Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy

NotYourCirce · 2021-06-29T15:30:05+00:00

No guys who monologue at me. I’ve dated several guys that just want to talk at me about whatever he’s interested in at the moment. My input isn’t wanted and it’s not a conversation. It’s like attending a lecture on watching paint dry

gravesearcher · 2021-06-29T16:59:47+00:00

Men: It's your fault if you choose a guy who treats you like crap!

Women: I want a guy who doesn't look like a slob, takes showers, wipes and washes his own ass, doesn't treat me like shit, and actually wants to be with me.

Men: OMG LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!

Inspection-Critical · 2021-06-29T15:55:18+00:00

No sob stories. There's a scary amount of truth to that Rolling Stones song, "Sympathy for the Devil."

The full list of dealbreakers is much longer for me, but trying to elicit pity is now my #1 red flag that I'm dealing with a loser (at best) or a predator (at worst).

Healthy people want to impress you and be seen as competent. Losers and predators have nothing worthwhile to show you and they know it, so they try to hook you with pity. It's like a Trojan horse. If you fall for it, they'll gain access to your inner life, destroy your boundaries from the inside out, and take you for a ride.

When I was a pickme, I fell for pity a lot. Now I can't tell you what a turnoff it is. My libido instantly dries up and I think the person is an asshole.

eclo · 2021-06-29T12:35:59+00:00

Must own pillows

lessadessa · 2021-06-29T14:41:31+00:00

I realized that any guy who tells me more about themselves when they were teenagers than who they are right now generally have emotional issues I am just not willing to deal with.

spinaflora · 2021-06-29T16:20:08+00:00

Men who are good friends with known sex predators because “he’s changed after doing ayahuasca.”

AriaLuz · 2021-06-29T13:05:21+00:00

No heavy drinkers who use drinking because they can’t handle their problems.

Saeyato · 2021-06-29T16:05:44+00:00

When men compliment you by putting down other women. It shows that they view most women in a negative way, but see you as an exception to this. One of the most obvious early-stage red flags for misogyny.

E.g. "wow, most girls aren't as ... as you", or "its rare to find girls that are so ..."

aoi4eg · 2021-06-29T12:06:54+00:00

I have a rule of always asking a guy for physical proof of his driver's licence because once I went for a ride and when we got stopped by police, turned out that my date never obtained his license and his father literally just allowed him to take his car.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-06-29T13:24:40+00:00

OMG doesn’t hump mascots sent me, but that’s so true. I didn’t want to add “must actually verbalize “will you go out with me”” to my list but lesson learned, standards raised, trash is on the curb, life improved from there. Also there is a lesson that basic decency is not a high standard.

no_tak · 2021-06-29T12:39:07+00:00

Used words like "naughty" or "cheeky" about himself when he made a really unfunny joke or about you, just anytime. If he uses them to describe you chances are he lied about his age and is actually 10 years older than you and sees you as a child.

Spittens · 2021-06-29T13:54:43+00:00

No guys that take my being an equestrian (specifically, my owning a stallion) to a sexual place, under any circumstances.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-06-29T14:49:00+00:00

No men who neglect their pet. I didn’t know this was a boundary until I met a guy who didn’t clean his multi-cat litterbox once in the week I was there or walk his dog. He had the audacity to complain about the dog ripping up stuff in the house. It was a border collie, it was out of its mind bored!

xsweaterxweatherx · 2021-06-29T16:56:09+00:00

Back in 2017 I never thought I’d have to verbally write out “no anime/hentai and no tentacle rape fetishes”

Dolphin_Moon · 2021-06-29T16:37:20+00:00

an ex felt threatened by my job opportunities. Now i know to always filter out if a man is intimidated by a woman's success

went out with a handful of dudes who liked titty twitch streamers. never again

weirdly made jokes about getting me pregnant on the first date

thatjimmylove · 2021-06-29T13:42:42+00:00

No more men who are obsessed with Quentin tarantino or exploitive horror films, or the shade black, refer to your age in days you have been alive, men who idolize James Bond or Henry Cavill, Men who fixate on the artist/writer/musician rather than the art, sole metal fans, Joe rogan bill burr or Jordan Peterson fanboys, no men who try to compliment me by insulting someone else.

Betty_Bottle · 2021-06-29T16:58:33+00:00

No untreated depression. Get help or stay single. It's exhausting trying to be there for someone who refuses to look after themselves.

I once asked my often depressed/suicidal ex if he ever once thought "okay, this is not normal, I don't want to feel this way anymore, maybe I should do something?"

His answer? "No, never"

And that was when I realised he kind of enjoyed being depressed because then people would feel sorry for him and give him attention.

NinjaCynic · 2021-06-29T12:47:31+00:00

How weird do the rules get at Disneyland? I can see WHY it would be necessary, human stupidity and all, but to what extremes??

Back on topic. It's not very weird, but no man who says he's allergic to certain foods just because he doesn't like them. Like RICE 🤦🏻‍♀️

pugaczalla · 2021-06-29T12:46:55+00:00

No guy who mentions even once that he’s intimidated’ by anything related to me. ‘Intimidated’ by my TV, ‘intimidated’ by my job, ‘intimidated by <insert character trait>’, intimidated by this and that. Just no. No normal guy says anything like that. No. Just dump that guy on the spot, please. I have to bleach my brain because I’m having bad memories now.

Also, no polyglots.

JustANewGirl86 · 2021-06-29T13:01:34+00:00

No men with fetishes.

Seems to always lead to cheating and excessive porn use. Your entire sex life will also revolve around their wants and "needs". No thank you.

fallsasleepatparties · 2021-06-29T12:52:44+00:00

No men who make car sounds while walking

---- just for context ------

I briefly mucked around with a younger guy in my twenties, I was 25 and he was 22. Everytime we changed direction while walking he would make car veering sounds with his mouth like it was the indy or some shit. He was a nice boy. I learned I like men.

DoodleJack · 2021-06-29T14:37:12+00:00

Must eat vegetables.

the-worst- · 2021-06-29T17:20:13+00:00

No guys who talk excessively about a girl "friend" or offers to help a "friend" because "the real dad dipped"... or who claims to just want to get to know me.

My first boyfriend always talked about a friend of his and bragged that he was SOOO NICE because he was helping her through her pregnancy since the real dad left.

Note: at the time he and I were both 16/17 and this "friend" was a 22 yo who was still in high-school from failing or something.

I pretended that I didn't notice how weird it was. I pretended not to notice the signs. I pretended not to be bothered when he'd ghost me for days. I pretended not to notice how he flirted with nearly every woman he saw right in front of me.. I acted dumb when his family was telling him, in front of me, that he should stop focusing on "friend" and put the focus on me because I clearly cared about him. I pretended not to care when he fessed up and admitted the kid she was pregnant with was his, even though he and I had been dating for over a year at that point. I was suck a pickme.

It finally hit me how much I hated his guts when he brought his newborn to church with him. Kid was adorable, but looked just like him. I talked to my mom about it and she suggested that I try to talk it out with him. When I tried, he insisted we had no issues, our relationship was perfect, and that this was all he was going to say.... so I hung up and handed my phone and computer to my mother. Asked her to block him for me and everything.

He kept calling my phone, making new accounts. One he acted like he pocket dialed me and I heard him scream crying about how much he loved me and didn't want to lose me...

Yes, this is the same guy who recently contacted me again under the guise of wanting to be friends and being a helping hand if I needed it. After a week he said he was still in love with me, that I was the only one for him... that I was the best lay he ever had. I told him off, told him he doesn't deserve his wife and that I pray she finds someone better, messaged her to tell her what happened, blocked and deleted him.

Zeniite · 2021-06-29T12:37:34+00:00

No guys who tell me they have a crush on me. Each one that has used the word “crush” has been a love bombing fool.

Upupandthrowaway77 · 2021-06-29T12:21:26+00:00

Doesn’t try to pick fights with people who are homeless. Doesn’t need to drink to have fun. I guess that one’s not really weird but still.

Both of these rules originated from the same guy. He once told me how he almost got into a fight (his friends had to hold him back 🙄) with a homeless man who cussed him out when he told him he didn’t have any money to give him lol. From the rest of his story it was obvious the homeless man was drunk and/or not mentally stable. And he thought this story was going to impress me, so he was a little confused when I said “Why would you do that?” -_-

Whenever we would hang out he always had a drink and would 10/10 times pressure me to drink with him. I like having full control of my mind and body when I’m around an interest. He thought I was uptight and couldn’t relax because I refused to drink most of the time.

Gasperca · 2021-06-29T15:03:16+00:00

No instagram addicts. My ex would spend literally hours on it, following and liking what has seemed every single girl on IG. Posting all the time to his feed. Usually his car, which leads me to the next point.

No car obsessed guys. I also love cars by would not spend every dime I saved to 'improve' the shitty 15yo car or base my whole personality around it.

And the third one connects, no BMW drivers. Proved myself like 3 times that they are unreasonable. Pure coincidence that I met them, all 3 proved to be the same.

PeanutButterPigeon85 · 2021-06-29T14:28:40+00:00

-- Must own and use soap.

-- Must own and use household cleaning supplies.

-- Must have food in his fridge. (ETA: This is from an ex of mine, who had a high income but an entirely empty fridge. He ended up being a spineless man-child who wouldn't take care of himself, and I wish I'd seen the empty fridge as one of his many red flags.)

comrademasha · 2021-06-29T14:31:05+00:00

I have three main ones:

1- must own and USE toilet paper and it must be 2ply or more. (I got offered construction paper one time because the guy, and I quote, "didn't use toilet paper" and no he didn't have a bidet)

2- must own more than just one cup/plate/pillow. (I asked for a glass of water and got it offered in a used wonton soup container)

3- must believe in evolution. (A conversation about the show Land Before Time REALLY took a turn).

Lazy-Design1979 · 2021-06-29T12:52:36+00:00

No wanting to sneak into a movie! Seriously, what adult thinks that's cool? Not into anyone who tries get me in trouble. This is grownup-land where doing something like that could cost you a career.

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-06-29T13:48:12+00:00

I need his full name and a tour of his house. I'm not trying to waste my time with someone who still lives at home or is living a double life, no thanks. Or even someone who has a criminal background. Bonus: the state of his bedroom and bathroom. A bathroom and bedroom tell you a person's hygiene standards. Also, proof you own your own car and have a job.

sruslywhytho · 2021-06-29T15:23:59+00:00

After many years of dating, I now avoid...

- men who full-on touch paintings at fine art musems (we got asked to leave).
- men who drive a Bentley but sleep on an air mattress.
- men who unknowingly run ponzi schemes for other people.
-men who eat the diet of a toddler (fries, white bread, nuggets, no vegetables, etc).
-men who proudly don't read books.
-men who live in studio apartments.
-men who don't have furniture (where tf am I supposed to sit).
-men who don't have kitchen basics (I'm not bringing a grown ass man forks).
-men who "don't use social media" (they ALWAYS have secret accounts).
-men who've never really traveled (because I became tour guide & travel agent).
-men who immediately ask for condomless sex (there's no respect for women's health).
-men who have friends who sell crack.
-men who describe their big decisions as "the cheapest option" (ex: the cheapest mortgage/apartment, cheapest car etc because they only care about price, not value, and will carry that through their all of the experiences you have with them in life including their decision to marry you aka they are looking for a "cheap" woman not a HVW).

NotSoSmartChick · 2021-06-29T14:06:44+00:00

No men who grab the rejected parts of a steak (pure fat) off my plate, shove halfway into their mouth, and chew as half of the piece dangles against their chin.

Had this happen with a 40-something physician.

riverguava · 2021-06-29T14:34:55+00:00

No leg humpers.

Must have an actual front door.

Must not keep blabbering about how hot his sister is.

Must not have 'run away from home' as an adult. 2 different guys.

Smh...

EDIT: Questions regarding the front door. He lived in a garden cottage, which was not that bad in and of itself as we were both young. But this cottage was half sunken like a semi basement. And the only way to get into it was to crawl through this weird half-window with a mini security gate. That was when I noped out (he moved back in with his folks after that, but then ran away and wanted me to come fetch him, in a totally different province). Met him at work, he looked like a decent guy. His dad also worked there and was a total sweet heart. No red lights on the first couple of dates - he wasn't handsy, was very polite and interesting. To make matters worse - many years after, he showed up as a temp worker at the company where worked at the time. But I haven't heard from him since I left there.

sunshinewynter · 2021-06-29T14:43:30+00:00

No drug users, no mental health issues, no people in "recovery"

amyismynameo · 2021-06-29T16:58:12+00:00

Flushes.

Doesn’t pee or poop in trash cans or showers.

Doesn’t think it’s funny if his friends film him doing above rule.

BlackThummb · 2021-06-29T14:16:49+00:00

No more men who think holidays are stupid.

Had an ex who worked every Christmas for the pay, didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because it was “a cheap Hallmark holiday,” and thought celebrating birthdays was “juvenile.”

I remember he told me to book my birthday off to spend it with him, only to get no gift (not even a card) and no plans other than sitting on the couch playing video games all day.

When I left, I came home to find that my family was there waiting to surprise me with an amazing cake and gifts, and told me to dress up because we were going to my favourite restaurant. My parents spent the whole time telling stories of how amazing I was growing up, and it should have been a really happy beautiful birthday celebration, but all I could think about was how much they loved and cared for me, and how little he did.

When I told him I wanted to break up with him over this, he convinced me I was being unreasonable for thinking everyone still cares about birthdays, because “how could he possibly know,” when he himself hates birthdays. But he was scared, so he promised to “make it up to me.”

Next week he bought me the cheapest piece of jewelry possible from the jewelry store, a heart shaped necklace. Even though I had told him several times in the past I hated heart shaped jewelry. A bunch of gems fell off within the first month. I should have left sooner, but I didn’t.

Gouda8995 · 2021-06-29T14:50:00+00:00

No "ew gross" reactions to me answering his question about what I'm eating, what I ordered, what I bought for myself in the grocery store.

I shouldn't be more embarrassed about buying chicken thighs in front of him than tampons.

Edited for relative pronoun fix

attackonmars_6 · 2021-06-29T12:23:50+00:00

1)Dating a veteran. Too many psychological issues and they don't always see a therapist to get better. 2)wants to settle down immediately (in a month of dating). It's my fault that I thought it was a green flag. 3) recently broken up. They need to heal first, especially if they had a traumatic breakup. 4) never spent single days. This is a huge 🚩. My ex stringed along his ex until he found me a and did the same thing to me . People need to enjoy their own company first and the needyness is 🚩

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-06-29T17:43:58+00:00

I don't want a guy that tries to get me to promise me or him will ever get "eMoTioNaL" then during the course of the relationship, he ends up crying more than I ever do.

Also forgot to add: Doesn't watch weird gorey videos of animals being murdered in nature and just showing it to everyone.

Doesn't watch barn animals having sex with men porn.

quasarbar · 2021-06-29T18:44:02+00:00

I'll bet most of these aren't really all that weird or unusual, but here's my list:

Doesn't ask for a kiss and then proceed to force one on me when my answer isn't affirmative.

Doesn't immediately start groping me during the first second of our first kiss.

Actually tries, and wants, to give me an orgasm when (if) we get into sexy time. Doesn't sit there begging me to service him while making a point of refusing to return the favor.

Walks next to me, not ten feet ahead of me.

Doesn't tell pointless lies and then dismiss it by claiming he was just kidding when I don't believe his pointless lies and am about to confront him on his dishonesty.

Doesn't ask, expect, or hint that I should pay for everything or buy specific things for him that he's capable of buying himself (not talking about special occasions like his birthday). Respects my finances as much as men want women to respect theirs.

Ditto for providing transportation and being expected to do all the driving or provide the car for dates even when he's capable of doing so.

Doesn't turn every conversation into a manifesto on how awful women are.

Doesn't turn every conversion into talk about sex.

Doesn't try to befriend me with fake profiles on social media in an attempt to deceive and manipulate me.

Doesn't keep a home that is exceptionally messy (hey, I'm not a neat freak myself and can be messy, but I'm talking extreme here), filthy, or physically unsafe (yep, that happened).

Doesn't still live with his parents in his thirties and older unless there really is a good reason (such as a disability or financial crisis). Doesn't need to be mommied. Doesn't refuse to grow up and live life like an adult.

Doesn't tell me upfront that he won't wear condoms because they're too tight.

Wants to take me on dates that I'll enjoy instead of expecting me to just tag along to whatever he enjoys and be grateful for the opportunity to bask in his presence.

Platipus6 · 2021-06-29T12:55:35+00:00

No more men who sleep naked. 2am sex pests with ball-stank under their fingernails from sleep-scratching.

rosemarie2020 · 2021-06-29T14:56:29+00:00

No Anime fanatics 🚩🚩🚩

Watzoo · 2021-06-29T14:19:19+00:00

If he plays “simple kind of man” or sings along to it in any capacity at any time in the first three months, I have suddenly reunited with my ex and can no longer communicate with him best wishes and nice life bye bye.

Dazzling_Grass1727 · 2021-06-29T13:06:29+00:00

Here are my set of rules that I will strictly stick to from now on: Avoid...

Men who say they have a lot of female friends. *ERGH*
Men who say their exes were crazy. Or some woman is crazy. *ERGH*
Men who fanboy over superheroes. *ERGH*
Men who display any jealousy or belittling of other men or women. *ERGH*
Men who say sex is the best thing ever. *ERGH*
Men who stare at you a lot or approach you only after a period of time *ERGH*

And so on...

Zeniite · 2021-06-29T12:51:35+00:00

No guys who say, “How do I compete with that?” after hearing about how well my ex treated me with taking us on trips and spoiling me after they directly asked me how I’ve been able to travel so much and build up my home gym while being a student. My reply going forward will be, “Easy: Take me on trips and spoil me even more.”

myoklife · 2021-06-29T16:10:05+00:00

Lol I have so many little petty things that are deal-breakers for me and I'm so glad to have this opportunity to share.

owns a specialized "gaming chair"
owns mayonnaise. (I don't want to talk about it, but I absolutely cannot risk it happening again)
has never worked a customer service job.
consumes takeout or delivery more than once in a week
doesn't ride a bike
takes the elevator over stairs without necessity
talks to mom on the phone daily without necessity
drives distances < 1 mile without necessity
recycles improperly (unrinsed containers)

Even when I was actively dating (pre-FDS) I had ways to vet for these things and yes I have walked out on someone for the mayonnaise thing.

sassenachpants · 2021-06-29T18:50:26+00:00

Must have finished walls, baseboards, and floor boards.

Must have cupboard doors.

Must have a clean fridge.

Must have bed sheets.

Must do holidays, special events.

Must exercise.

No dudes who’s house smells like dog piss.

PalmTreePhilosophy · 2021-06-29T20:33:12+00:00

No man who says "I will even buy you a meal" as a way of trying to woo me. WOW. A WHOLE MEAL?!

whiterabbit818 · 2021-06-29T13:42:59+00:00

Anyone who gets wrapped up in arguments with their 6yr old nephew .

metaphoricalrose · 2021-06-29T19:57:28+00:00

Can't be an anime porn artist, I learned that the hard way 🤡

startrekmind · 2021-06-29T12:49:20+00:00

No guys named Artem. No models and no lawyers.

Just no.

Blackbeakvesta · 2021-06-29T15:04:53+00:00

No actors over 35 chasing leading man roles when they have barely had any small roles.

One guy wanted me to wait around after for 5 hours after work and meet him at the stage door at 10pm because he was busy playing a centaur in Harry Potter.

Another was an elf in some Winter Wonderland show. Save those roles for the younger folks as they would genuinely be better and more talented.

So relieved I never met either but ashamed to say I considered it!

Jandi18 · 2021-06-29T12:08:26+00:00

The guy that wanted to move into my place after first date because his roommate’s bf was visiting for the weekend and didn’t want him there. So he asked to stay at my place for the weekend.

Now I make sure to ask and ask if the guy has his own place..no roommates, no mom’s basement. I know this should be basic stuff ( some of them lie) I just have to make sure before meeting for a date.

BetterDeparture436 · 2021-06-29T22:13:23+00:00

Men who use the word simp unironically!!!

Reimustein · 2021-06-29T20:53:44+00:00

While, I have only ever dated one man, this is my list brought to you by the men in my family and co-workers

No "open books" or overly talkative people. I don't care how well condoms fit on you, nor your expensive gaming set up.
No saying that you want something without specifying. My brother wanted my mom to buy "healthy food." What kind of healthy food? Healthy food!
Not letting you cut your hair short because, "everyone should have long hair." That's so hard to manage. Or pointing out that you have armpit hair. I know I have pit hair, thanks.

vbych76 · 2021-06-29T12:32:17+00:00

No guys called Ivan. Immediate ban. Had not one, but three guys to prove the rule. I learn slow sometimes.

glowmilk · 2021-06-29T14:28:10+00:00

Okay here are my rules:

No self-proclaimed stoners or guys who smoke a lot of weed. I once dated a guy who often couldn’t afford to go on dates but always made sure he had enough weed. Only time I got to see what he was like without weed was when he went on a family holiday and seemed normal and balanced when communicating with me.
No guys with long hair (unless it is well-conditioned, regularly trimmed and taken care of). All the guys I’ve dated with long hair were simply too lazy to get it cut and so just accepted having that hairstyle.
Must be close to his family. My most recent ex barely spoke to his parents and sibling (despite living with them) and it felt sooo awkward. It’s not like they had wronged him in any way, he just said he preferred his own space. We’d have BBQs and it’d mostly be everyone else talking while he barely said anything to them. He preferred not to be in their company if he had a choice and so I started to feel the same. It was tortuous for me. I want the kind of parent/s in law who I’m able to be close to and enjoy spending time with and I think that can only happen if my partner is close to them too. I see myself having a close extended family in the future so being with a man who values that is vital.

nymphaetamine · 2021-06-30T07:44:26+00:00

At 40 I have a depressingly long list of HELL NOs thanks to numerous shitty men.

-Cops, military, doctors, lawyers, psychologists, or bankers

-Weapons enthusiasts

-Picky eaters. I don't expect everyone to be a foodie, but I have no interest in dating a man that limits our restaurant choices to those with a kids' menu.

-Keto bros. I work with one and he is fucking exhausting.

-Mentally ill men. I sympathize with anyone who suffers from a mental illness, but I don't think I've ever met a single depressed/anxious/whatever man who was actually proactive about seeking treatment and didn't let his illness affect others negatively. It has always been insisting they're fine, while using their illness to excuse abuse and often self-medicating with alcohol or drugs.

-Men who use 3rd party messaging apps. No adult needs to communicate via snapchat, kik, viber, telegram, etc. Anything that needs to be said, can easily be said with a standard text or call. I've literally never met a single man who doesn't use those kinds of apps for cheating.

-Men who keep their phone on silent all the time

-Men who pontificate about their "right to privacy" in relationships

-Men who tell me to trust them

-Men who tell me to smile

-Men who ask for pics

-Men who are "fluent in sarcasm", or "went to the school of hard knocks"

-Men who argue with everyone under the guise of "enjoying a debate"

-Men who post sexual memes. Some years ago I met a guy online and was pretty into him until he posted a BDSM meme then DMed me "sUb Or DoM?"

-No Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, Milo Yiannopoulos, or Trumper smoothbrains

-Anime fans

-Scorpios

-Libertarians

-Truck guys

-Drinkers/drug users

-Men with close female friends (hint- they're never just friends)

-Men who keep in touch with their exes

-Atheist tech bros

-Social media addicts

-Men who follow "models" on social media

-Anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, covid deniers, and Qanon kooks

-Porn users

-Absolutely NO men with fetishes. Periodt. Zero exceptions. I don't care how 'harmless' or mild his fetish might be, miss me entirely with that shit.

Ugh, I'm probably forgetting some 😑

peculiarbuttonz · 2021-06-29T19:14:00+00:00

No go on dudes who eat their boogers, like the smell of their sneeze (aka: the spit) on their clothes, and can ONLY (refuses to learn any other recipe) cook unseasoned chicken.

My ex was absolutely disgusting.

The guy I'm talking to now cooks and takes me out to eat.

springtulip475 · 2021-06-29T19:43:20+00:00

no men who watch anime, adult cartoons (family guy, the simpsons… ) or violent movies
no men with long hair/man buns
no basketball/hockey/contact sport (football, rugby…) players
no motorcycle drivers or car/truck obsessed men
no men who own weapons (guns, swords…)
no men who fish/hunt
no men who play video games (COD, GTA, FIFA, 2K…)
no J names

honey-laden · 2021-07-01T05:29:04+00:00

men who share their deepest hurts with you when they first meet you. they are trying to make you feel empathetic. they are manipulating your emotions by opening up quickly, but it is meaningless to them.

throwmeupandacross · 2021-06-30T02:36:27+00:00

No rape jokes whatsoever.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-06-29T15:40:14+00:00

No Capricorns, they’re all secret assholes in denial 😂

HumanAdhesiveness360 · 2021-06-29T19:25:41+00:00

No man who lives dishes all day in the sink. Drops boxers in the middle of the floor, waits till the last minute with dead line tasks.

Emojiangel · 2021-06-29T20:17:59+00:00

No guys that smoke weed. It saps your energy and motivation and turns you into a low effort slob. I say this as a former weed smoker myself.

lezbeeanne · 2021-06-29T17:46:06+00:00

No pedophile stalkers.

honey-laden · 2021-07-01T05:13:28+00:00

love bombing. when they fall for you super quickly, telling you how special you are, and make you feel like an angel. love bombing is a sign of someone with borderline personality disorder. a normal person takes their time to get to know you.

also, (another ex) someone who wipes his ass clean when he poops. seriously? ugh. this is real!

PalmTreePhilosophy · 2021-06-29T20:20:01+00:00

Specific no-no:

Grime-encrusted sink.
Opening the door to me in a suit then instantly changing into boxer shorts and a t-shirt like a kid just home from school and stuffing his face with pizza without realising I am watching him stuff his fkn face with pizza.
Eagerness to wrestle and to win at wrestling.
Off-hand comments about women ("bimbo" or "slutty") but those are more obvious and hopefully no woman would give their time to such a pig.

MsBarbiePhd · 2021-06-29T23:31:24+00:00

Doesn't share incredibly personal stories about people they know on the first date.

I've had dates where guys have described their ex's genitals + their mother's pubic hair (same guy), how their brother drank too much and almost died choking on vomit, and the time their buddy ate someone's ass in a porta potty.

Firstly, not their stories to share, its a gross violation of someone's privacy. Secondly, they will likely share your personal stories to others.

BornToBeOscarWilde · 2021-06-29T19:14:51+00:00

Here's my piece: •No pseudo intellectuals (those who watch a couple YouTube videos and think they are experts now) •No engineers (they are usually ugly and have huge egos and weird fetishes) •No Joe Rogan or Jordan Peterson fans...just no. •No otakus or gamers. Bonus point if they are into lolicon or some other weird anime fetish. •No guys that fetish latina women or look way too happy when I say I'm latina. Bonus point if they ask me if I have cocaine or I'm related to Pablo Escobar 🤦 •No guys who don't know the difference between America the continent and the USA. •No guys who don't know what's a Kg, meter or Celsius degrees. •No guys who don't celebrate holidays. •No guys who are not kind to their mothers (I'm not talking about a momma's boy but a geniunly good son). •No guys who are picky about food or are over complicated (I remember one time I went hiking with this guy who wouldn't sit down on the floor just to eat)

Muffcakelord · 2021-06-29T22:32:55+00:00

He has to be willing to visit me at the same rate as i visit him

ArtisticBrilliant491 · 2021-06-30T00:40:39+00:00

Brush your teeth twice a day. Floss at least once a day if you're an over-achieving male. Oh and don't have a personality disorder.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-06-30T01:24:53+00:00

A guy who doesn't wear decent underwear. I guy I dated last summer stayed at my house and slept in his undies. He genuinely had holes in them, they looked as though he'd owned them since he was a teenager. The next morning, he even threw them out in my bedroom trash can when I was out of the room.

He threw out his FILTHY OLD HOLED RIDDLED UNDIES in my BEDROOM TRASH BIN.

It was horrifying.

FDStrategist · 2021-06-29T15:19:46+00:00

Mustn’t collect weapons as a hobby

Mustn’t insert items into his foreskin to make his mates laugh

Mattress cannot be over 8 years old

No hoarders

Run if he thinks he’s worked out how to categorically disprove all religions

Mustn’t be a picky eater - especially avoid men who refuse to eat meat when it’s on the bone

Run away at any sign of sports/video-game related aggression - ie temper tantrums

Avoid men who think they have the option to quit their day job and become an actor - with no form of training or experience whatsoever!

sassyheather · 2021-06-29T15:33:37+00:00

No guys from my nationality 🙃🙃🙃 I’ve seen and experienced too much crap, so I’ll stick to dating foreigners even if my current relationship doesn’t work, I’d still choose a Scandinavian man over someone from my country

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2021-06-29T13:05:51+00:00

No dating anyone with the name similar to, or deriving from James. This includes Jameson and Jamie. My mom "dated" a James and he was horrible. I "dated" a Jameson he was horrible. 😒

Also I don't play smash bros or watch horror movies.

woadsky · 2021-06-29T16:47:23+00:00

No one who possesses an 8 1/2 x 11 glamour shot photograph. They both seemed somewhat selfish to me.

yfunk3 · 2021-06-29T22:22:03+00:00

There isn't enough battery on my smartphone for me to type out my list. 😂

NetflixBingeQueen · 2021-06-29T23:32:20+00:00

Doesn’t spit on the vag.. ever
Showers daily (twice if an intense day)
Keeps pubic hair trim (duvet bits stuck in expecting a blowie?)
Doesn’t play video games or like animae
Doesn’t like any “nerdy” shows/films (Star Wars etc)
Not a hippie who is ‘fighting the system’ by being ‘wilfully unemployed’
No artistic men
No mental health issues
Not having gone on a spiritual journey to be a monk or follow Buddhism or related activities
Circumcised or knows how to wash his extra skin thoroughly ( 🤮)

I could go on 😢

oneheadlight312 · 2021-07-04T20:55:46+00:00

You have to bathe once a day. Sad I have to have that as a deal breaker at this age.

Breesasha · 2021-06-29T21:17:37+00:00

Make sure he actually has a place in his name. I met a guy who was always "between places". He'd stay on a friend's couch or with his family. He moved like 5 times in the couple of years that I knew him. He never got mail consistently. His whole life fit into a duffle bag. Never again!

Novemberinthechair · 2021-06-29T22:45:17+00:00

No drummers. Total fuckbois.

blaizesparks · 2021-06-29T22:49:47+00:00

No furries or emos because those fuckers will rxpe you and then ask you to subscribe to their "sad bart simpson vibes" instagram account

DameSorciere · 2021-06-29T22:53:15+00:00

Does not take off his clothes for the first time and ask what I think of his penis. His tiny, itty bitty, chode. Addendum: Does not have chode.

lostmillenia · 2021-06-29T23:08:48+00:00

-doesnt spit in my vag

europoor24 · 2021-06-29T13:31:47+00:00

- No extroverted men

- No irish men

- Must be bigger or at least 6 inches

- No one who pretends to have an allergy to latex

- No one I have to force myself to be attracted to.

- Must have a clean mattress

- No one who "leaves their phone at home" for the night. (It's always BS)

- No one who cancels plans last minute

- No one who states/insists "I'm a nice guy"

Will probably think of more later, and yes the bar is in hell.

stxrchild · 2021-06-29T17:53:17+00:00

No guys that hug me and then try to shove their faces at my chest. I had a guy do this to me after I greeted him ON THE FIRST DATE.

No picky eaters. Watching someone whine about pickles and mayo on their burger doesn’t exactly turn me on.

No guys with cracked hands/feet. Not only does it feel like he’s made of sandpaper, but it’s a breeding ground for bacteria and filth. I knew a guy whose knuckles and fingertips had veins of black dirt stuck in them 🤢

No guys that are afraid to be the little spoon. It just reads as super insecure.

jackrusselterror1 · 2021-06-29T18:23:34+00:00

I don’t date picky eaters. I eventually want to have kids, and it’s hard to convince children to try food that their dad turns his nose up at, so it’s a dealbreaker.

I once went on a date with a guy who considered basic spaghetti sauce to be spicy and who made a customized order off the children’s menu at an Italian restaurant he picked out. Watching him frown at the entire menu, make a big ordeal about how old you have to be to order off the children’s menu, convincing the waiter that he’d pay the price of the Alfredo noodles and a chicken breast, just to eat Dino nuggets and Mac and Cheese, on a date… he was like an overgrown toddler, which is obviously a complete turn off and really embarrassing. Dino nugget man still gets brought up as a bad/funny online dating story among my friends.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-06-29T21:56:06+00:00

Must change his sheets and make his bed.

One guy gave me a tour of his home and his bed was a mess, with nasty sheets on that obviously haven'tbeenwashedin a while. It was so revolting 🤢, I had to stop seeing him.

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-06-30T01:35:29+00:00

Steals my underwear ☹️😑

Apricot_Ibex · 2021-06-30T03:32:33+00:00

Based more on observing my friends’ adventures with LVM:

No Elon Musk fanboys, no men who refer to certain types of beer as “women’s beer” (or women’s whatever- stupid stereotypes about what women like) and who use “woman” as an insult, no men who randomly throw your personal belongings away and then gaslight you about it, no men who have a fetish or “type,” no anti-vaxxers and conspiracy theorists, no men who erase their search history all the time or act weird when their gf touches their phone, no men who act rude or crass about menstruation and childbirth.

Radicology · 2021-06-29T14:48:25+00:00

Oh I love oddly specific criteria! Here are mine:

No Scorpios. I’m not even a believer in astrology, but nope.
No southerners from the United States.
No man buns.
No men who hate holidays/ birthdays.
No cops.
No firefighters.
No men who wear Affliction attire.
No men who are into “classic” style motorcycles, like HD.
No gun enthusiasts.
No men who are “against abortion except in cases of rape or incest.” I could write a whole post on this topic and how it is the most misogynistic abortion stance possible.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-06-30T08:36:50+00:00

A tremendous amount of hair gel.🚩 Anyone who feels the need to make sure his hair never moves at all is a controlling dick.

Lingueen · 2021-06-30T09:42:28+00:00

Not letting a guy take me to his place for lunch/dinner before we start dating for real.

I was talking to this guy a few years ago and he invited me to his place for lunch on my college lunch break. I accepted, and on the way to his place he kept on saying weird stuff like “Want to smell my armpits? They smell like Axe”, and even wanted to make a dish that has mushrooms, which I am allergic to.

Then he proceeded to make those pre-made pasta packets that came out soggy and watery, and throughout the whole time he tried to kiss me against my will. Even when I said no several times.

Eventually, when I finished eating that disgusting thing, which I didn’t even finish, he said “You know your way back, don’t you? I’m sleepy and hungry so I’m going to take a nap.”

I said I’d text him back later but never did. A year later we bumped into each other while he was with some friends, and had the audacity to ask me, in front of them, why I hadn’t texted him since then.

sigh

dancedancedance7 · 2021-08-05T09:26:11+00:00

No dudes who snoop in their family members' business or comment excessively on their decisions. It's a red flag for scary high levels of control.

windowseat4life · 2021-06-30T02:42:01+00:00

No guys that say "that's what she said" jokes. My ex said that all the time & he turned out to be a total douchebag.

RedditRabbitt · 2021-06-29T14:27:11+00:00

Must not play video games. Ex would play for like 10 hours straight.

Quebeks · 2021-06-29T15:09:42+00:00

Doesn’t wear long-Johns, year round, under his jeans. SMH

Bbeautifulbitch · 2021-06-29T23:38:02+00:00

No guys who store their margarine on the countertop ☠️

UnforgettableBevy · 2021-06-29T15:10:27+00:00

No men named Chris,John, or Fred
No chiropractors
No current or previous substance abuse
No negging
No abandonment of birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries
No one that cannot cook or keep his house clean
No Taurus men
No buzzkills
No men who will turn down sex
No mommas boys or men who work with their mothers

UnstrirringCoffee · 2021-06-29T16:52:46+00:00

Men who can't appreciate art about and/or created by women. I ceased to be interested in men who can't name any female authors they have read or don't watch any movies or shows with female leads, etc.

Cat_With_The_Fur · 2021-06-29T19:32:12+00:00

No men who were in the military 🚩🚩🚩

PinkestMango · 2021-06-29T19:57:47+00:00

No religious men

No men who have a passion for Japan or my little pony

No pornsick men

Absolutely no men who don't believe in having a job, wtf is that???

No ableist men

Must be willing to consider veganism or at least doesn't say I eat grass and/or am a bad hunter

mariesb · 2021-06-29T14:09:35+00:00

Don't trust anyone who is hard to find on social media (ie uses a fake name, weird profile photos, etc) or who "don't use it". They're usually lying and have at least ONE account where they are hiding significant others and loser signals.

pancakeCEO · 2021-06-29T15:18:08+00:00

I have a "reverse" version of this. Must be insanely clean and have a gigantic dick. Lol. I literally had no concept of what I was missing out on until I met this guy.

Queen_247 · 2021-06-29T22:26:47+00:00

If they disrespect their mother in front of you, they will do the same damn thing to you

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-06-29T12:35:56+00:00

OMG, brilliant. 😂😂😂

LiquidSapphire · 2021-06-30T01:21:42+00:00

No fucking long-term mental health medications. I'm glad they exist - but I have dated way too many people with fucked up depression and anxiety that refused to do anything about it - or just popped a pill and planned to do that the rest of their life. Medication is a short-term fix while talk therapy does the heavy lifting. I check every fucking bathroom cabinet.

tindertales_ · 2021-06-30T15:09:51+00:00

No men that take you through the aisles of CVS on your first "date". It was weird at the moment, but looking back, I'm mortified. He couldn't definitively pick a place to go, I ended up suggesting Starbucks on a Sunday evening. We get there, it's too crowded. So we end up hanging out outside by the pillars of the shopping plaza. Somehow we get to CVS and he just walks ahead of me while going up and down the aisles of CVS. The "date" ends with us with our backs against the pillar, struggling to continue conversation. I thought it went badly, but when I got back to my place he was still eager to talk to me and continued to escalate things, so I ended up liking him. And he ended up breadcrumbing me after we met for a second time at his place for a netflix and chill session. Clown shit.

justforfds · 2021-06-30T16:46:24+00:00

MoFos who will enjoy you cooking a special meal for them, then attempt to give you critique and a mark out if 10.

Delusionals who will play nice to get your number then try to put you into the position of proving yourself. One joker even told me he had "homework," for me and tried to get me to look for a flat for him. I put down the phone and never picked it up again.

Men treat you how they assume you deserve being treated, and therefore how they think you will accept being treated - based solely on their own narrow and 1 dimensional projections.

ussr_ftw · 2021-06-30T08:53:30+00:00

standard: does NOT watch porn with his cousin frequently and only tell me after four months...

fingernmuzzle · 2021-06-30T21:28:04+00:00

No addicts. No actively using addicts and no “in recovery/recovering” addicts. I am not interested in getting dragged to NA meetings.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-06-30T04:25:18+00:00

Men who talk at you and not to you. They practically monologue and you're there as the mute supportive character. I've met guys that let me know they had a wonderful time but all they did was talk and talk and talk about themselves and other people they knew🤷 All they wanted to do was hear their own voices. I occasionally talked but they talked over me. It's not like I didn't want to contribute. It really surprised me that they also called me: you're such a cool girl ( sic) but they didn't even ask stuff about me, like what I like, what are my hobbies, what I do for work... They seemed very happy to just talk about themselves, as if they didn't get the chance before.

muricaxoxo · 2021-06-30T05:30:14+00:00

2 guys, but must not have any pending court cases/court related issues 😂 I'm so embarrassed to even say this! BTW these were 2 well educated and seemingly normal guys.

AyemHerself · 2021-06-29T20:50:22+00:00

Look. All guys wanna hump Daisy Duck. It's just biology. By setting this unrealistic expectation, you're eliminating almost all men from your dating pool. No guy will want to be with you if he can't hump random cartoon ducks at Disneyland. I don't make the rules.

Anyway.

I have a rule against dating widowers now. Not because widowers are bad people, but because I can't deal with another relationship where I'm competing with a dead woman for my partner's heart.

MadamLeFay · 2021-06-29T15:19:37+00:00

No one named after a biblical character or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Minkiemink · 2021-06-30T03:59:21+00:00

Doesn't invite his married ex GF along on a group outing. She spent the day talking down to me and reliving their past.

Icefind · 2021-06-30T04:08:41+00:00

No musicians, artists, writers. From now on I charge hourly from feedback of works in process or editorial work.

Lightbeing999 · 2021-06-30T04:20:39+00:00

-No one who relies on drugs/alcohol to drown out their emotions

-No one who irons their clothes on their coffee table

-No one who enjoys vandalism

-No one who pushes me off the couch and laughs when I’ve hit the floor

-No one who sneaks alcohol into movie theaters

-No one who is a self-proclaimed artist whose work only consists of their self portraits

-No one who doesn’t give me a gift on Valentine’s Day AND insists on spending our date watching a cowboy movie. I repeat, this was Valentine’s Day 🤠🤡

bethofher · 2021-06-30T09:38:57+00:00

Doesn’t listen to Female artists. Nothing says more about a man’s empathy then when he only listens to male artists because ‘I can’t relate to women’

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Ericaeatscarrots · 2021-06-29T18:06:35+00:00

Must drink coffee. For some strange reason I’ve been involved with more than one dude that didn’t like coffee, and they ended up being super scumbag weirdos. One thing I really enjoy and want to experience in my life is enjoying a cup of coffee with a decent value man.

Also, no coke 🙅🏻‍♀️ learned that the hard way.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-06-29T18:15:14+00:00

I don't date dudes with depression.

Infinite emotional labour because they can't be bothered to get it together?

Miss me with that shit lmao

BetterDeparture436 · 2021-06-29T22:12:19+00:00

OMG this is hilarious . I guess we all have that *ONE* guy :D :D :D !!!!!

12thwizard · 2021-06-30T18:45:57+00:00

Must not scratch balls and sniff when he thinks you're not looking.

ms_monquis · 2021-06-30T14:33:47+00:00

No long hair.

AphoticEnigma_ · 2022-03-31T00:11:04+00:00

No guys older than me by more than one year

No ugly guys at all ever

No Londoners (no offence to anyone)

No finance or tech or medicine guys

No travels the whole world and brags about it types

Alternative-Estate65 · 2022-06-13T23:58:25+00:00

Opposite, raise your standards. Guy here, reading through these things, these are basic things.

USA_Ball · 2022-07-15T03:08:32+00:00

When we say that, we are referring to how some of you talk about stuff we can't control(height, c**k size, etc.) NOT HUMPING MASCOTS. 99% OF PEOPLE WOULD SAY THAT IS DISGUSTING.

JAMdestroyer38 · 2022-07-18T15:16:42+00:00

All you motherfucker's are going to die alone

Ayaka_Simp_69 · 2022-07-31T12:54:35+00:00

im pretty sure not every guy humps mascots and when they talk about lowering standards they talk about something that doesnt involve humping mascots? i dunno man havent heard of a lot of men humping mascots

MR_DERP_YT · 2022-08-08T20:26:16+00:00

Bruh 💀💀

Mamainas · 2022-08-16T04:50:28+00:00

"Lower your standards = Allow men to treat you like crap. This sucks.

I’ve been on several dates and hookups from apps like Tinder and Adult Friend Finder and finding a good guy is so rare! Let's say about 5% out of a hundred %. And they want us to lower our standards? I would rather be single. Lol"

Beeegbong · 2022-08-17T17:19:06+00:00

Title	Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy
Author	aoi4eg
Upvotes	9837
Comments	794
Date	June 29, 2021 11:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oa6s4m/please_share_stories_of_some_weirdly_specific/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/please-share-stories-of-some-weirdly-specific.787826 https://theredarchive.com/post/787826

Comments

1- must own and USE toilet paper and it must be 2ply or more. (I got offered construction paper one time because the guy, and I quote, "didn't use toilet paper" and no he didn't have a bidet)

2- must own more than just one cup/plate/pillow. (I asked for a glass of water and got it offered in a used wonton soup container)

3- must believe in evolution. (A conversation about the show Land Before Time REALLY took a turn).