growing up is learning that these types of frames don't matter. There's no way out of the misery if you continue to ascribe to this mindset. A true and loving partnership is not easy to create but very rewarding. It allows space for people to have faults and limiting beliefs, but you have to be willing to do the work to own your piece of the dysfunction we all bring to the table and co-create in any relationship we form.

Title	Women settle down with and seriously date lesser men, but still hold toxic men from their past in a higher regard.
Author	Axeml
Upvotes	126
Comments	977
Date	April 10, 2024 11:54 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c0jq6t/women_settle_down_with_and_seriously_date_lesser/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-settle-down-with-and-seriously-date-lesser.1514687 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514687